How many men on here are victims of domestic violence
- Thread starter Lost and alone 1968
- Start date
I think there's certainly a lack of support for men who are experiencing domestic violence, especially when the violence is coming from a female partner.
One issue is that it may be a less common form of domestic violence, but I also think quite a few people in the DV community are immersed in ideological positions about gender. I actually knew a woman who was the director of a DV shelter who said outright that it's ok for woman to hit a man, but it's not ok for a man to hit a woman. There just seem to be a lot of women (and men) who are pumped up with rhetoric about the moral infallibility of women, and the inherent culpability of men.
Even hotpeachpages.net, which has a great world-wide directory of domestic violence resources, describes itself as "Abuse information and support for every woman and girl on Earth". It's awesome that they have those resources, but you'd think they could at least mention men and boys, right?
That said, I think in principle there could be some DV resources listed that might help men too. If a resource has a name like "Family Violence Resource Center", then it sounds like it would be a better bet than something that says something about women right in the title.
One issue is that it may be a less common form of domestic violence, but I also think quite a few people in the DV community are immersed in ideological positions about gender. I actually knew a woman who was the director of a DV shelter who said outright that it's ok for woman to hit a man, but it's not ok for a man to hit a woman. There just seem to be a lot of women (and men) who are pumped up with rhetoric about the moral infallibility of women, and the inherent culpability of men.
Even hotpeachpages.net, which has a great world-wide directory of domestic violence resources, describes itself as "Abuse information and support for every woman and girl on Earth". It's awesome that they have those resources, but you'd think they could at least mention men and boys, right?
That said, I think in principle there could be some DV resources listed that might help men too. If a resource has a name like "Family Violence Resource Center", then it sounds like it would be a better bet than something that says something about women right in the title.
May
You are absolutely correct.
I having been on both sides of this issue have a hard time understanding the stigma.
It partly is due to the fact women are more emotional and mental with their abuse than physical.
Yet when you take any kind of “batterers” intervention course it list the non physical abuse in it’s own category.
Hmmmmmm a little suspect to me.
Yet also very hypocritical.
You are absolutely correct.
I having been on both sides of this issue have a hard time understanding the stigma.
It partly is due to the fact women are more emotional and mental with their abuse than physical.
Yet when you take any kind of “batterers” intervention course it list the non physical abuse in it’s own category.
Hmmmmmm a little suspect to me.
Yet also very hypocritical.
I've always seen that people abuse other people, it doesn't mean a man abusing a woman or a woman abusing a man, but it definitely seems there are less resources for men to be helped which isn't fair or right, even JDot saying that if a man needs help from DV they are placed in a hotel doesn't seem right, women are placed in shelters with counsellors & staff around & other survivors of DV for support as well as links to resources, while a man just gets put in a hotel all alone at one of the most broken times in their lives, things need to be changed so men can be helped as as well from these types of situations, although it doesn't seem very likely when there are barely enough resources already for women let alone acknowledging & opening up the resources to include much more help for men fleeing DV
Hi, @Lost and alone 1968 - I’m sorry you and your colleague are finding it hard to find help. Domestic abuse Can happen to both men and women. There are many forms of abuse and any of them can be done by or done to men or women. I think that statistically, women are the victims in the majority of cases, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen to men by women.
In my city, the victims’ services branch of the police department deals with victims of domestic abuse - both men and women. The local victim services where you live might be a starting place for you and your colleague to find support. Domestic abuse hotlines are perhaps more used to hearing from women as victims. Nonetheless, they know that men can be victims and they ought to have some resources for men, too.
I hope you find some support.
In my city, the victims’ services branch of the police department deals with victims of domestic abuse - both men and women. The local victim services where you live might be a starting place for you and your colleague to find support. Domestic abuse hotlines are perhaps more used to hearing from women as victims. Nonetheless, they know that men can be victims and they ought to have some resources for men, too.
I hope you find some support.
Thank You all for your responses.
There has been admittedly that statistics are not kept or tracked about men being abused.
This gap in equality is major hurdle that needs to be addressed.
Where I live there are no resources for men period.
But if a male is the abuser there are plenty of resources.
This something that my colleagues and I are working on.
I really do appreciate the help this forum gave me the other day when I was down. I wish I had know about this place a lot sooner.
It has given me new hope in keeping up the fight to stay alive with a purpose.
Again Thank You all.
There has been admittedly that statistics are not kept or tracked about men being abused.
This gap in equality is major hurdle that needs to be addressed.
Where I live there are no resources for men period.
But if a male is the abuser there are plenty of resources.
This something that my colleagues and I are working on.
I really do appreciate the help this forum gave me the other day when I was down. I wish I had know about this place a lot sooner.
It has given me new hope in keeping up the fight to stay alive with a purpose.
Again Thank You all.
It's sad to see that men don't have the same resources as woman. I have seen and heard of men trying to get into somewhere to get away with there kids and get denied because they are a man. I think a big part of it besides the stigma men shouldn't hit woman and men are stronger so they can't be abused that is so wrong on many levels no one should hit anyone men or women another issue I think is that far fewer men report it because of fear of ridicule embarrassed that they get hit by women makes them feel less of a man so far from the truth men have feelings just like woman. I really hope that things change and u all get the help needed and remember you are all worthy of love and safe from violence.
I mean, one the one hand, I was in a relationship in my teens with a girls who'd regularly hit me or throw things at me whenever she got upset.
On the other hand, even having said that, I have trouble thinking of myself as having been in an abusive relationship.
Maybe part of the reason: she could do all that and yet, even though I never actually hit her even once, all I had to do was raise my hand as if I would to have her in genuine cowering fear.
That, and she later did shit that was 100% completely legal, but far more hurtful and even traumatizing than any physical violence she ever attempted.
On the other hand, even having said that, I have trouble thinking of myself as having been in an abusive relationship.
Maybe part of the reason: she could do all that and yet, even though I never actually hit her even once, all I had to do was raise my hand as if I would to have her in genuine cowering fear.
That, and she later did shit that was 100% completely legal, but far more hurtful and even traumatizing than any physical violence she ever attempted.
