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how rape a couple years ago still affects me

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I was 13, I was going on an overnight camping trip with a local rec group out on and island, so i meet this guy(we will call him Remington) who seems cool and nice but as the night progresses he starts acting weird he says, wouldn't it be funny to pull (we will call the third guy john) johns pants later tonight? and also told me about how he had snuck his switchblade along with him on the trip I thought he was joking cuz to be honest, i was naive and all thirteen year olds joke like that. so about an hour later i see him taking these perscription med that quite clearly didnt have his name on it and also said oxycodone. that should have been my first clue in to run or tell an adult. but later he actually went through with the pulling down johns pants, i was schocked but even more shock when he procedeedid to penetrate him,(the adults had padled back to shore to run to a store and grab some buns for dinner and left us alone) i told him to stop but he had told me before about the knife so when he told me to get naked i did out of fear. he proceeded to stop with matt then force me <Mod edit - guidelines>

i will never forget when i went to the er after telling my parents that during the rape exam when i overheard the doctor telling my parents <mod edit - guidlines> later during in an investigation, johns testimony was that i was an accomplice albiet a reluctant one but nothing ever came of the investigation and no punishment on anyone. a couple years later i am still affected by those events, i have came out as bi though i dont have a favorite gender to date. i have been intimate with guys and girls but everytime with guys and sometimes girls, i experience a flash back, so far no one can come to terms and help me out with my issue. i am confused, what should i do?
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Depressed in SF

Well-Known Member
Holy crap @kyledaanxiouskid I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't believe there was no accountability for your attacker either!

Keep your head up and lean on the folks in this forum, they're good people who are super helpful.

Hope you have a good day, hit me up if you ever need.
I was considered "normal" in a sexual way before but i feel like the stigma that victims shouldn't be sexually active after an incident really affects me, i feel like instead of those feelings being suppressed, they actually became amplified instead. it like my sex drive in a way became stronger. people look at me funny after someone talks about getting with me because they all know about what happend to me and they are kinda supporting the stigma. is this normal or am i just a freak? i want to be able to confront the people encouraginging the stig,ma and tell them the truth but to be honest i dont really know what it is. could you tell me if this is normal for victims of rape or not. thanks


SF climber
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I would encourage you to discuss your feelings with a counsellor.

Some rape survivors become promiscuous after it. So I think that yes a higher sex drive is normal.


Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Welcome to the forum @kyledaanxiouskid . I definitely agree with @Rockclimbinggirl about a councillor or therapist.
You mentioned that it happened a couple of years ago when you were 13, so you are still quite young. We can offer you support and want to but the real experts on this are the doctor's trained in this area of abuse and all that goes with it.
The fact that you were a minor when this happened makes me want to encourage you to get professional help as it will affect your development into becoming an adult and how you view yourself and the world and people around you.

Take care and let us know how you go with things. Also, may I ask how old you are now?


Well-Known Member
Yeah I hate that they put you through all the interrogating and rape exams and then they just don't ever fucking do anything to the rapists. That's fucking terrible. And it seems like no one ever wants to deal with it. They would just rather pretend that it never happened.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's all so terrible. And they should have fucking charged him since you were 13 to begin with and can't legally consent. God I hate our justice system.
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