How old were you when you first realized....

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Random, Aug 18, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I was just thinking. I just realized that I've been depressed and aimless all of my life.

    I first realized something was different about me when I was in 1st grade. I guess I was about 6 or so. The teacher asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up and it seemed as though everyone but me had an answer.

    I didn't want to be anything. I just wanted to be me. None of the responses the other kids had sounded interesting. Not at all. They all sounded dull, tedious and pointless.

    I think my sister had decided by the time she was about 13 that she wanted to be a nurse and that's what she did. She's been a nurse for several years. I never did anything. I worked fast food for a few years. I worked as a sucurity guard for a few months. I worked at a textile factory for a couple of months and that's pretty much it. I'm 34 years old and probably haven't worked more than 8 years total in my life.

    Anyway. I realized it from the moment I was asked for the first time. I told the teacher I didn't know what I wanted to do and she said that I would have to think of something sooner or later. Right then, I felt the clock start ticking. But it was a hollow ticking because nothing ever came of it.

    I hated school. I flunked a lot. I didn't care. Math was a mystery. Reading was OK. Social Studies was kind of OK until it got to the point to where I had to remember tons of names and dates. Then, I just sat around drawing on my notepad until classes were over. I always knew I didn't have a chance.
     
  2. Barbados

    Barbados Well-Known Member

    I was probably 10 I think when I realised I cant handle life and living the way everyone does
     
  3. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    same i was pretty young when i realized. flunked all my classes or got d's or c's cept in maybe one or two classes like art. was always antisocial. never fit in.
     
  4. 8ish. I don't remember.
     
  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i'd say i was about five maybe six latest. i never saw myself become anything because i figured i was going to have to spend the rest of my life getting over the shit that happened to me at the age of five and so on. i got along with people just fine in school but i was always a loner. hmmmmm
     
  6. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Maybe around 9 or 10, at that time I started hurting myself a bit to calm down. Only really hit home at 14-16 though, nothing much has happened to challenge my views on life.
     
  7. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Lol this year, when i was 18, always thought that it was normal to feel like this. Ofcourse i saw that i was different than others, but I thought that was just because i'm a ugly fat stupid boring retard blablabla, i'm in puberty etc. It seemed that i've been depressed since I was 9 or 10 and just got worser and worser. Just became normal in my eyes.
     
  8. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I think i can trace it back to when i was very young, primary school even, but around 17, late high school, then it really hit home and its been with me ever since.
     
  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm,

    Probably about the age of my GCSE's (16)
    Though I have a REALLY bad memory when it comes to my childhood for some reason :blink: :unsure:
     
  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    erm about 9 - 10 i think. I remember trying to drown myself when i was pretty young. Really hit me about 17 - 18.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.