How Many Of U dont wanna die, U just dont want to deal with pain anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by psilocybin420, Feb 20, 2008.

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  1. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    I persanlly belive all suicide really is about is pain. unbearble pain and the desire for it to end. So if your life was good, didnt feel unbearably shitty... would you still wanna end it. Ive dealt with so many hard blows and severe metnal shit,which i dont know how it started. Im lonely, beat up,broke down,only at the young age of 21. most days i cant help but have some elaborate fantasy of death. I have panic attacks. I go to nami meetings. I feel like painting the walls with my brains. ive been suicidal for a LONG time. or at least had thoughts of suicide for a long time. i perfer saying thoughts of suicide cause people say suicidal and suicidal is not a feeling having thoughts of suicide. being depressed is a feeling. maybe suicidal is a feeling i dunno. so if suicide really is some gateway to peace,or a better demesion then i would do it,but im not sure what happons. My Death is something that i will either give into or conquer. and thats true. Ille either commit suicide or give up on the idea and find a way around it. and yes life for me was not overrated before but now it feels highly overrated. maybe one person feels like life is overrated.... and others feel like life isnt. i feel like my family is fighting against me most days. or they dont like being around me much, but i cant help that, i have a very poor nervous system which was inhereted through my familys mental gene pool. the docs keep me doped out on clonazepam, which used to do the trick,but doesnt give me the same feeling of anti anxiety and doped out feeling i enjoyed..now i just try and cold turkey quit which seems like such a living hell. i always go back to the k'pins, its become a physical if one person cared, it would mean all the difference...allthough i do have carl, hes great! ive made too many mistakes
    theres no hope for me. suicide is a means of my escape route.
     
  2. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Well one of the more "famous" web pages for suicide help (I think it's link in this forum somewhere), simply says suicide is what happens when the problems/pain in our life exceeds our ability to cope with it.

    SO yes I agree with you. Life is a giant scale and hopefully for you and everyone else, something happens that tilts the scale back to living and away from suicide.
     
  3. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I have to say that when I get suicidal it's because the pain and life seem impossible to deal with. It's like my ability to cope is about to end. I wouldn't want to live a life with absolutely no pain because that's an important part of the experience but i could do without the over abundance of pain that makes me want to give up.
     
  4. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    For me, it's more than just a response to emotional or physical pain. The pointlessness of it all, the lack of any interest in anyone or anything, and the knowledge that it will only end, when i die. Taking away the pain, won't help, i will still hate me, and life.
     
  5. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone would wants to die just for the sake of dying. It would be like building a machine for the sole purpose of destroying it. Everyone has a reason, or reasons, for their suicidal feelings and ideation. Even when people do decide to kill themselves you almost always hear talk of 'the other side' or 'finally being able to rest', even in the face of death no one wants to believe that that is the end of their story and that is all. I'm fairly certain that if we lived in a peaceful world without crime, bullying and needless violence, without any kind of extreme hardship and everyone looking out for their fellow person, the only suicides would be accidental. I don't really think it's death itself people are seeking so much as looking at death as a means to an end, in this case peace.
     
  6. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    People are seeking peace and releif,and if this is what they get then sign me up! im barley hanging on most days
     
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