How Many Of You Are Too Short To Get A Date and Thus Want To Die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nihilist Last Man, Apr 1, 2007.

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  1. Nihilist Last Man

    Nihilist Last Man Well-Known Member

    Girls even way shorter than me wouldn't even date me because they probably feel that I'm too short and want a taller man. Thus, I'm desperately trying to find a way to accept the fact of being alone for life. So far I can't find any good system. Evolutionary biology suggests that the depression I'm feeling from this is the way mother nature is telling me to get rid of myself (i.e. suicide). I guess I can understand why girls find me repulsive due to my height - they want to reinforce their own 'feminism' and feel that the only way to do so is by dating a taller man and somehow being protected (as if some random guy is actually going to go up to a girl and beat the shit out of her). So if really short girls want to date the taller guy fine, but they should note that height for boys is passed through the moms side (ex - my great-grandfather was 6'6" and my great-grandmother was a midget at 5' even. She wanted tall children. How tall did my grandfather and his brother end up? 5'7". About a foot shorter than their father. So there you go. My idiot great-grandfather (whos parents were both tall), who ironically was a erudited professor, fell for that stupid little 5'-even catholic midget and permanently ruined the good genetic strain. And thus the men, all tall I might add, in my family and from both sides of my family married these fucking little malicious 5' midget women who were as dumb as rocks - as if it were some kind of virtue to marry the smallest rodent woman you could find - UNTIL YOU FINALLY COME TO THE TRAGEDY THAT IS ME - a suicidal 5'5" guy.

    <mod edit-gentlelady>

    Short men have the highest suicide rate in the world (which I strongly, strongly believe is due to outright rejection by the opposite sex and society in general). Its also no fun looking up all day long.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/07/13/health/webmd/main708912.shtml

    How many of you guys are on here because you, like me, are rejected simply because of your height?

    Since theres nothing we can do about our height why cant we just spare ourselves the humiliation of life and just kill ourselves?
     
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  2. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    You can have certain operations done to increase you height, however it'll only be by about 3 inches and not really add to your overall apparence.

    I've got two friends who are short, one of them seems to do really well for him self and the other...... :sad: well he hasn't much luck at all. He's only had sex once and it was more or less pity sex :blink:

    I wouldn't feel too bad, although I've got my end away I've never been any kind of loving relationship at all and I'm nearly 24 years old. Also it's been well over a year since I last had sex, actually, coming up to nearly two years.

    It's shame, I never knew it was such a problem, I'm 6.2-3ft and the view isn't much better from up here.


    As far as you mentioned about evolution though, being tall hasn't much to do with it. It's more about being best suited to the environment than actually being the tallest and best in the world.

    I don't know what to suggest, I'm tittering on the edge of topping myself too.
     
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  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Well I would like to say you made quite the accomplishment of getting into an Ivy League school, you do have a lot of potential, an incredible amount and so you feel that all of it is naught because of your height? I'm afraid I dunno what to really say, I am 19 and 5"8, an okay height but I do get upset that many people are now taller than me, I stopped growing when I was 13 and now my 16 year old brother is taller than me as well.

    I feel this may cause offense to you, but you are obviously incredibly smart and talented and I feel you are throwing your life away just because you feel that you will never get a decent date, I really feel that you can, there are women out there that would love to talk to you and be with you and do not care what your height is. You have so much to offer, you are so intelligent, far better than I so I feel shocked that you feel that you have to take your life because of this, no offense again.

    There is so much in life, it has so much to offer, don't preoccupy yourself with getting a girl so much when there are so many other things out there and I feel you should not try to increase your height, its easy for me to say I know, but you should accept yourself and look hard and long for the perfect girl that will accept you for who you are. Any girl that refuses such a smart man like you just because of his height doesn't deserve a decent man in my opinion anyways. Good luck.
     
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  4. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    Shame people feel this way.

    I wonder if it's always been like this or are these ethetics being promoted to the general public?
     
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    It is this society we live in that of course perfers tall, strong men and the short are mocked and ignored. And there are cultures where short men are very much accepted and respected. But its truly the inside that counts. I feel that the topic creator may have to look harder for a girl than other "normal, taller people", but he can definately find a great gem of a girl and not some vain, shallow girl that only cares about the height of a man. Girls must also find one that made it into an Ivy League school attactive no, even if he dropped out? I would if I were a girl.

    I would like to say that I am 19 and also have ever had a date, had a girlfriend, probably won't for a while and there's a lot of us here as well in that situation, tall or not.
     
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  6. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member


    Are we just all nazi's now in the western world? I mean you're not even talking about extremes here in shortness, you're talking a few inches.

    I read an article recently about human evolution, it said in the future there was going to be a shimmering fine tonned bunch of other lords and the rest were just going to human excrement, just gunk and they'd all have lower jobs too like in a Brave New World.

    You ever read that? Well I think i'll be following Mr.Savage's course of action a long time before then (you won't understand that point if you haven't read it).
     
  7. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I never read it and did I say anything offensive? :sad:
    If I did, I'm very sorry. :sad:
    I think some things I say are by my silly assumptions and I apologize for being so ignorant and short-sighted. :sad:
     
  8. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    No, you didn't say anything offensive.

    Well in a Brave New World, everything is like an exaggerated version of our own world today. It's a secular society where people are bred for certain roles, a eugenics programme in action. All the ugly small people have do stuff like clean sewers and so on. Other people are bred just to do admin work and then there's like a class A section of people who just play about and work on science projects decanting other humans for breeding. A savage from outside, a man like ourselves is brought into this brave new world, but he doesn't like it, it's horrible to him. So he hangs himself in the end, there's a really good description of it though, it just doesn't actually say he hung himself. It just describes the sight of his feet suspended in the doorway and it the direction they turn in.
     
  9. BrooklynRider

    BrooklynRider Well-Known Member

    Last Man-

    While I sense the great pain you are in over your loneliness, I just have to challenge the premise of your statement. I look around and see a lot of short guys in good, loving relationships. You are painting with an awfully broad brush and I don't believe you can point to any factually scientific survey that proves that short men are incapable of dating, marriage or relationships.

    You state that:

    I don't buy that for a minute. Maybe you have never dated and have not had sex, but I'm going to venture a pretty solid guess that it has NOTHING to do with your height.

    You state that:

    THAT sounds much more honest and is a much more likely and believable source of your failure to connect with others and perhaps date.


    It really sounds like you have much bigger issues with self-esteem. If you believe your life is "going nowhere" and you are spending time watching others live life instead of living your own, what do you suggest girls should be seeing in you? What are you offering? It's not as though tall guys or guys in successful relationships just have horny girls dropping at their feet. A successful relationship takes two committed people. Initiating a relationship requires being both interesting and INTERESTED in other people.


    Who is deeming you "undateable"? I'm sorry Last Man, your whole premise and argument disintegrates here. Suddenly, you are qualifying dates as "decent one." So, you can get a date, but not with your fantasy girl? I'm sorry, but this just hits me as very narcissistic. By your own words, you take for granted people that do show interest and want to date you, and dismiss and dispose them because they don't live up to your checklist of standards. You might want to take a deeper look at this.

    Because they "probably feel"? Last Man, I'm not intending to pick on you, because I do believe you wrote a heartfelt post. However, in that passion to let it all out, you reveal a perspective of the world that is simply not reality based. No one can predict the future and no one can argue how someone would probably feel. I'd can argue (for the sake of playing devil's advocate) that shorter girls would avoid you because of your intense self-loathing and blatant disrespect for shorter people. People don't date bodies. People date other people.

    Last Man, this is very sad. You are 22 and this is no time to be determining how your life will unfold. Negative predictions do nothing but create desperation. Why are you desperately trying to create a sense that misery awaits?

    Can you provide a quote from a scientific study? Can you provide any text from evolutionary biology reinforcing this point?

    You have a very distorted view of the world and it is wholly outside of reality.

    These are truly mean-spirited, atrocious and misogynistic statements. Explain again why no one finds you attractive? I am shocked by the pure ugliness of these statements. That ugliness is INSIDE OF YOU Last Man. I really pity you and I agree that you are a tragedy. I hope you reread your words over and over again. THIS is a good thing to put a little frame around and contemplate. Height is not something that repulses others. It is statements and beliefs like this that are repulsive. I know your post is a brain dump and I believe you are bearing a bit of your soul here. However, as a person who deals in honesty and compassion, I can't sit here and offer you sympathy or empathy. This is some deeply disturbing and hateful stuff. It is also some great information to help you make informed choices and changes going forward.

    My reason for being here is in this suicide forum. I invite you to read it. Anyone in pain deserves compassion and support. My heart goes out for you because at age 22 you believe you have it all figured out and you have it so incredibly wrong. Please, I encourage you to read and reread you initial post. You don't have to be miserable and there are so may things you can do immediately to hasten a healthy world view.

    Peace-
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2007
  10. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Please. You can get a date. My husband is 5'3", and we fit together perfectly :) He also has great legs and a fantastic ass, blue eyes and gorgeous lips. I have also been told that I am quite beautiful. There is hope out there for you if you would just stop blaming your problems on your height. It sounds like this is a self-confidence issue.
     
  11. Nihilist Last Man

    Nihilist Last Man Well-Known Member

    BrooklynRider,

    Thanks for your post. I have to digress with your first statement - I look around and I see that there are NO guys my height or size who are in relationships. People always have these odd perceptions about other peoples height - I can't tell you how many times I heard people say that Tom Cruise is 5'4" - THATS RIDICULOUS - he's 5'8" - I'm absolutely positive. Anyways 4" may not seem like a lot, but in regards to human height 4" is astronomical. So while you say you see plenty of short guys who get dates - well that may be so - but I assume the men you were talking about are in the short height range of 5'6" to 5'9". Im specifically talking about men who are in the range or 5' to 5'5" - the short, short men. Here's two sources which I hope you peruse through.

    http://www.nationaudio.com/News/DailyNation/Supplements/saturday/15122001/story2.htm

    http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0063.html

    Girls always ignore me because of my height. I dont consider my face to be unattractive, but I am ignored by girls my age all the time. At parties, girls always ignore me, even if I socialize. They always go for a taller guy. I don't even get invited to parties anymore - the only ones I attend are for playing video games and smoking copious amounts of pot with 3 or 4 of my guy friends - who don't really date either.

    I am lonely, my parents don't speak English fluently and I don't speak their native language fluently at all. So the communication level between me and my parents is on par with that of an 7 year old. My brother is 12 years older than me, hes taller, but hes been out of the house for a while and is married now. I'll take the faux pas and say that I'm the only child. I dont really have acne anymore, but in my adolescence, I had the worst acne you could possibly imagine. Sometimes I cried to stay home on some school days, but my dad would just belt me If I didnt go to school - he didnt care that I had acne. Thus, the trials and tribulations of adolescence were non-existant to me. I never developed any social skills - I was bullied/harassed all through high school and junior high. Even when I attended other club events - I was always mocked by all the other high schoolers - I don't even leave the house anymore - This past summer I spent every second of everyday in my house - I didnt even have to change out of my pajamas. I remember being humiliated in a bar, the first time I ever had the courage to go to a bar, and the bartender didn't believe that I was over 21. He scratched my drivers license repeatedly and made a mockery out of the whole scene. I wanted to die right then and there.

    I'm a resolute misanthrope nowadays. I still never had a real job or made any sort of money because I'm too afraid of being embarrassed with ever increasing chronicity. You're right, it takes being interesting and being interested in other people to initiate a relationship. But, lets not forget that the interest between members of a relationship require reciprocity. She needs to be interested in me too! No girls ever have been.


    I'm "undateable" because I'm short. And because of its tendency to promulgate other problems - that of lowed self-esteem, due to lack of respect, it becomes a cycle. Nowadays I just binge drink alcohol in my room and smoke pot (I dont actually smoke it, but rather I vape it as to not get tar and crap in my lungs) to take the pain away - and it does - so I do it repeatedly. I almost managed to die one time and it was marvelous - but it was only a dream - I woke up with the worst hangover ever. When I say decent ones I'm not inferring that I have such high standards - I merely meant that I would never be able to date or marry a truly decent girl. Maybe a serious criminal, or someone who has no standards themselves. Lets face it, we all have some standard but I am not allowede to even think of having such an idea. You're shooting too deeply.

    Girls are nowadays more adroit than ever - hence they set for themselves much higher standards. And these standards are biological - woman want the guy who will produce for them the offspring that will have the best change in propogating her (and his) genes - its that simple. Don't forget that people ARE bodies.

    You wrote:

    "Last Man, this is very sad. You are 22 and this is no time to be determining how your life will unfold. Negative predictions do nothing but create desperation. Why are you desperately trying to create a sense that misery awaits?"

    Perhaps I think its better to just be dead. I dont believe in an afterlife, god, jesus, ect. Existance is absurd and meaningless and I embrace this meaninglessness. Thus suicide is, as well, meaningless. Why should I continually suffer If I could just kill myself? Living for my parents is really just a fake pathetic excuse to go on living - I then merely become an object.

    You wrote:

    "Can you provide a quote from a scientific study? Can you provide any text from evolutionary biology reinforcing this point?"

    Evolutionary psychologists have developed several models to explain the apparent contradiction of suicide and evolutionary theory. Denys de Catanzaro has conducted a lot of research into this field.

    De Catanzaro begins to explain suicide by saying that differential reproduction is in fact much more important to evolution than is "survival of the fittest". That is to say, that mere survival is not particularly important to passing on genes. Even if someone is short lived, but reproduces a lot, they are likely to have more descendants than someone who lives a long time but does not reproduce very much. The other factor in explaining from the evolutionary perspective is inclusive fitness. Since an individual will share many genes with their relatives, it is in their evolutionary interest to ensure their relatives' survival and reproduction. More of their genes will be present in subsequent generations.

    De Catanzaro believes that a general theory of suicide can be formed based on a calculation of the "costs of an individual's immediate death to the propagation of his or her genes". He developed a very complex equation that takes the various factors of the subject's potential reproduction, such as dependency of children, remaining reproductive potential, dependence on kin, and others, into account and is able to predict the subject's risk for suicide

    According to de Catanzaro's variables, those at greatest risk of suicide include the elderly, especially those who are a burden on their family, anyone who is ostracized by their kin, someone unable to provide for their kin, dependent on their reproductively capable kin, or anyone who has difficulty relating with the opposite sex. All of these conditions will lead to emotional and psychological conditions that will make suicide more likely. De Catanzaro cites studies that show that emotions have a physiological basis to show that the self destructive response may be a natural, evolved response to their situation to ensure the continued propagation of one's genes.

    According to this theory, those mostly likely to kill themselves would be the elderly dependent on financially pressed children, or someone with little hope of reproducing.

    Short men are people who have much less hope of reproducing (or just having sex) than a tall fellow.

    You wrote:

    "These are truly mean-spirited, atrocious and misogynistic statements. Explain again why no one finds you attractive? I am shocked by the pure ugliness of these statements. That ugliness is INSIDE OF YOU Last Man. I really pity you and I agree that you are a tragedy. I hope you reread your words over and over again. THIS is a good thing to put a little frame around and contemplate. Height is not something that repulses others. It is statements and beliefs like this that are repulsive. I know your post is a brain dump and I believe you are bearing a bit of your soul here. However, as a person who deals in honesty and compassion, I can't sit here and offer you sympathy or empathy. This is some deeply disturbing and hateful stuff. It is also some great information to help you make informed choices and changes going forward."

    I absolutely hate my parents for having me - absolutely hate them. I voice it to them all the time and always ask my mom why she even had me. She's just a dumb uneducated Catholic. I slapped her once in the face and it knocked her to the floor. I cried and told that bitch that she should have been sterilized and I should have been aborted. They already know all about my plan for suicide - Both my mother and father, and my brother know that I want, out of anything, is to just finally die in peace. I wish Hitler had gotten to my family and put them into the concentration camps where they belonged. They are genetically inferior and thus should not be having kids. How atrocious it is that a good strand of genetics, such as the one that my great grandfather (6'6" tall) had has denigrated into the genetic filth that I am. If this was WWII, I'd be more than willing to submit myself to a concentration camp for death where I belong.

    I have lived long enough to know that I don't have it wrong - people, even very kind hearted people, are hypocrites - A woman who says that she'd date a guy whos 5'4" would actually never date a guy who's 5'4" because the odds of that wouldn't happen anyway.

    I wish I wasn't born like this. But unfortunately I wasn't aborted. My suicide will be my very late term abortion - and I already told my mom all about it.
    I'm actually rather bouyant about the prospects of death - there are none to consider.

    Nowadays, I'm just a pothead - I've been put on a host of antidepressants - paxil, zoloft, lexapro, now effexor. However, I absolutely refuse to lie to myself - no matter how painful. A guy like me will never get any girl.
     
  12. hmm. I am 5ft 5in tall, and never had a real date, though I almost did until this month, which I will be typing a very lengthy topic post about it on SF soon. Anyways, I hadn't thought about my height being a problem as much as my disability seems to be, as well as my weight which I am very thin. I suppose all of those issues mean that I'm at a great disadvantage. Well, it is very sad.
     
  13. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    Amen BrooklynRider.
     
  14. Nihilist Last Man

    Nihilist Last Man Well-Known Member

    trust me - its because of my height that i cant find a date - and its my parents fault for letting me be born into this world. they should have never had kids.
     
  15. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You might feel that your height is holding you back, but maybe it's your self esteem more than anything.

    I am taller than 5'5 and dated a guy that was exactly 5'5. He was great, we had such a laugh. His height didn't matter because, well, why would it, He had a beautiful personality and that was improtant to me.

    Also, my brother is tiny, he hasn't grown because he is ill, and he hates being small. But he is starting to learn that every single person has something about themselves that they don't like. And the important people don't judge your height or looks or anything. The improtant people focus on the person you are.
     
  16. Nihilist Last Man

    Nihilist Last Man Well-Known Member

    I'd give anything for that to be true - people focusing on the person you are -that doesnt fly in the U.S. Its all about good looks - look at all the people traveling down to Florida, Bahamas, Cancun for spring break -I think it would be illegal for me to party with those college kids because of my short height. I'd probably get a lot of stares like, "what the hell is that kid doing here?"

    The bottom line is that short height is a deal breaker. And because of this atrocious height I will never date. And if love is the greatest thing ever, and Im precluded from it because of my height, then I would rather kill myself. I don't think I can go on living alone for the rest of my life like a hermit in the barren woods of Alaska
     
  17. Nihilist Last Man

    Nihilist Last Man Well-Known Member

    This first part somehow was erased-

    "Well, I'm at the old, old age of 22. I dropped out of an Ivy League school (I wont say which) due to my aloofness, lonliness, worthlessness - I simply couldn't handle watching all those kids have a good time dating, ect, while my life is passing by going absolutely nowhere. I'm deemed 'undateable' because at 5'5" - I'm way too short to get a date. Girls look at me then, they role their eyes away.
     
  18. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe something that might help is to improve your self esteem (you don't lose anything by trying).

    If you google 'Ways to Improve your self esteem' loads of stuff comes up that might really help you.

    Maybe it's worth giving it a go, and then you might see that there are good things about you, and try to focus on those and showing them to their best.
     
  19. Rose.

    Rose. Member

    I don't know if this helps or not but Frank Iero(MCR) is around 5'5 i think and that dude is majorly hot, so yeah...
     
  20. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I'm only 5'6" and I don't have too much trouble with girls. Maybe a certain type of girl thinks height is important, but then they're pretty shallow aren't they? And why would you want to go out with someone like that? Try meeting people who are outside your normal social circle, maybe people who are maybe a bit older than you. Who've lived enough to realise that height is a pointless thing to judge people on. They do exist, even in the US :wink:
     
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