Hello all, I have never spoken to anyone about suicide before because I tried to once, with my pshycologist.. I felt like she didn't take me seriously. She even skipped out of the office "forgetting" my appointment. Anyway, like most of you (I'm sure) I don't like talking about my problems because it's not something I am proud of. A little background story, I have been suicidal for 8 years now on and off. I am proud to say that I have managed to stop myself from sudden death although I have failed miserably majority of the times. This resulting in a lot of self harm. As the years go by, I feel like it is such a drag. Now, everytime I attempt suicide I stop because I think about my mother. She is the only reason why I ever choose to stop. It is so exhausting. Thoughts of suicide come more frequently at around 5 times a week. Even though it's a nice feeling (and sad at the same time) to have such an escape, I don't know if it's "normal" for someone to enjoy these thoughts so often? Question is, how often do you think about ending life? Do you enjoy it or does it upset you?