So I have 2 ex's now. I cared about them both and they both have moved on, I haven't really as I need to be alone right now. I have this guilt that follows and here is why. The first girlfriend we will call Laura, the second Diana for privacy sakes. So Laura and I dated a really long time like five years and over time although we had a lot in common, started to grow apart and wanted different things. More importantly we became abusive. She regularly physically abused me kicked me slapped punched, clawed you name it. I put up with it for years thinking it's normal since that what my mother always did to my father. I also provoked her at times and she had a real nasty temper but never ever hit her back. She would often threaten to break up with me but I never threatened her with that. She was kind of sickly tied to me. Anyways we had a mutual friend Diana who I began to get to know better. Diana was really gentle and although we didn't have much in common I could tell she liked me and finally after all the abuse and hearing that Laura wanted to break up with me for the billionth time I told her I had feelings for Diana and she flipped out and eventually broke up with me. I didn't want to break up really but I didn't see things going anywhere at all except more and more abuse: me verbally and her physically and verbally. Laura became SUPER pissed at Diana when Diana and I started hanging out. I think she saw it as more of a break where as I saw it as a break for a while where I would date others and get away from her physical assaults. Diana and I started dating and this drove Laura up the wall. She would scream at me on the phone about it constantly. Here the thing Laura and Diana were in the same group of friends but never very close, yet still it did feel wrong. I just kind of felt like I wouldn't meet another girl who was as kind to me as Diana ( which I know realize is bullshit.) Diana ended up moving away (I didn't want to do long distance) and after like 6 months of listening to Laura curse me for dating her I broke up with Diana. Diana understood the long distance thing wasnt gonna work so it wasn't nasty or anything. Now I'm alone and they have both likely found plenty of new possible guys. I feel angry at myself for getting into a mess like this though even though its been some months now. I always said I was above this crap but I have such low self confidence with women I guess I feel like its my only chance when a decent girl likes me. Neither of these girls were right for me I now realize but I've kinda given up on women anyhow. I do think Diana should not have been flirting with me when she knew I was in a relationship but at the same time Laura and I should have broken up years and years before it ever came to anything. What do you guys think?