How Suicide Effects Your Family

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Dave_N, Mar 21, 2008.

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  1. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    This is a video of a girl who lost her brother to suicide. I think everyone who is thinking of committing suicide should watch this. Suicide just doesn't effect the person who commits it. It has long and lasting effects on the person's friends and family. Please watch this video and see the pain in her eyes from losing her loving brother.
  2. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    This is my daughter in this video. The other girl did post a video reply, she decided she wants to live!!! They have become friends since and the girl is doing well.:biggrin:
  3. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    my mum almost killed her self, while she was going to the hospital, i didnt feel sad at all, i was happy!
  4. Ardo85

    Ardo85 Active Member

    Sure its sad to lose someone. Call it selfish, but I don't see sparing someone else's hurt feelings should be the sole reason to stay alive. Seeing as after your dead you can't even see their pain since you aren't alive to expereice it.
  5. thedudeabides

    thedudeabides Active Member

    not being able to see their pain as a way of justifying suicide is like shooting a person but closing your eyes when you do it. while i agree with what you first said about living in pain for others. that last bit has sort of a "if i dont get caught i didnt do anything wrong" sort of attitude to it.
  6. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Suicide is selfish, IF you do it without consulting those who care about you and explaining to them exactly why you are doing it, and accepting their help.

    Once this is done though, it is the OTHERS who become the selfish ones by insisting people live purely for their own benefit, disgregarding the suicidal persons misery.
  7. Lost Forever

    Lost Forever Well-Known Member

    sometimes when you're ready to speak, noone wants to listen to you, if one commits a suicide it means nobody can help him.
  8. diver200

    diver200 Senior Member

    It is the most selfish act a human can take. Remembering that keeps me alive. Most of the time, it is the only thing that keeps me alive. I love them all too much to do that to them.
  9. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    How many families/friends deal with a suicide and think WTF? If only he/she had talked to me! I'd think the majority of them. There are so many cases of people who off themselves without opening up to why. Therefore, the family and friends are left wondering ... Why? I wanted to help them!

    THAT is disgustingly selfish. A suicidal person owes a genuine explanation to family + friends of what is wrong. Then, if the family/friends still cannot help, they understand the situation can't be rectified ... then atleast they have closure. And then you have the right to do whatever you feel nessecary, if it's suicide to be it. They are the selfish ones for forcing the suicidal person to remain alive.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I have to agree SadDude. After Agnes (Lilichipie) committed suicide, I was contacted by her brother and he said that he and his parents were very upset that Agnes didn't come to them and tell them that she was suicidal, so that they could have at least tried to help her. Also watching the sadness in the eyes of the girl in the video I posted above shows the emotional scars that suicide does to a family.
  11. Ire

    Ire Guest

    Fuckkkkkkk getting help.
  12. bluewail

    bluewail Well-Known Member

    this just seems like an excuse for trying to guilt-trip people who are already feeling like shit. just my opinion.
  13. dayna

    dayna Anitiquities Friend

    how can one come to terms when all seems to be lost
    talking on deaf ears
    whats wrong with you they ask
    well what can i do they ask

    put me on drugs? lock me up? shock therapy?

    i would rather die
  14. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    I'd like to add that my daughter( in the video) was only 12 when her brother killed himself, my youngest only 8.

    Children usually can get on with their lives rather quickly after a loss, I did when my dad died when I was 9 . I miss him and still do 38 years later but it hasn't affected me like my son's suicide has affected his siblings.

    My children are not selfish, they just miss their big brother ALOT.
  15. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear about your son jofo. I hope your daughters are okay. Stay safe and take care. :hug:
  16. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    Thank you.

    My youngest is a boy and he does not like to talk about the suicide. He has even said " Can we just forget about it" . He's 15 now, dd in the video is 19 but can pass for 12, lol. She is very tiny but wise beyond her years..

    My son will be dead 7 years on Halloween. You can still see the pain in my dd's eyes almost 7 YEARS LATER. It never goes away. He may be gone but his suicide lives on in us.

    He did not leave a note and also took a BIG chance of myself and his 4 young siblings finding him hung in the basement. He didn't even think about that..But I lucked out and his step-dad found him instead before we came home from trick or treating..

    The video wasn't posted to put a guilt trip on those who are suicidal. But maybe like the girl my dd helped it can help someone else.

    You have to understand that this is OUR life now. Suicide ( the whys, what ifs) etc. is as common as coffee in my house every freakin day from the moment I wake up till I hit the pillow at night. Sometimes I even dream about it... Being a suicide survivor sucks!!!!
  17. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    From my blog on MySpace

    What is a suicide survivor?

    The term "suicide survivors" refers to families and friends who are left behind after a suicide has occurred. If you aren't a suicide survivor you may think this term means someone who has attempted suicide and survived. However, suicide survivors are indeed those who are left behind.

    What it's like to live in the aftermath of suicide..

    "Suicide carries in its aftermath a level of confusion and devastation that is...beyond description.

    Kay Jamison "Night Falls Fast - Understanding Suicide"

    Suicide creates a monstrous emotional upsurge of shame and guilt. Everyone participates in feeling responsible and even shamed at knowing the suicidal candidate. If these feelings are not healed the vampire of suicidal death can strike again and again.

    LINDA LEE LANDON, Life After Suicide

    Suicide is a whispered word, inappropriate for polite company. Family and friends often pretend they do not hear the word's dread sound even when it is uttered. For suicide is a taboo subject that stigmatizes not only the victim but the survivors as well.

    EARL A. GROLLMAN, Suicide

    I think suicide is sort of like cancer was 50 years ago. People don't want to talk about it, they don't want to know about it. People are frightened of it, and they don't understand, when actually these issues are medically treatable.

    Judy Collins, singer who lost son to suicide

    For many centuries, suicides were treated like criminals by the society. That is part of the terrible legacy that has come down into society's method of handling suicide recovery. Now we have to fight off the demons that have been hanging around suicide for centuries.
    Judy Collins

    In most cases, suicide is a solitary event and yet it has often far-reaching repercussions for many others. It is rather like throwing a stone into a pond; the ripples spread and spread.


    One learns to live with the loss, the tragedy, the waste, and the gaping hole in the fabric of one's life. There is no closure, nor would I want one. I want to remember him all my life, vividly: his laughter, the smell of his sneakers under his bed, his moments of joy, his humility, and his integrity. Unknown suicide survivor

    We can never go back. This 'thing' we deal with after doesn't get better. It just changes with time. We will be affected profoundly by this for years to come. It is not something that can be forgotten.

    Peter Greene

    As anyone who has been close to someone that has committed suicide knows, there is no other pain like that felt after the incident.

    - Peter Greene

    "Survivors are consumed by the "why" of suicide. We look for answers ... as if trying to unravel a murder mystery that we instinctively realize will never be solved"

    . "The 'real' reason dies with our loved one, and we are left behind — feeling helpless and guilty and ineffective — to try to put the pieces of an unsolvable puzzle back together"

    Michael F. Myers

    This statement by Evelyn Roberts, member of SOS Survivors of Suicide made me laugh...."membership in this group comes with a stiff membership requirement." --Evelyn Roberts,
  18. Mordred

    Mordred Member

    To get help, you say? From parents, from friends?

    Well, how exactly they can help? To send me to ward, where shrinks will wash out my brain?

    I'm sure, that if I let word "suicide" to come out, all the hell breaks loose. Even if they wish only good, they will do bad. And, it will only get worse.

    Selfish, you say?
    Don't you think, that for man who suffers every day, every moment of his life, death may be better choice. No matter that his surrounding wants him alive. They are selfish too - if they want the me to be alive just for them to feel comfort.
  19. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Do you really think all people live in a nice happy family, where rape, domestic violence, child abuse and gross neglect and abuse of emotional, mental and physical health doesn't happen- where family members just flock around to hear what a depressed and suicidal person is saying or not saying or can't say?

    If I killed myself I'd be giving power over to the people I have no respect for. I don't want to do that.
  20. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    No one said I come from a happy home. My family is as dysfunctional as they come.

    Btw I didn't join this board as a suicide survivor, I joined because I too am fighting the demons in my head just as much as you. As a survivior I am at risk for doing the same thing my son did. I'm also a cutter, self harmer & have been since my 20's. My son was also a cutter

    And yes I feel like a hypocrite when I'm trying to talk to others about my experience. But when push comes to shove will I be able to save myself. Idk.:sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2008
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