How often do you think about dying?

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
#21
I've been thinking about it a lot.

on and off for almost 18 years of my life. (Well, technically 17 years, so far, but 18 as of this upcoming April)

Every time I find myself having a bad day, or a bad couple of days, my thoughts start to drift back to the day I ALMOST committed suicide and the events therein that triggered it.

Lots of times, I have a tendency to think about what has been and I ask myself: "Where would I be now, had things happened differently from the way they have?"

My mind constantly dwells on what has been and all the probable and possible ways things could have been, would have been and (in my personal opinion) what I think should have been.

Starting with the most obvious...

If I took my own life, either yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or perhaps even years ago, I wouldn't be here right now, posting this, wouldn't I?
Wow 18 years is way too long
Sorry you suffered so much
Its 6 years for me and iVe had enough
I also think to myself if i was drowned as a baby none of this would happen
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
#23
I think about it at least three times a day, sometimes more
First time i think of it is as soon as i wake up. I think i wish i died in my sleep
Also night times i think about dying too
And at least once during the day
What you might find contradictory is that even though I think about death everyday but I do not want to die YET. After all, I still have many things I have yet to accomplish so I obviously have to stay alive. The way I think of death is in terms of hoping I pass away before I have any painful illness or mental dementia. No, not suicidal but I really believe that the human lifespan has been extended too far. As many of the Elderly will tell you, their Health becomes less and less as they get older. So prolonging life too far does not make any sense at all if the quality does not measure up to the quantity.
 

Pebble mouse

Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―
SF Pro
#26
Multiple times throughout the day. Usually not seriously. At other times, I have a certain amount of intent to act on it. Unlike many people here, I do not feel horrid every day. I have my good days and my bad days. I am grateful for that.
 

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
#28
Multiple times throughout the day. Usually not seriously. At other times, I have a certain amount of intent to act on it. Unlike many people here, I do not feel horrid every day. I have my good days and my bad days. I am grateful for that.
Good to hear you have some good days that you are grateful for *hug
Hope your psychotics episodes has been under control and that your job search is going well
 

Unenthusiastic

Well-Known Member
#30
I think about it at least three times a day, sometimes more
First time i think of it is as soon as i wake up. I think i wish i died in my sleep
Also night times i think about dying too
And at least once during the day
I often wish I'd die in my sleep, too. It's not like I'd be able to experience any degree of disappointment over it.
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
#31
Sometimes I wonder about daredevils, those who purposely expose themselves to danger in order to feel a euphoric rush. That euphoric rush can be likened to a cocaine rush. Dangerous as it is, they still want to live, they still want to survive, but they are flirting with death.
 

Ijos

Active Member
#33
Most days. The only reason I am still alive is my children. If it wasn't for them I would be dead already too much emotional pain and this non stop constant unsafe feeling and fear is draining.
 
#34
Not at all, except to think I really don't want to die. I feel like I've doomed myself saying that (if this were a movie I'd be dead in the next scene) but there are things I really want to do still, and my husband needs me.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$135.00
Goal
$255.00
Top