How many of you are Housebound,i.e., Afraid to venture into Public places?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Winslow, May 27, 2015.

  1. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    How many of you are Housebound, that is, Afraid to venture into Public places? If so, then why? I'd like to know about it in this thread.

    In my case, I try to get out of the house as much as possible. To that end, I got rid of my computer, because I had found that going on-line became addictive--to the point that I preferred the on-line world instead of the Real world. Even my own therapist always reminds me that the condition of your on-line friends being preferred over Real-world friends is a sickness. I agree with him--not because he's my therapist but also because I see the logic in it. That is, we humans are meant for In-person interaction.

    To that end, as I said, I got rid of my computer. Instead, in order to get on line, I go to the Public Library to use the Internet, which is where I am at this very moment composing this post. This way, I get into the Public. Because while I use the computer at this Library, I sometimes converse with other patrons who come to this library. There are six computers side by side, so I often converse with those other users who go on line at this library. That way, I get In-person Interaction.

    The point I'm driving at is that I feel much better emotionally after getting rid of my computer since it enabled me to travel to the Public Library where I get In-person socialization.

    So my other question is, do any of you also feel that having Internet at home can hinder attempts to get out of your house? Does your preference for on-line friends hamper any attempts or desire to make In-person type of friends?
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I would agree with computers and the "ease" of computer interactions being a large problem for many people. Your solution is actually a very interesting approach. People in general will always look for the easiest way possible to accomplish anything- very often choosing easiest over best in virtually any and every situation (miracle diet pills, super muscle enhancements powder, do these fun games and add 20 points to your IQ in 2 weeks, secret to making $10k a week from home that anybody can do... etc etc etc). Even reading these things everybody knows it it pure BS, but they still read and buy because of the possibility it doesn't work that well but maybe will work some and be easier. People are drawn to easy even though intuitively they know there are no shortcuts to the important things in life.

    It is hard to meet people and risk rejection or embarrassment so staying at home and doing it on the computer is easier and less risk. To make it worse, it is easier to meet people if you are not really you, if you are suddenly smarter, more accomplished, look better, have nicer whatever- so on the computer so much of what people tell you is pure bs. It is not they are bad people always, simply it is easier to not be themselves because being themselves has not always worked- so taking on the traits that get more attention and acceptance from whatever web site they are using is easier.

    All is fine except these relationships are doomed to failure because at some point they need to either be honest and likely have it end, or they need to stay forever pretending and never letting the relationship grow. Real meetings become impossible, and after so long of doing it actually people become confused themselves by what is real or not. In any case, it continues to get harder and harder at meeting and interacting with real people because all of the "practice" interactions are based on lies or half-truths. All confidence in real life interactions is lost if you find yourself failing on internet friendships when you have invented a "much better" you. The fact that it is these half truths told by both parties that caused it to fail is overlooked. Clearly this does not apply to everybody - but it does to a large percentage if any studies are to be believed at all. Certainly enough so that even if you were not doing it you have interacted with somebody that was and the same end result still eroded your confidence.

    Sorry - back to your question- I would absolutely get out more if I did not have the computer and likely it would be better for me. That said, health issues have made the computer a true benefit to me as well as there are often times I literally cannot get out, so everything from friendships to buying groceries and goods and work is done on the computer and prevented me from becoming completely isolated. I certainly would do better to learn better balance and exercise greater discipline when choosing to use the computer instead of actually going out- and if health did permit choose to go out instead of choosing fast and easy. But I am not in anyway prepared to give up the computer in my home. Perhaps though scheduling "computer free" days or hours would have some merit and that is something I am going to consider. Thanks for an interesting topic.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there Winslow,

    This topic hits close to home (pun not intended). In 2004, August to be exact when I was 15 years old after a couple of years of torment from bullies, trying to get over a pregnancy that ended in a misscarriage, rape, I said to myself screw this I am not going out again and I didn't until I left the house very briefly in 2008, just a couple of times going out. The years inside were hell for me but it was my comfort zone at the same time. I obviously got treated differently and it obviously had a huge impact on my life. I had no internet back then until 2006 so I cannot blame that, I stopped leaving the house for my own sanity if that makes sense. I felt so alone, no-one understood and no one tried to help me. To be honest what bothered me the most was that the few friends I did have did not seem to want anything to do with me after all those years probably because it was obvious I was ''crazy'' to them.

    Those days are now over and I do try to get out of the house every day. I do as much things outside as I can, going to the doctors, seeing a friend(i've slowly built up some relationships), picking up my meds, going into the city.I lived with a guy for 2 1/2 years, that did more harm than good. He was not nice to me most of the time and emotionally abusive. But I will agree that the internet probably does prevent me doing more things outside as it's so much easier to just talk to online friends and when they have been your friends for years through thick and thin you build up a bond. If you ever need any help or want to talk about this issue further just let me know and I will try and help.

    best wishes, petal
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2015
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Other than going out to eat once a day, I don't really go anywhere else unless I have to. With my mental state, I feel very confused all of the time so I never go shopping or drive outside of town. It really sucks because I never used to be this way and used to go all kinds of places and enjoyed driving. I used to go see my parents all of the time, but don't anymore because I would be scared to death to try driving on the interstate. I don't think that I could do it. It really sucks because my brain is so much different than it used to be. I feel like I'm an elderly person and I'm only 43.