How many times have you been in love?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JmpMster, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Just a curiosity - excluding family , friends, and a passing crush -

    How many times have you truly been in love?

    44 years , the first 16 or so somewhat irrelevant in my case to this question - 4 times
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Until quite recently I'd have said twice. I now know for sure neither of those times were love.

    So once.
  3. triedtoomanytimes

    triedtoomanytimes Well-Known Member

    I would have said four times, especially so this last time, but have to now say just the once, though I do miss terribly them all though whether that is love or just seeking companionship I don't know. What I do know is this last time was something so totally different, but alas, unrequieted.
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Self definition of love is somewhat revolving I think in general....just its nature
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    None, and I don't want to be, since love doesn't exist for me anyway
  6. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    Once and I hope that it never happens again.
  7. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Truly? Well, I've been obsessed with a few girls and women over the years, but I think I've only truly been in love once. And maybe that wasn't even real, because we never actually met. Talked on the phone for hours every day, but never in the flesh. I do think I loved her. She was my everything. I had to let her go so that she could be happy. But I never forgot about her or stopped loving her. Wherever she is now, my only hope is that she is happy. She deserves it. She was a bright spot in my otherwise mostly bleak life.

    I would very much like to fall in love again, though this time I hope it lasts. I think I have found a pretty good candidate, I'll know for sure once the time is right. :)
  8. Sephaus

    Sephaus Well-Known Member

    Honestly I can't say I've ever been in love.
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I think once, but in a way I'm not sure. I know I loved him, but I never got the chance to really figure out if I was in love or not.
  10. red ribbons

    red ribbons Well-Known Member

    Lost count...
  11. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni


    i'd say once now given what i understand it to be these days, but i may've said three or so a couple years ago

    may say none in a couple years, but i'll say once for now. feels once right now.
  12. lycoris

    lycoris Well-Known Member


    the others weren't love. more like self inflicted torture actually.
  13. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Reading through this I am reminded of a quote - and though I find the quote easily enough I can't find the author to credit it to - but any rate

    Until you find the right person you will never be able to understand what was wrong with the others. When You find the right person it becomes very clear.
  14. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    On reflection I have no idea what the emotion love is...I felt attraction and 'like' but only varying degrees of these. Is love different to a strong 'like'?
  15. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Exactly this. I spent so long trying to work out what was wrong with me - feeling defective, worthless - convinced I was impossible to love. I made myself the problem. When you find the right person - when you find the person - the right person - you know. You realise love does not have to hurt, certainly does not make you feel bad inside. You realise how it is meant to feel.

    Shock - yes love is different from strong 'like'. I wondered this too. It is just my opinion - not saying I am right necessarily - but for me loving someone is the absolute knowledge that you would willingly give up everything, sacrifice everything, to make them happy - being loved back is the absolute certainty they would never let you, that your happiness is just as important to them.

    Most of all - I realise that if it is really love - it makes you feel GOOD.
  16. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    3 -- all pretty much unrequited… two of them probably weren't worth it but who knows maybe they grew up into wonderful people, but one of them I really wish that things could have gone differently. I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't suck or make me feel like I have a lot of things wrong with me.

    The 'it becomes clear' thing is bullshit. You think it becomes clear, but that's just because you're high on endorphins. But really, you have absolutely no control over or usually awareness of how the other person feels and if they feel the same way you do it's not magic at all more like luck… and shit can change pretty quickly.

    I find it pretty easy to get loopy over someone but I'm more demanding now so finding someone who fits my criteria is actually really hard.
  17. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Twice...both times I messed up, they were diamonds.
  18. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    same here
  19. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am of different mind - I do not believe in unrequited love in terms of two non familial adults. If you like somebody and they do not like you back that is all it it is. I do not believe you can experience the true emotion of love by yourself - without the return of same - which is very clear when it is real- you do not really know the person and how can you love somebody you do not know completely? You can love the parts of them you do know or are aware of, but will always have a feeling of being unfulfilled because of the aspects of them you do not know. If you do not know what they think or how they feel it is no longer love, but better described as yearning, which sadly enough, is far far more common than love.

  20. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Then I guess my answer is NEVER.
    Thanks for that!