Someone started a thread like this on another suicide forum and I would like to see the response to it here. So how many times have you told people until you decided to keep it to yourself? I personally have spent 10 years trying to convince my family that I need help with their support, understanding, and a willingness to improve, but there is nothing more they can/want to do. They are old and depressed themselves, though they deny it. Not every seed that gets planted recieves enough water. My family has visited me in the psych ward when I <mod edit - methods> and they are fully aware of my situation. My entire family was nice and respectful to me for one week then couldn't keep up the charade anymore. They just aren't emotionally available. At this point I have given up telling anyone anything. It has seriously brought me to a point of reflection.... What the hell do I expect telling people that I'm going to kill myself? Can you imagine the scary feeling being on the OTHER side of that conversation? They don't know what to do. They are programmed to steer clear of death so when you bring up that topic, they shutdown. Life isn't supposed to kill itself so they become confused and use their own logic on you that they would use to pull themselves out, but of course you're not them and they haven't been down that road, ever. There is NOTHING that can come out of another persons mouth that can do ANYTHING to help ANYONE that have uttered the words, "I would rather die. The reality is that there are a lof of sick and broken humans and very few have the luxury of being connected to family and friends that have the education and resources they are willing to part with to truly help. Those are the people that don't need to keep it to themselves because they have the means to actually entertain the possibility of easing the pain. So why do I keep it to myself? Because it was a lie to think it could ever be fixed, and now everyone thinks your a suicidal nut job, but they'll never tell you that to your face. They will just smile and hope you don't bother them in their merry way. I don't blame them. I used to yearn for a happy life too, and letting someone bring you to your knees won't let anyone else stand on your shoulders. Love is just another word for survival. So when someone is "loving", or helping a person 'survive', and the other isn't helping back, it becomes a detrimental one-sided relationship in any aspect. The person that isn't being "loved" back will want to leave simply becuase they are being slowly drained with no hope in sight of ever being "loved" back. Since we are too broken to "love" ourselves, much less anyone else, we are left to die. They didn't ask to be born with or without their problems as much as I did, so why are they held accountable for mine? Because at first we agreed to god, religion and spiritual and magical thinking just so we can cope by pointing the finger at something or someone. Or maybe believing that if we worship something enough, it will bend the laws of time and space to give us what we want. Since that turned out to be the biggest bullshit of all time, we started to look to each other for help. And when people understood that if they gave you a cup of sugar today, they might not have any left for tomorrow, it is probably best to say that you have none left and selfishness and greed became a survival tool. I'm forced to keep it to myself because no one wants to share their sugar to make me sweet again. It's ok, I'm already dead.