How things are now.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Oct 14, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    So it has been a while since I last posted on here. Thought i would write an update of where things have been going.

    So things are back on track with the bf. Well I think they are, things seem to come out of no where when things go belly up. I am still living at my parents and my dad is driving me mad. At least I still have the bf's that I can escape to. I spend a lot of my time here just to escape from their house. He drives me up the wall.

    I got my uni results from my degree and I got a 2.2. It was what I expected but I was secretly hoping I would get a 2.1 but at least I got a decentish grade. So that is the end of uni now. I was talking to my social worker about it and he said I had done really well considering what had been going on while I was doing my uni stuff. So now I am looking for new work. I am looking for support work for people with learning difficulties and mental health difficulties as I have decided I want to do a nursing course and work in adult mental health.

    So now I am on Mirtazapine pills 45mg. They are working but I hate the way they increase my appetite and I have put on weight since taking them. So I am not happy with them. I don;t know what to do as they have seemed to work. I have been feeling loads better recently and I am worried that if I come off the pills I will go back to where I was befre. I have made real big achievements as I have not cut or od'd in aboue 6 weeks now.

    What is freaking me out at the moment though is the smell. After I have been in hospital after an attempt there is this smell I can always smell which follows me around. No one else can smell it I asked my bf if he could. Any way if you look on after effects forum you will see there what I have written about it. Any way I can smell it again now. The past few days it has been there. I have a cold also so can't taste of smell normal things but this is there. It sounds weird but it really scares me. I don't know if it is something to mention to SW I don't know what to do about it really.

    So it is nice that things seem to be better. What I don't like though is the feeling that I can't quite let myself go with it as I feel it is just a good patch and I will go back to how I was feeling before.
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Hmm, I've not noticed that side effect with Mirtazapine. Mostly it makes me really sleepy and I like that. Perhaps there is a solution to the weight side effect. Ask your doctor; psychiatrists don't seem to like this for depression for some reason. They're trying to take me off it, but I like to sleep :(

    Parents are always unpleasant. I escaped good and proper. Maybe you could look into that.

    Isn't a 2.2 better than a 2.1? What grading system is being used? Also, in my experience, grades are worthless... I once had a 98% GPA, but now I don't care anymore. It's worthless.
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    No, the grading system is 1.1 (a first) which is 70% plus, a 2.1 (between 60-69), a 2,2 (50-60%) a 3rd which is basically just a pass (40-50%). Below 40% and you fail.

    All i needed was a 2.2 to do the course I want to do next so as long as I can do that. Just need experience. Seems as though grades are important for postgraduate courses which I am hoping to do as seems as though university is not as selective as it used to be and the entry requirements seem to be lower than what they were about 10 years ago.

    I will speak to social worker when I go see him next. I wonder if there are any appetite supressants I can buy over the counter?
  4. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on your results. Good luck
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Congradulations on your score. It takes alot of will power to keep attending classes when you are depressed. I am glad they have found something that works for you.
    If you are going to use an appetizer supressant make sure you talk to the pharmisit about possible side effects. I was on welbutrin for a while and it made me blow up like a pumpkin and it made everything taste like shit. I didn't stay on it long.
    Have you talked to your boyfriend about you moving in with him? If your parents are driving you up the wall then yes you do need a break from them. I made peice with mine last year because they aren't going to be around much longer. They are both in really bad health. My oldest sister has them living with them. So she has to do alot to help them out, then her husband has had 1/2 of both lungs removed due to cancer, and he has had three operations on his brain for tumors. So she really has her hands full.
    I guess I am saying don't leave on bad terms, just explain to them that right now you need some space and that you need a little independance to help keep you on the path you are on now. Good Luck and Best Wishes!!~Joseph~
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Thanks for the update. I am glad to hear things are going better for you currently. I hope it continues to look up from here on out. Take care and keep us updated. :hug:
  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Thanks for msgs people. I spose I did ok as I didn't actually go to the lectures. I am going to research what herbal appetite supressents there are out there as i don;t want to come off the pills as the seem to work. yay!
  8. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It's been a while so thought I would update.

    Things are going job. I actually work as a support worker in a forensic psychiatric unit. It's very good. Although I do worry about the scars etc on my arms. I haven't self harmed in 4 months myself now. Not to say I haven't had the urges as I do quite often. It is quite good for me working in the environment I do as makes me see that things can be worse and I don't ever want to go there. It makes me feel better about my life.

    I have stopped taking medication...although doc isn't aware as I have not been back. The social worker is aware and was not happy with me. I had to cancel my last appointment with him and he never made another one with me. I need to really. There are a few things I would like to dicuss with him and I rthink maybe now I am ready for counselling. I am not sure. There are times when I feel bad but I am coping at the moment.

    I have started a blog actuallly about my job. Please have a gander and tell me what you think on comments box.

    thanks people.
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