How to deal with chronic depression?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Joe1212121, May 15, 2009.

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  1. Joe1212121

    Joe1212121 Guest

    Hey guys I have had chronic depression since I was 7 years old and I really need some helpful tips, advice and feedback on how to deal with chronic depression. I have come to accept my terms the way they are but this long term depression is really having a bad effect on my health and really killing me. Its like a long term poison or curse placed on to me by others. I always feel tired, drained and completely put down. I am unable to do the things that I want to do because of this depression and it gets in the way of any thing which I want to do. I just don't know what to do anymore, I have tried exercising but after exercising I seem to always feel worst about myself and resort to masturbation and alcohol to make my self feel better. After I drink the alcohol or masturbate I cry alot about how sad and miserable my life is and how I do not have the strength to fight this depression and ask why god why do I have to have this long term depression and never feel well. I happen to also have have low self esteem and self confidence because of this depression. I take a shower since I find hot water helpful, twice a day but that doesn't seem to be helping me and only has a temporary effect. I am a boy in his 20's and want some help or anything to stop this chronic depression and help me take control of my life for the first time ever.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the Forum. You will meet some caring and insightful people here to offer support and advice. Personally, I will check back with you shortly and let you know what I've done to handle my issues with depression (it's just that I've got to tend to my sick mother-but I will be back)

    You're at the right place.
  3. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Joe,

    Have you spoke to your Doctor to see about meds or therapy?

  4. Joe1212121

    Joe1212121 Guest

    yeah claire I am taking meds and go see the shrink. But this depression is really killing me and I seriously have no idea how to defeat it and control my own life as a result.
  5. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    hiya joe,

    just wanted to say welcome to the site, i can relate to how i think your feeling, as when im at my worst, its like i dont even want to get out of bed, whats the point in putting in any effort :sad:

    i think what helps us one day changes the next and we have to be prepared to change with it, maybe try other thigns and see how they help.

    i find painting can be relaxing, washing my car or just walking somtimes helps to clear my head,,
    let me know if you find anything!
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Joe,

    If the meds aren't helping then you should go back to your psych & ask them to up the dose (if possible) or change the medication to another one. Sometimes the med you're on can stop working after a while.

    I know you say that you've been depressed for a number of years...has something happened recently making you feel worse or has the original cause of your depression ever been identified & discussed with anyone?

  7. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey Joe,

    I'm in the same boat as you. But the good news is that things are getting much better. This past year has been the worst in a while, but things are improving. The most important thing to help get through depression is to spend time articulating what makes you upset.

    If there's something that you feel really bad about...for instance I have lots of trouble over being raped as a kid.... then be sure to talk to people about what makes you so sad, grieve for it, and then accept it as something that happened to you , but something that doesn't have to solely define you as a person.

    Get out more, hang out with people even if you don't feel like it, exercise, eat healthy, and remember that depression is a state of mind being put on you. You aren't your depression and you won't always be driven by it. If your religious then you have that, but if not , like me, then take comfort in other people.

    Look at the expanse of space, look at pictures of tibet or india or flowers and cute animals. Try to embrace life and love. Cause the life only has meaning when you are connected. Its' hard to do when you're in the pits of despair, but something you can get past. And friends and family help quite a bit. If you don't have any, make em. It's not that hard, because the majority of people like other people. Remember you aren't alone.

    Laugh more
    Cry more
    Sing and exercise.

    It'll make you feel good.j

    Cut down on your drinking. I've gone through periods of binge drinking and it just continues the process of depression. Cut down to one cocktail a night.
  8. Joe1212121

    Joe1212121 Guest

    to be honest claire my depression is from an unknown cause or origin. I honestly cant tell you how I got this depression but I believe that one cause was me moving from my back country in to Canada becoming totally culture shocked and losing my self in the process this was around when I was 6 years old and from then it just got worst year by year and I never really overcomed my culture shock and that caused me to become worst. I have become obese as a result of this depression and always feeling tired doesn't really help and gets in the way of me exercising. I have increased my dose on my meds but they don't seem to help me.
  9. Joe1212121

    Joe1212121 Guest

    Thanks everyone for inviting me. And another cause for my depression becoming worst was I remember in high school grade 10-11 I really started liking this Italian girl in my class and I wanted to ask her out and somehow along the way I got so addicted to thinking about her that I was failing courses in high school and my life changed 360 degrees then. Just want to let you know at this time I diden't ask her out or anything. This girl was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen in my high school but she was one of those girls who was totally insecure and had a lot of problems and was a total bitch and to some point had problems talking to boys, she lacked a lot of self confidence and was totally insecure. Anyways this girl played around with my heart and feelings so bad that it almost caused me to be kicked out from my high school. The day when I asked her for her email in class she was like maybe I will give you my email I got so pissed off after wards and Im still angry to this day as to what was her reason of rejecting me, there is something wrong with me since I cant get over a girl I wanted to go out with so much in high school. Every time which I think about this girl which I still do I just want to grab something and beat the living shit out of it. For her to play around with my feelings really hurt I felt like someone stabbed me with a knife at the time and I still do. I know I should get over it and move on but this girl was something else to me and I really liked her, she was very athletic, very beautiful and very smart.

    Ever since anytime I try to get close to a Italian girl, I still have this bad luck. My problem is I love Italian girls and I cant get an Italian girl to go out with me. Its sad I know. But I really want a Italian girlfriend, is where I'm trying to get at. I don't want a fat Italian girl I want a cute brunette Italian girl. Bwt I am a cute guy myself. I know your gonna laugh but I just cant get over Italian girls.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi Joe,
    I don't necessarily think increasing your dose of meds can always help. I went from 20mg of Fluoxetine up to 40mg and all it did was make me feel sick. So eventually I weened myself off them altogether (I wouldn't advice this at all however!!).

    Things I have found very helpful are as some people have already said:

    Trying to find the route cause of your issues. I think you have already so far established a couple possibly there. The culture shock of your move and the obesity.
    You are in your 20s now you've said? Do you feel Canadian now or do you still feel like you are from the place you were born? Is there no chance to move back or are you attempting to settle into Canadian life now?

    The obesity is something I also struggle with. Saying to a fat person 'just exercise' will never work. Especially if you are depressed and hopeless and worse still if you use food as a coping mechanism or something to cheer yourself up, like I do.
    I have tried eating less and walking more, trying diet meds like Xenical and Reductil as prescribed by my Doctor and I notice as the weight comes off (slowly) I feel every more better about myself. Just take it one day at a time with weight loss, as it comes off it certainly does cheer you up and you start to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
    Do you have friends you can go walking with maybe? Or someone who will get you up and make sure you wake up, wash up and do a little exercise each day?

    Do you have friends or family you can turn to?

    Another thing I think that might help is group therapy. SF is very much like group therapy to me, being surrounded by people who share your experiences and can relate is fantastic. Doing it face to face with a counsellor can help a hell of a lot also, it helped me no end. Your Doctor might be able to recommend some local groups for you to try.

    I would also def agree that drinking and self medicating can often just make you feel worse, seeing as alcohol is a depressant.

    ps: Also the last thing you just said about Italian girls. Maybe being in a relationship would just hinder your progress. So forget about women for now and concentrate on getting better? You'll be a better boyfriend - in the long run - for it.
  11. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    If the increased dose hasn't helped then see if your doc will change to another med, like I said in an earlier post, sometimes they stop working. A lot of the time it can be trial & error till you find one that actually works best for you.

    You say you are obese & tired a lot, have you been checked for any underlying medical conditions, sometimes if we are unwell that can add to our depression. Have you ever discussed with anyone...friends/family about how the move to Canada affected you & how you're still trying to deal with that aspect of your life?

    I agree with desperateanddepressed that drinking isn't such a good idea, it just depresses you further. I also think it's more important to concentrate on you at the moment before you start to address any relationship issues.

    If you decided to register there are many other boards that you can post on, many members here share similar experiences to you & it may help to sign up & read/post a bit more.
  12. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    every second i live is torture. i try. i go to meet people -- i went to an astronomy club last night -- and i try to interact with them, and i feel nothing. horribly alienated existence.
  13. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    JOE12: I said I would be back to try and lend some thoughts based on experience with my own depression and actually it's already been said. It's a combination of changing meds. and therapy until you find the right meds. and therapist (at least that's what worked for me).

    Chronic and/or clinical depression runs in my family: father, mother, both brothers. I suppose my sister also has it, but she drinks to combat it and I don't think that's the cure in the long run. She claims she's not depressed, but I don't think she knows for sure, because she is rarely sober.

    For me, it is a combination of pain meds., short-term anti-anxieties and a lot of therapy. Also, I'm busy much of the day taking care of my mother so I don't have time to think about it much.
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