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How Many Of You Are Too Ugly To Get A Date and Thus Want To Die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lebigmac, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. lebigmac

    lebigmac Well-Known Member

    A spin-off of the ever-popular How Many Of You Are Too Short To Get A Date and Thus Want To Die? thread. Okay, well, I'm wondering how many of you are complete failures with the opposite sex, not because of some personality flaw or social ineptitude, but simply because you're ugly. Because I am.

    I've tried the whole perfunctory chit-chat and asking a lot of question. I'm great at feigning interest. I've tried being the confident Don Juan, the arrogant a-hole, and recently the guy who doesn't give a crap. I've tried everything, even "being myself," whatever the hell that means. So, after this repeated failure, I can only conclude that there must be a constant at play here - my looks.

    Sure enough, I'm not what you'd refer to as "classically handsome." I lack all the facial features that make a man good looking, and thus sexually desirable. Symmetry? Nope. One eyelid's bigger than the other, as is one earlobe. Large chin? Nope. Mine recedes. Strong jawline? Mine's practically nonexistent. Prominent brows? Not at all. High cheekbones? Nope, just average. Healthy-looking skin? No. I have less melanin than anyone I know and some acne scars. In addition, I've been "blessed" with a large, bumpy, slightly upturned nose, scraggly eyebrows, and eyes that are unseemingly close in proximity. Right now I'm kind of chubby (not fat), because even when I was ripped from working out everday, I never got any interest from women.

    I can't think of a better reason to kill oneself than constant rejection from the opposite sex. So what should I do? Off myself? Continue to be miserable? Hire an escort? I'm really at my wit's end here. Also, is anyone else in a similar situation? If so, how do you deal with the sexual frustration? Any honest responses would be appreciated, even if it's just to say, "You're an ass."
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2007
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have no answers for you except to commiserate with you on your situation with the opposite sex and your looks. Being of nondescript looks myself I've always felt that appearance is over rated. But that's probably because men were always looking at every other female on earth but me. I don't know what to tell you. I don't think you're being an ass either, just have a very real problem and want a solution.

    I do know that I have been in relationships with men, both handsome and ugly and some drop-dead-gorgeous... and the ugly ones outside were the most beautiful inside, in my experience. I don't know why that is but I've found it to be true so often. I don't know what kind of people you hang out with or if that's even important, I only believe that you should not kill yourself over your perceived appearance. I believe that you can someday find a woman who meets your needs and is kind and loving, no matter what you look like. Please don't judge yourself by your looks. There's more to you than what's on the outside.:smile:

  3. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    why not just post this in the original thread?
  4. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Focus on your positive traits. Everyone has flaws, but we also have beautiful features. Some of us have flaws that are more noticeable, others can hide their flaws easily... but everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Think about your most attractive aspects. You must have both physical and mental attributes that are great, don't ignore them. For example, your eyes, your hair, your smile, laughter, humor, personality, empathy, imagination, etc.. these are some examples, but think about it.. as an individual, what do you like about yourself? What do others like about you? It's okay to admit to your flaws, but you should also admit your good qualities to balance the negative with positive.

    Considering both sides of the spectrum, are you really that undesirable of a person overall? Have you asked girls whom you dated why they didn't like you?

    When you seek out females, which traits are most important to you? Is physical beauty as important as intelligence in your ideal partner?

    Finally, I'll just say - maybe take a break from dating if it's not going well for you right now. Focus on some other goals in your life, and you might gain more self-esteem through your work. It could be that you appear insecure to others, through non-verbal cues and behavior for example. Sometimes 'acting' confident isn't the answer. When you genuinely feel great, it will radiate naturally, others will find you more attractive, and females may actually come to you on their own.

    Obviously you know yourself better than I do, but I hope my suggestion does help you. The truth is of course that life isn't fair, and some of us are born into wonderful circumstances, and others of us may suffer our entire lives. I hope you'll learn and live to enjoy the cards you've been dealt, and find good in what you already have, rather than wanting what you don't have. Good luck, and I do salute you for your determination despite your weaknesses. Remember that if many were put in similar circumstances, they wouldn't be able to even do what you've done.
  5. DepressionII

    DepressionII Well-Known Member

    I'm not really ugly as such. But I'm too mentally retarded to fit in with normal people or get any girls other than online ones that aren't even in the same fuckin hemisphere as me. And my stupid hair probably doesn't help.
  6. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I am not ugly, but I've never had a proper boyfriend. And the fact that I'm getting older and have never had one makes it harder for me to know how to act in a relationship. Sure it hurts like hell, but I just have to learn to live with the fact. My online life is my life at the moment and as good as it gets. If a boy happens to like me one day then so be it, in the mean time I'm not thinking about it.
  7. I suggest you read the thread entitled `Should I be feeling sad over girls?` (started 28th November 06)

    There you will find the opinions and advice of many forum members who have covered similar ground in some detail already.

    It`s a very interesting set of posts that should probably be bumped.
  8. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm not ugly, but I can't get a boyfriend either. I've never wanted to kill myself over it though. I don't think I have had a real relationship in about... 2 years.
  9. The fact you look like Avril Lavigne (in my opinion the hottest female on the planet) makes me think you can get anyone you want!
  10. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    I've been ugly my whole life......*dies
  11. monicallen

    monicallen New Member

    i am really really ugly , and i want to die too , so if you wanna talk just pm me anytime
  12. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    That could turn out badly...

    But, ehh, I think I'm ugly, I've heard I wasn't, and it's my self esteem, so who knows, I think that it's the inside that counts anyway. Confidence.
  13. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    I'll PM you bout that. Don't wanna hijack this thread.
  14. make_me_bad

    make_me_bad Well-Known Member

    naw, you're doing it wrong. stop hitting on girls. friends first.

  15. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    As something Milhouse would say, "my mom says I'm good looking."
  16. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    i know I'm ugly because I get the looks and the sniggers whenever I go by people. I've had little kids look at my face and call me a freak. I have huge pock marks all over my face and some acme still!
  17. KathyLynnKilroy

    KathyLynnKilroy Active Member

    You want ugly? I'm ugly!
  18. Syd

    Syd Guest

    To those who label themselves as ugly -

    I'd say chances are pretty good that you're attractive to someone else who you would admire yourself. Maybe to me for example. ;) (males, I apologize. disregard this message)

    Seriously though. People are different, we can't all look, think, and act the same. That's too boring. It's no fun!!

    You might be surprised at how wide-ranging conceptions of beauty can truly be. I like to think that the more enlightened one is, the more they begin to see beauty in everything and everyone. I don't claim to be such a person, though it is an admirable goal, isn't it?

    There is a universal beauty prevalent in our society, but is there not a great subjectivity to it as well? Eye of the beholder?

    Surely, you must admit.. someone probably thinks or has thought you're good-looking. It happens all the time, but we're usually too afraid to say it.
  19. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    I think not beeing good looking is a curse. I'm definitively NOT good looking, and it is hard to approach girls. I think that if the get know me, I could also impress them, but if you look at a table with 4 or 5 girls, to whom you would like to talk? to the most attractive, right? maybe later you find out she's dumb, but the first thing that makes you wanna talk with someone is their appearance. Stop saying "look doesn't count" IT DOES! That's a lie to say to people that are not good looking enough to get a date... I could be einstein and Leonardo Da Vinci all in one, but not a single girl will accept a date with me in the first place. The exterior makes you desiderable, despite everyone says it does not count. And if anyone thinks that this is not a good reason to be despressed, I can say that the pain of depression is the same for everyone, it only changes the way we get there.
  20. jupiter202

    jupiter202 Well-Known Member

    Of course looks count for something initially. Its just the truth. But what makes you think you arent attractive to someone else? Just because you arent attractive in your opinion, I am POSITIVE that SOMEONE thinks you are.
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