How many times can you forgive friends?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by morning rush, Aug 26, 2010.


How many times do you forgive friends and family

  1. 1 time

  2. 2 times

  3. Always forgive

  4. Never forgive

  5. Other

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    well if friends deceive you, hurt you in any way, do you forgive them over and over? Or do you give them chances? Or do you disconnect right away from that person? Do you blame yourself each time you get hurt and forgive them?

    I'm just so confused...and I know no one is perfect...
  2. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member

    i have a different look at this

    i answered other but then my situation makes me feel i can not do this in a black and white way

    have you thought to take each situation when you need to forgive to place it in its context and take in all that you have at the moment to make such an important decission

    give yourself room to make the forgiveness according to each time as they are so different each time

    forgive might not mean forget... if that helps... if you wish to remember back to the last time before making your decission that can also work
  3. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    Forgive them for yourself. Let yourself get over whatever it is they did.

    As you said, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes.

    Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to let them take advantage of you. You don't have to set yourself up to be hurt again. Be reasonable in how you deal with someone in the future, but just let go of the anger.

    I hope that makes sense and helps.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I forgive them over and over and then that's it....I'm gone..
    Don't need to be used and abused....used to put up with it but not any more..

    Tell yourself it's their loss and move on if they keep hurting you....
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If it is a one time occurence then yes forgive If you told them how it hurts you and they continue to hurt you then they are not a friend are they. Time to move on to friends that support you and care not hurt you.
  6. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    There's no one, single answer for every situation, I believe. It really depends on what they're lying about and why.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Obviously I've done it too many times. EVERYONE, from little kids to elderly seniors know I'm only around to be hurt and used and abused on so many levels. Trust no one but yourself with your heart. Ahhh sucks!
  8. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I used to let myself be used all the time. Now iv just given up on so called friends. If only i could do the same with my family :dry:
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Family, over and over. My brother has had more chances than anyone else in his world and all that's happened is that I hate him but we have to get on because we live in the same house.

    Friends, it, to some extent, depends on the circumstances and how they have dealt with it, but if someone hurts me normally I just cut them out. It happens on forums and stuff too but I don't make a big deal of things so generally people would never know unless they try to approach me and I ignore them. I don't have emotional ties to people so I find it really easy.

    What I have learnt through is that everyone is fallible and everyone makes mistakes and errors, which can sometimes bring about a different outcome than what I might expect.
  10. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I chose 'never forgive', because after a lot of thinking about this, I concluded that I can't ever fogive anyone any little hurt they cause me. I don't mean that I instantly dismiss them - if that was the case I wouldn't have even the few friends I have, but I can remain friends with someone without forgiving them. It's only when they continue to hurt me that I will break ties with them. And as for me family... well that's a whole different kettle of fish.

    As others have said, it depends on the situation, and the severity of the hurt. And also if it was intended to hurt you. Everyone does make mistakes, and no-one's perfect, so we all deserve a chance, but equally, you don't deserve to be hurt. You can't blame yourself if someone has hurt you (I know I do this, and that's maybe why I stay friends with some people, even though they hurt me).

  11. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I voted for other because it really depends. Such as how long have i known that friend, what were the reason they hurted me etc..
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I voted for other because I think each situation is different.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I voted once because I beleive in giving them the benfit of doubt.. If they hurt me again then I wash my hands from them..
  14. Twinkle ☆ Twinkle

    Twinkle ☆ Twinkle Well-Known Member

    For me it depends of the severity of their action and if it's something that only happened once. If they keep hurting me over and over again, then no I do not forgive them. I discard them and never speak to 'em again.
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Depends what they did and what they were doing to learn from it.
  16. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Depends on what they did but i tend to be a bit of a push over >.>
  17. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I think the answer depends heavily on just how much you need these friends. Some friends have the upperhand and know you need them so gives them right to treat you however they want. People have no choice but to forgive them or live the pathetic life they don't want.
  18. Emerald Hyperion

    Emerald Hyperion Unknown Mystery Person

    I've been decieved by every person I've ever came across, so I can never forgive anyone. I've been hurt far too many times to the point where I lost count.
  19. Moonracer

    Moonracer Member

    I had toxic friends that I forgave over and over. Or maybe "forgave" isn't the right word for what I did. I just put up with them and gave them chance after chance, hoping that they would change and show me more respect.

    There are people that are no longer in my life because of the repeat frustration and aggravation they caused me by being spiteful, thoughtless, controlling and/or inconsiderate over and over.

    I blamed myself for not being assertive, being afraid of confrontation, and being a pushover. I blame them for being careless and thoughtless, and taking advantage of my kindness.
  20. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I never forgive. I forget the wrong, but I never forgive the person.
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