Hey lads, don't really know in which other (sub-)forum I should post this...
But there is a situation going on, where I'm about to lose a lot and gain nothing good any more. I just feel like I'm about to have very little to no freedom left.
I was picking up my life after the psychosis in 2007 and 2010. Was born with autism (PDD-NOS) and all of that. Got good medication that actually works now. It's not making me feel happy, but I can live my life at least. I'm outside of my house 5 days a week, socializing with friends & going to appointments etc. I'm very close to getting a volunteer job even, thanks to one of my friends I met. In my last thread I did describe how I was looking for new options & activities, both indoor & outdoor.
To help me get back on track somewhat.
Anyways, the situation is a complex one. My mother, I feel, is only after my freedom now. After a long series of very disturbing e-mails, text messages and phone calls... I don't see in any way how I can trust my mother ever again.
It's not that I hate her, I just think she's really developing an illness... mentally most likely. She's so obsessed with me and my life all of a sudden. I don't think a day goes by without another e-mail from her about me and my life.
In the end I had to block her e-mail address a couple of days ago. Because my mind does not need this kind of mental sewage from another person.
What she said the last time I spoke to her on the phone was: "You are crazy, you belong in a crazy house (directly translated from my language, Dutch), they should lock you up." And... "Just because you have autism doesn't mean that you can't have a good life. There are many people with autism who have a good life."
I think what's going on is... she's forgetting how bad the psychosis was for me and the after effects of that. She's forgetting how suicidal I was in 2010, 4 years ago. Of course I'm not my diagnosis, but the past has shaped my brain quite a bit. The anxiety is still there. The events that traumatized me, still haunt me now and then.
She has been talking to one of my mental health workers behind my back, discussing my freedom and wether I'm capable of making decisions.
I live with my father (parents divorced a long time ago), but he's outside the country now, he'll return in a week or so.
I'm like 100% sure that I'm not psychotic or even close to being psychotic at the moment. I would know, after having it twice for a long period of time... psycho-education, been in therapy since I was 12 so.
Just have no clue right now... Don't know who I can trust besides my father and my therapist/psychologist.
It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something. Or area 51.
Am I going ... crazy like my mom is saying or is there something else going on...?
Am I about to lose my freedom, will I be put in a mental hospital for the rest of my life?
But there is a situation going on, where I'm about to lose a lot and gain nothing good any more. I just feel like I'm about to have very little to no freedom left.
I was picking up my life after the psychosis in 2007 and 2010. Was born with autism (PDD-NOS) and all of that. Got good medication that actually works now. It's not making me feel happy, but I can live my life at least. I'm outside of my house 5 days a week, socializing with friends & going to appointments etc. I'm very close to getting a volunteer job even, thanks to one of my friends I met. In my last thread I did describe how I was looking for new options & activities, both indoor & outdoor.
To help me get back on track somewhat.
Anyways, the situation is a complex one. My mother, I feel, is only after my freedom now. After a long series of very disturbing e-mails, text messages and phone calls... I don't see in any way how I can trust my mother ever again.
It's not that I hate her, I just think she's really developing an illness... mentally most likely. She's so obsessed with me and my life all of a sudden. I don't think a day goes by without another e-mail from her about me and my life.
In the end I had to block her e-mail address a couple of days ago. Because my mind does not need this kind of mental sewage from another person.
What she said the last time I spoke to her on the phone was: "You are crazy, you belong in a crazy house (directly translated from my language, Dutch), they should lock you up." And... "Just because you have autism doesn't mean that you can't have a good life. There are many people with autism who have a good life."
I think what's going on is... she's forgetting how bad the psychosis was for me and the after effects of that. She's forgetting how suicidal I was in 2010, 4 years ago. Of course I'm not my diagnosis, but the past has shaped my brain quite a bit. The anxiety is still there. The events that traumatized me, still haunt me now and then.
She has been talking to one of my mental health workers behind my back, discussing my freedom and wether I'm capable of making decisions.
I live with my father (parents divorced a long time ago), but he's outside the country now, he'll return in a week or so.
I'm like 100% sure that I'm not psychotic or even close to being psychotic at the moment. I would know, after having it twice for a long period of time... psycho-education, been in therapy since I was 12 so.
Just have no clue right now... Don't know who I can trust besides my father and my therapist/psychologist.
It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something. Or area 51.
Am I going ... crazy like my mom is saying or is there something else going on...?
Am I about to lose my freedom, will I be put in a mental hospital for the rest of my life?