How to break up with somone who loves you....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Drew, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. Drew

    Drew Member

    I am locked in a relationship with a girl that has feelings for me, but....
    Sadly I feel nothing romantic to her, its rather upsetting. I need to get out of this, I can't hurt her by making it seem as though I am losing interest. Recently a male has come up that makes me feel like I'd prefer to be with him....wait...of course I do. However, the girl is a wonderful person on all counts, and I care about her too much to crash this relationship to a halt. I don't want her to see whats going on in my family, she frequently asks why I am so sad most of the time...I've told her very little. I don't want her to worry about me, she has too much on her plate as it is.
    What is the right thing to do?
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support


    This must be a very hard time for you. I'm sorry to hear about it.

    This may be blunt, and I apologize if it's too blunt.

    Hun, I don't think there's a way to break up with someone who still cares about you so that it doesn't hurt that person. I think that the longer you wait to break up with someone - no matter the reasons - the more deeply the person will feel that you lied and led them on. And that makes it hurt even more.

    Maybe if you explain that you "cannot" love her the way she wants and "deserves" to be loved, it will help. I know that if I were in the situation as your friend, I would appreciate honesty more than I would false hopes. At least in the long run.

    I don't know if I've helped. Good luck with this situation, sweetie!

    Acy :hug::hug:
  3. xighsequite

    xighsequite Active Member

    honesty is the best way to go

    There's nothing wrong with your reasons for wanting to be in a less serious relationship with her - you have a legitimate cause.

    Even if she doesn't understand, or agree, now, she will eventually. Just be sure to consider how it will make her feel, and do it in the way she would most appreciate. You can still be sensitive, while telling the truth.
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member


    Please tell me this is a coincidence...what is your girlfriend's name?!!