I'm pretty tired right now so I hope that this is coherent for you all to understand. Maybe this will be food for thought for some! I guess my the root of my depression comes from my inability to connect with people. Part of the problem is that just lack the experience with developing close relationships, and the other part of the problem is just lack of desire to connect with people. For the most part socializing has become pretty boring, and isolating myself is also pretty boring haha. I'm not sure why socializing bores me, but it just does. Maybe some of ya'll feel that way, too. You might be wondering why I'm posting this on a suicide forum since it doesn't sound that I'm very desparate? I guess I don't want to reach a point of utter hopelessness in my life, and given my current indifference with life right now I'm kinda on that path. I hate to fail, and whenever I don't live up to my expectations, which I do try to keep realistic, I get depressed. This kinda explains why I typically try to avoid socializing. Anyways, I've been seeing a couple therapists to help me sort out my feelings and problems. The problem, though, is that they're preaching to the choir haha! They really don't have any earth-shattering advice that makes rethink my outlook on life. Most of what they say is common sense. I bet most of ya'll probably feel this way with your therapists. It's cool though they got a tough job listening to all of their patients talk about their problems. I gone down the medication route like many of you guys and gals. It takes willpower to get through depression not medication. Unfortunately I really don't have the willpower either. Being accused of not having enough willpower doesn't bother me because I know that the majority of people depressed or not depressed lack the willpower to overcome depression when the odds are against you. If some jerk-off runs up to any of you guys and harangues you for not having enough willpower to beat depression, just laugh at them and say the they probably have as much willpower as you do. They're just the beneficiary of a better extenuating circumstances. If this doesn't make sense, people that have willpower are those that have gone farther than an average person under similar circumstances (for instance my dad made something out of himself out of nothing) and of course anybody serving or who has served in the military. If you're wondering why I went off on a tangent, it makes me mad to hear people accuse people who suffer from depression of lacking willpower. YOU'RE NOT WEAK! Don't let any jag-bag tell you that you are! For me I have made my peace with God, death, and my life. The only thing that I can't come to terms with is the awful pain and violence associated with suicide. It's such an unnatural act, but I feel like this is my natural course. Once a person loses motivation to do something they move on. I've never really had the sustained motivation to accomplish difficult goals, and the goals that I have accomplish in my life I've derived little satisfaction from. The only thing that motivates me is to do just enough to get by and honestly that's not a fulfilling way to live. This is my temperament. I see it as a sign to move on. Thoughts? I know it's kind of taboo here, but how do others here overcome their fears?