6 years we were inseperable. We had a healthy baby girl, and 2 years later she left me for my childhood friend. A guy who lived with me at times, we grew up together. My only other good friend back then was pushed away by her during our relationship, he moved away and died. He was the nicest person. To make their relationship work both of them decided I must be the enemy, or else what they did was a mistake. To see my daughter through all these years I had to deal with them while they learned new ways to hate me. If I was showed any kindness, even being around too much would cause trouble in their relationship. This lasted 5 years. When they split up she was living with her mother, who was losing their house. So they moved in with me for a few months, her and her mother, and her new child fathered by my old friend. We had barely been on talking terms since we split up, I put up with her just to help their family so my daughter would have a better life. While staying with me she became friends with my cousin, they talked for a long time online but they eventually started going out at night together as "friends". Whatever happened with that .. she ended up moving out while her mother stayed (who I get along with well). This was a short thing with my cousin, less than a week. But because of this he just glares at me on Christmas and other holidays, the only time I see him. I have a good family, even though family holidays were not my favorite things, they were safe and peaceful. Now if he is around its uncomfortable and negative. I can't even explain to my grandmother why we don't get along. The whole thing makes me sick. It was ok for a few years. We were able to stay out of each others lives and work out schooling and responsibilities for our child who has grown up very well, and is the happiest 2nd grade girl you could ever meet. My ex found a new guy this year. He was a nice guy, they were both happy and got very serious. We used to have a thing, everyone would come over on saturdays and hang out. They both started coming over too, everyone got along.. the past was the past. I thought she matured so much. Now my only other good friend left has been going through a divorce. He's been coming to my house after work when he's had problems, he's been sleeping here on the couch. He talks to me with problems. I slept at his house when I initially split with her. At the same time, my ex split up with her boyfriend. She's been depressed and looking for someone to talk to. So on Saturdays they started talking more. On Friday they went into town, and didn't come back for 3 hours. They went on a long drive to talk. I thought this was ok. I could understand their similar situations and they needed to talk. Then over the weekend they go out of their way to leave their kids with others, and spend full days together (I found this out later). When he came over on saturday he couldnt look me in the eye. I asked her if they were going places, she said "no, just talking". I asked him and he nervously told me they were.. he was scared, anxious, and shameful. He was shaking and couldnt talk to me. The only person left in the world I trusted she won over. She has fucked me over in every aspect of my life. What little trust I had in anyone is gone. It's not jealousy at all I hope you understand. It's her constant infiltration into my relationships with people. Even with friends, if you can't trust them you have nothing. Over the last 3 years I am not doing well. After her I had a handful of relationships, but now I can't meet new people, I don't work, I don't go out. I look like a drug addict from being underweight and lifelong anemia and malnutrition. I look like shit. Nobody can see beyond that in new relationships, you don't want to bring people who look like me into your lives. Maintaining what friendships I had left was important to me, and I can't do that anymore. Once the trust is gone there is nothing. I don't know what's going to happen, if this is just round 2 of picking up my daughter and seeing the only person I ever loved with my next best friend. My saturdays are gone, the only time people came over. I have nobody left except my daughter. But I can't take care of her if I can't take care of myself. I can't even think about her without crying right now. If I was healthy I could overcome this. But I'm not. My life is a cruel joke right now, Im sure many read this and laugh. Like it's just boohoo relationship drama, but it's not. The only people I have in my life will push me aside and torture me for their own interests. It sounds like something that happens in a trailer park in some hillbilly town. That's not the case at all, all of this is insane to me. It makes my physically sick. Right now all I can do is sleep. I don't think I will ever leave my house again, I don't want to see anyone, I don't know if I can come out of it. I'm not just down in mood, everything is so fucked up. I was just coming out of a major depression. I have willpower like you wouldnt believe, I had a good childhood to adult life, I don't live a in a depressive state. Even when I'm down I'm trying, I don't dwell in it. But now what. I have nothing to hold me up anymore, I can't deal with my health issues, I can't deal with my mental state, and I can't deal with my life.