how to cope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AngelsEcho, Jan 1, 2011.

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  1. AngelsEcho

    AngelsEcho New Member

    my name is Echo, my partner my soulmate my En passed away early 2010. I cannot live much longer, i exist, i function but i do not live. it has not eased, not gotten better in fact it gets worse. I ache for something i can no longer have, someone who will no longer hold me, kiss me and smile for me. I no longer want to be here I want to take the chance that there just maybe more and if there isn't i have lost nothing but i have gained peace, i have gained a way to free myself of this pain and hury. When the date comes and i know the date i will be free from all hurt. For me there is no other way to cope, i am not even sure i want to cope. I know i will leave people behind who will be devastated but i just don't care.
    I would always be the first person who talked someone out of suicide, the rock to my friends,the heart to my family.. yet nothing is getting through to me i cannot find one reason to live
    sorry for rambling, i hope no one ever feels this way
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Your partner sounds precious to you.

    I have gone through similar feelings of loss and grief, but haven't been in your exact situation. I do know this though:

    Have you heard/tried of counselling for grief? Do you miss the comfort s/he gave you? If you do, I'm not sure if you've tried- what helps me is doing everything my partner used to do in terms of being held, for myself.

    One year is a very short time to process such a loss. It feels unbearable to you at the moment, which I hear. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with the right person might help you heal.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i agree with Plates it is too soon you are still grieving. Therapy will help you it will. You partner would not want death for you Your partner would want you to live okay not in pain or sadness. Do something that will commemorate your love one anything to honor him or her remember the happier times and continue doing the things that brought you both happiness. Hold on to supports okay. I know you say you don't care if you bring others pain but i am certain your partner would not want you to do that. Please keep talking here okay and get grief therapy to help you with your sadness and pain.
  4. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    As soon as you leave this world there will be people who most likely feel the same way as you do now.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Echo. I'm so sorry that your soulmate died. :sad: But it doesn't mean that your life is over. You have to move on with your life. I'm sure your soulmate wouldn't want you to end your life. Maybe one day you will fall in love with someone else? :hug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How are you today can you keep talking let us know I hope you reached out okay to get some help for you The pain sadness you will learn to deal with that and in time you will be able to move on but you need help Hugs okay
  7. AngelsEcho

    AngelsEcho New Member

    Today I feel okay, am in the process of baking and grinding my partners ashes so they can be mixed with ink for a new tattoo. My partner and I are/were both a little odd! Anyway he didn't want his ashes scattered in the usual way he wanted something different so i am trying to concentrate on his wishes rather than my own. so far so good. Thankyou for the kind thoughts people posted.
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss. However, you can have those feelings again. Just because you feel these feelings again, does not make your previous feelings any less valid. I know it hurts, but there is no reason another cannot make you feel the same way.
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