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How many times

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by sadcat, Jun 7, 2014.

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  1. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    I hav e been sick so long
    I can not remember being well
    My heart was broken by pneumonia
    And does not work at all
    That left me weak and sad
    And my legs gave out
    And cancer set in
    And my spine has failed
    At top and bottom

    But the worst is the meds
    Which take everything away
    Even the good
    And leave me sad and sick

    The sadness and the meds have taken toll
    And though i fought to stay alive
    The meds made me not care
    Anymore to remain here
    So up the pole i climbed and tried to leap
    Out in the air , where only breezes
    Climb and feathers fly

    But angels came and held me up
    So many times i climbed that pole
    Almost singing as i climbed it
    Seeing tomorrow in the wind
    Seeing the end so close
    Needing to go home to bliss

    The angels kept me with them each time for a night
    And we danced and sang round their fire light
    And we danced and revelled in the night
    Before the new light came around
    And we separated once again

    Twenty times and more i danced the dance of night time
    With the angels and the darkness
    Twenty times i climbed the pole
    And threw myself upon the winds
    And tried to fly

    To night i will try again and not
    This time will I tell the angels again
    That i am flying all alone
    For this time i will find the tree i seek
    The tree of happiness and breezes

    This time the winds will carry me to home
    And bliss in the other world
    The one beneath this one
    Or over . Who cares. A new start
    Or an end of poles and flying there.
  2. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    *hugs you*
    Here's my piece of advice: I make myself think that I'm already dead after my suicide attempt. Could be true, couldn't it? It makes me feel stronger sometimes. Maybe it could help you too?
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hope that you'll stick around on here, and that you talk to us.

    we want to help..
  4. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Hello Cookie

    I like your idea. I will try it . I have been very sick for about 7 years, and expected to die just about every minute of those seven years. I have fought hard to remain alive. I am so weary from fighting so hard every day. I will meditate to see the results of death for me , upon my friends and loved ones.

    Hello Emily83

    I will try to stick around and speak to you and Cookie

    I am so weary from being so sick.

    And the cancer meds , which I take are failing. I have been fighting back with herbs. So far, I am winning, but am nit sure how long I can keep that up.


    Sending you both healing thoughts and hugs and snuggles, sadcat
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