Hi Everyone, This is my first visit to this or any online forum so please bare with me. I have had three major attempts at suicide in my life. This has been over the last eleven years, this has involved weak tree limbs and medical tools. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called Fibromyalgia after suffering for six years. Since that time I have had somewhere in the region of twenty different drugs most of which are anti-depressants. Having suffered a range of nasty side effects a short time ago I thought enough was enough. The latest drug gave me horrible mood swings I would loss my temper at the smallest thing. This came to a head at at meal with friends when I snapped at my partner. It was like an out of body experience I new what I was saying and I new it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. My friends didn't know where to look my partner tried not to react, I apologized a few minutes later but I new inside that this was the last time this would happen. We went home with our friend to have a drink I didn't have any alcohol trying to show I didn't want to make the situation any worse and not to worry my partner. When my friends had left and my partner had gone to bed I started to drink a lot, and introduced other substances I had stock pile with my treatment. I had prepared a text message and saved it in my drafts I had written a list of people that it had to be sent to and had written a note to my partner. I was found at 4am by my partner being violently sick which continued for several hours a left my with a vary sore throat and stomach. My doctor took me off the drugs I was on and refereed me to a Councillor. I'm here and I know I still get those feeling and I can explain why and when they come. I wish every day that they would go or I could find some way to deal with them I hope that this site may help me and in return I hope I can help as many people as possible. I wish peace to everyone here and I will do all I can to help you all.