How often do you feel suicidal?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Winslow, Apr 2, 2016.


How often do you feel suicidal?

  1. Every few months

  2. Every few weeks

    0 vote(s)
  3. Every few days

  4. More often

  1. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    How often do you feel suicidal? And I don't necessarily mean the extreme where you actually have a method ready. I don't necessarily mean that extreme, but rather just the thought that you still wish that you could "go" pretty soon. If you reply to this post, you could also include the frequency of times that you actually think about suicide, whether extreme or moderate or mild. Because, after all, I want to cover the whole range, that is, from extreme to "moderate" wishes. In my case, even though I am past middle age already, I generally only seldom think of actual methods, but at least once a week fantasize how wonderful it would be if my doctor told me I have a terminal illness from which I would die within a month. In other words, in my case, it's mild to moderate 99% of the time, which means, I guess, that I'm within the safety zone.
    So while I don't actively seek out any methods, I at least fantasize about the joy I would feel if I ever get a terminal-type diagnosis from my doctor.
    So how often do you feel suicidal? And what are the ranges?
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    In the past few months it's been frequent, every day. To clarify, I don't really have the courage at this point to do it, but I have prayed to go to sleep and not wake up, also I find nothing left in life that is not a struggle, so I wouldn't mind just being gone. As you mentioned about a terminal illness. Basically a peaceful and painless demise would be welcome.
    Good post.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Once every few months, I have no plans to commit suicide, I do get severe anxiety and wish I wouldn't wake up sometimes or wish I was in a coma but that's not suicidal, those are just thoughts. I have decided to fight this until the end. I knew from the start that this could take a while to recover from but the anxiety is so overwhelming but I will get through it!
    CandleLight likes this.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I feel it most of the time, but I try my best to keep the feelings at bay. I have the worst feelings when something bad happens.
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    The thing is, my last actual attempt was when I joined this site... but I mostly have suicidal impulses... and they scare me so much. I can hold a thing in my hands and suddenly be about to use it to end it. Even if I thought I was having a good day.

    I try to avoid getting myself into those situations, especially if I have a day when I'm vulnerable.
  6. Yoko

    Yoko Seeker of Darkness

    Every few days I'm consumed by thoughts. They're just thoughts. I don't have any motivation to act on them. I seem to be satisfied by the pain of my depression. I let the darkness of my mind overpower whatever light was left. Some days I fight it. Other days I just want to be left alone with my thoughts. I let them roll around until it becomes too much for me to handle. Then I move on to other things.

    I've only a few times in my life thought of methods. I don't even harm myself physically. It's all contained in my mind. I look perfectly fine on the outside. Inside is often a different story.

    I don't know how I would feel about getting a terminal illness though. I have thought about it, but I don't know how I'd feel.
  7. afterlifepig

    afterlifepig Well-Known Member

    usually after i drink too much coffee and feel creatively burnt out
  8. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    Just feeling like I want to die? Pretty much every day. I keep hoping it'll happen but it never does. *sigh*
  9. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    Never felt suicidal in my life, not even once, until about four weeks ago. Now I think about it a lot and sometimes go to bed and hope not to wake up. But I have no real plans to end it all. I know that I am deeply depressed because of what has happened to me. I think most would be deeply depressed in the same circumstances. I also know that I might start to feel better with time. And I would hate to hurt family by ending it all. I know they would blame themselves. Funny thing is that coming on this site (almost continuously in last few days!) has really made me feel stronger and more able to keep going. So thanks guys. You're doing a great job. Take care of yourselves.
  10. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    hey Phantomlady.
    Sorry to hear that you have these thoughts. Please remember the great work that you are doing here and all the people that you are helping. You seem like a really kind person and the wrold would be a much darker place without you.
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  11. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    This may sound trite. But I think that one day you will look back and be really glad that you kept going and I think that one day you will be having a much better life. Things get better for most. So hang in there friend.
  12. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    Honestly I'm at the point where I don't care. I don't even care if my life gets better. I just want to die. I don't want to end myself I just want to die.
  13. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    Sure. Maybe like me you are severely depressed and it is hard to care about anything. But its the depression affecting our thinking. My mind shouts that I will never be happy again but a little bit of me knows that I could be happy one day. Im trying to hang onto that. I was really happy once and could be really happy again. Life will never be the same after what happened to me, and it will be a big struggle in some ways, but a little bit of me still thinks that I can rebuild my life. get back to work,get married again, maybe have kids. Who knows. Depression stops us seeing the possibility for happiness. But that possibility is really there I think. Just got to keep going and keep hoping.
  14. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    I was happy twice in my life. But I've lost all hope. No other woman will ever agree to marry me, I'll never get my life straight. The little bit of hope I once clung to died months ago.
  15. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    I am not as young as I used to be and I have aged about 100 years in last four weeks. Plus I have lost my sense of humour and have become a bit self-obessed. I once found it pretty easy to meet women and got married a few times and engaged quit a few more. Now I think that any sensible woman would run a mile if she saw me. But still found that woman I was speaking to last week gave me her business card and seemed to be interested! If there is someone for me, there is someone for every one. You might not want to meet someone at the moment. But you will do and Im sure there will be someone for you out there. Im not being positive, Im being realistic. You (like me) might get turned down a few times, but Im sure you will meet a soul mate. Dont rely on how you feel now. Its the depression. Just trust that you will begin to feel better. maybe do little things that make you feel better and work from there.
  16. Brandon Kwon

    Brandon Kwon Banned Member

    That's just the thing, I WANT to meet somebody but women all look at me like I'm a creep or a rapist. So I just don't even bother talking to them. All I've ever really wanted in life is to be married and have a family of my own, but I feel like things beyond my control are just not letting it happen so I get more and more depressed and more and more filled with bitter hatred towards me and others. I just...UGH!!!!

    *Sigh* I'm just out of capability of happiness without drugs. I'm miserable. Hateful. Bitter. Cold. I just can't deal with it anymore.
  17. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    Am off to bed. Its pretty late in UK. Hope to chat again sometime. This site has really helped me in last few days (the darkest of my life). And was nice chatting to u. Cheers
  18. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

  19. Fallingfast21

    Fallingfast21 Member

    About half of the time. Which I guess makes me lucky in some ways because I have somewhat okay periods for awhile but right now they are really hard to remember.
  20. Khvde

    Khvde Well-Known Member

    Exam times (thanks to adhd) and when people are evil.