Empathy Only How to deal with early childhood bullying - feeling lasting effects at 24

[RedTerminator13]

Long story short, bullied from the age of 10-18, all throughout elementary and high school. I was the heel of every joke, picked on, mocked the way i talked, walked, dressed, acted you name it. And the worst part is I was always angry at home, shouting at my family without them realizing I was bullied and going to the school to confront the teachers or staff. I don't want to go into any more details but lets just say I couldn't manage my entire life and have been battling with severe depression. I thought I was getting a hold of it but I think it's getting worse and I would just appreciate some advice as to how to get over your past demons and to really simplify your life to focus on the tasks at hand. I'm really focusing on changing my career path and being independent so I can kick-start my life and have a focus on something rather than caring about being ghosted on a date or being rejected or some trivial things while my focus should be on myself and my journey. I don't mean to ramble on but I'd be open to talking further over messenger

 

[may71]

Sorry that you went through so much bullying.

I wonder if something like cognitive behavioral therapy might help you respond differently to some of your experiences. I think there are some books that you can get so that you can learn CBT on your own.

I hope things can get better soon

 

[RedTerminator13]

Thank you. I've been told about CBT through therapists but have never actually gone through it but I am seeking out counselling services now so maybe I will try it out now.

 

[may71]

Thank you

You're welcome!

I haven't read any books about CBT, but a member here has recommended "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns.

 

[Patafikss]

That's a very nice thing to reach out.
I can somehow relate to your feelings. I think you're in a very difficult period of your life, and if I do a parallel with myself, it's gonna be a lot of struggle.
Yet, this is something that can be dealt with. As you will seek advice at a counselling service, I don't think I can really do better than them.
What worked for me was mostly understanding. I tried to understand how it happened, how did the human nature made it possible.
What sort of very basic feature of the wiring of the brain caused a snowball effect that lead to this.
With understanding, I succeeded in forgiving all the wrong people did to me, and got over it.

I can only address you a look full of compassion as the path you're walking won't be pleasant for a while.
But looking the reality in the eyes and accepting it is a good way of moving forward. And it takes a lot of efforts.

I'm with you. May your wings grow large and the wind lift them up to the sky.