How old were you when you first thought about suicide

[Nick]

This thread is really making me sad

It is sad in the sense that many of us starting struggling when we were very young (myself included). Fought a long battle to be here today, and many of us still fight that battle. On the other side of it, all of us are still here fighting. Some for 20+ years, and still here to talk about it.

I can say for myself that in the last years things have improved. Whether that be meds, job change, life choices, friends or something else I haven't accounted for. The struggle is still real, but I can truly say there are times I experience what I may be labeled happiness. At the very least there are far more times I am content, and not lost in the labyrinth of my mind.

 

[Harrow]

I think I was about six. I remember being at school and then just getting home and thinking I do not fit in and trying in my room.

 

[Lonelygirlfn]

This thread is really making me sad

I'm sorry that it makes you feel sad Pebble mouse. I actually like this thread a lot. It makes me feel less alone and I like hearing other peoples stories. For example, I never realizied, that this much people thought about suicide at such a young age. Hugs to all of you

 

[Pebble mouse]

I never realizied, that this much people thought about suicide at such a young age.

That's why it's so depressing. I thought my ideation at a young age wasn't common. Now I think differently. And that is sad.

 

[cowardlycat]

Probably before 12,

 

[Warriorden]

I was very young probably still in single figures. But I didn’t act on it until I was in early 20’s (which was just a cry for help and not a serious attempt, I recognise that now) then more seriously a good few times in my early 30’s. Only now in my mid 40’s do I know that there are other options available to me and I have got to what the root cause of my issues are which is helpful and I’m working my way through them. If I’m being honest, if someone offered me a choice, on most days I’d still opt to leave the world. the guilt of the impact that I’d leave behind is what stops me and a realisation that my feelings are temporary and that I may be on the final steps to having a more fulfilled happier life. I made a deal with myself to give that some time to work. It’s hard though sometimes.

 

[uri]

When I first realized that there is no God or anything and that life is truly pointless and empty then I realized that nothing and no one will give a shit if I live or die because deep down lets face it human life ain't precious.

The fact that there is no omnipotent God or anything supernatural really makes human life pointless and this means that we are really here just to suffer terribly and then die.

 

[Vanquished]

My first thought of it was at 5. My first attempt came about 20min later. I’m 50 now.

 

[Jezah81]

I've been thinking about it since my early 20s but only seriously within the last 5 years or so

 

[Just_a_guy]

I think i was about 10-12, tough times but it got better!

 

[RCee]

First time I went to therapy was age 8.
I remember even before that feelings of emptiness and hopelessness
And not living long my only world was that around me so of course my brain thought death was the best option. At that age you either live (in hell , what my thoughts were) or die (and be at peace) you know nothing else of how to help what your going thru.
My memories and how much I blocked I have a hard time with anything before the age 7. I remember some moments but not sure if that is made up from looking at pictures or if it was real.

My mother used to scare us and say if you sui you will be in purgatory forever and never get into heaven and told us all the bad things that would happen to us. Me and my sister talked about this later in life and we thought (she had to of known shit was bad to keep that scare tactic up. But instead of trying to help she just kept on with her scare tactics)

Anyways sorry for the rant. In a mood.

 

[panicbutton]

I was six when I first started praying for God to end my life. My first attempt was 11.

 

[Dream.scythe]

8 or 9, I tried to drown myself in my dad's pool

 

[Dante]

I think I first started toying with the idea of killing myself when I was 16 or 17, but I didnt genuinely start considering it as an option until I was 19, and I think I got kinda close. After that its been with my mood how seriously I have been considering killing myself.

In the last few years it was just a constant intrusive thought I tried to ignore, and that finally went away in January. No more suicidal thoughts or feelings.

 

[Road to Nowhere]

I was around 13 when I experienced depression and suicidal thoughts.