I PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY, I FUCKING PRAY MY HEART OUT….and EVERYDAY I wake up and something SHITTY and AWFUL smacks me in the face….Dad hospitalized, brother drug addict, dad now drug addict, dealing with SERIOUS depression, NO friends, LONELINESS, and CRUELTY? IS THIS THE RESULT OF MY PRAYERS? DOES GOD JUST WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I"VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS DECISION FOR 12 FUCKING YEARS AND NOTHING HAS IMPROVED JUST GOTTEN WORSE….I"VE stayed for religious purposes…I've stayed to keep my family happy but its not worth it! I"VE SUFFERED ENOUGH. I swear if I had a lethal injectable sitting next to me at my desk I would inject in a heartbeat without a question, if I had a sure quick way of ending this shit immediately damn there would be NO question. Why is this world so unkind, so cruel? Where is the love anymore?