How to die or something

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ShyGuyDeluxe, Jul 24, 2014.

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  1. ShyGuyDeluxe

    ShyGuyDeluxe Active Member

    omg you might not understand.. This girl who told me she knew me since 2006 and I suppose she did (I'm never good with time,) she tells me she loves me more than her indian Boyfriend

    I sent her gifts
    then sent her a Wii U with mario kart 8 I bought her for 355 dollars
    I got an eShop coupon to help buy Nintendo games and I gave her it less than a week ago
    then her sister kept saying her boyfriend was gonna buy her a 50 dollars wii U game but the girl I like never heard about it then talked to her sister and says she sees now and her sister is nice she says
    so I bought her that 50 dollar game after I gave her the coupon
    and she told me BEFORE these gifts she would video chat on Wii U or talk on the phone to my mom about how she wants me to live with her and she'd break up with her boyfriend and be my girlfriend on Christmas day (she was the one that said the christmas day thing)

    now she says she won't video chat or phone call my mom about it unless she Owes me again from me buying her another game and told me 3 times she wants her Boyfriend to buy her Cave Story for Nintendo 3DS but didn't ask him yet
    I pasted my best friend, an online friend I've had since 2004, him saying she's just using me for money and she kept getting mad
    and she said Fine I'll video chat with your mom even if you don't buy me yet another game..
    then I told her my best online friend went offline (he probably blocked me again heh)
    and she said she changed her mind, she doesn't wanna talk to my mom any time soon even though she Skype video chats with her boyfriend that she says she likes me more than him

    I keep feeling suicidal from this girl.
    I'm sorry for sounding like such a pervert, but I masturbate a lot, how am I supposed to masturbate like this, I just went through not being able to masturbate to her from her being all blah to me recently, I'm sick of masturbating to ex-girlfriends and not-real characters, my brother's girlfriend told me to masturbate when she was drunk one time, so I won't be so angsty.

    and I don't care about the girl for just masturbation sexual purposes, she's the only one that likes the same Anime and nintendo games I like. I tried posting on Facebook about that stuff without her, and no one even Likes my posts, only that girl I like does.

    All I care about is the girl I like Nikki, and she used to say she'll video chat with my mom about me living with her, now she says she only will if I owe her again when I already spent my money buying her stuff, I have 10 dollars and something cents in my account and she wants me to get her this 10 dollar Nintendo 3DS eShop game and aaa

    finally I told her she can use my credit card even though I might be in debt

    and her boyfriend randomly messaged me saying bad stuff really bad stuff about me
    but she says she likes me more than her boyfriend and wants me to be her boyfriend on Christmas Day when I live with her in another state way far away from mine.
    She told me she'd video chat or phone call my mom and talk about how she'd like me to live with her soon,
    but now she says she won't do that unless she owes me from me buying her something, and then when I copy and pasted my best online friend saying she's using me, she said fine she'll do it anyways, then I said my best online friend went offline and she said she changes her mind, she's too shy to talk to my mom about it soon.

    I wanna die
    cuz all I care about
    is the girl I like
    ok don't do something over-the-top like somehow send me to a mental hospital
    but gosh
    I keep looking up ways to die and it says it won't work and don't try it and you'll just be in pain for 12 hours squirming
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2014
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    OMG walk away ok you are being USED and maybe you are blind by the emotions you feel for this girl but walk away ok listen toyour best friend who care for you
  3. ShyGuyDeluxe

    ShyGuyDeluxe Active Member

    heh gosh she changed her mind and said she'll do it ^^ after I told her I made this message board post
    man its so confusing though
    its as my counselar says, she has extreme highs and ups.. I mean she does take over 3 extreme anxiety etc. pills like Xantax
    I'm sure I'll feel down and feel like killing myself later from her being all blah to me and it seeming like she uses me
    she keeps changing @_@ blah
    she told me she likes me more than her boyfriend
    then her boyfriend said bad stuff about me and
    The girl I liked drew this, of her and her boyfriend

    but that was when she was annoyed at me, although she won't delete it and now she posted that drawing she did on another site too

    anyways she's fine with me now and making me feel all happy ^_^

    but every week on like Friday she'll suddenly just make me feel really bad
    I'll come back if she makes me feel really bad again, which will probably happen soon :X
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to say that it sounds very much like this girl is using you for your money and your willingness to buy her games. I doubt very much that if you cut ties with her that she would be bothered and the fact that she won't do simple things for you until you buy her something shows that she is just using you. Save yourself the pain (and your bank account) by severing ties now, there are plenty more fish in the sea. There are other women out there who will love you for who you are and not what you buy them.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Sorry but this girl is using you. Never allow yourself to be used or taken advantage of. Cut ties with her, tbh I don't think she would care, how do you know she's not using other's too? Your feelings for her are blinding the fact that she's using you.
  6. ShyGuyDeluxe

    ShyGuyDeluxe Active Member

    This girl kept telling me how she wants this boy I don't want her to be with, to buy her this game for 10 dollars, Cave Story on 3DS, and then like she KEPT MENTIONING it to me a lot!!

    I told her I'd probably be in debt if she got it with my credit card, I told her it 7 times (I searched my facebook messages to see,) and finally I told her that I'd probably be in debt if she gets the game, but ok she can get it I guess...

    and then I didn't expect her to, but she used my credit card info I gave her before from when she wanted it for the 50 dollar other game I got her this month with it, and she bought the 10 dollar game, and its the last thing on my bank history, except now I'm in debt from the minimal balance fee. I really am in debt from that!!

    I told her how I'm in debt from her, and she's just ignoring me and talking to everyone else instead. I don't have my monthly Social Security money, it just says I'm in debt, I hope that didn't stop my Social Security monthly money at all..

  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    She used your credit card info without your knowledge, hmm just wow. How cheeky. this girl is a waste of space and you will be so much better off without her. She does not deserve you period. You're too good for the likes of her. I do hope you can learn from all this and that the situation hasn't affected your social security payment.
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Why is it you want her to talk to your mom so much? Does she talk to you already? Can you skype with her, talk on the phone with her and stuff? If she will talk to you whenever you want, why buy her gifts to make her talk to your mom? To be honest I can understand if she has anxiety not wanting to talk to your mom. I would stop buying her things completely and save the money up for when (if she comes to see you so you can go do some fun things together and I would stop trying to get her to talk to your mom at all. If she stops talking to you when you stop buying her things then she is not worth your time. If she breaks up with her boyfriend and starts dating just you iut will be a good time to get her to talk to your mom.

    And please call the bank and cancel that credit card and get a new one that you do not share with her. If you said she could use it and just did not think she would there is not much you can do - but make sure she cannot do so again.
  9. ShyGuyDeluxe

    ShyGuyDeluxe Active Member

    Yeah, she used me, and now she again keeps being mean to me, so I blocked her once again.. I didn't block her instantly or anything...

    I was crying in bed about how alone I am. I miss my ex-boyfriend from when I did this stupid thing where I pretended to be a girl online to make my online game I created become more popular, I told him I'm really a boy and not a girl after being with him online for 2 months, and he freaked out and I've never seen him online since. Even if it was just cuz he thought I was a girl, I like how that guy always hanged around me all of the time.

    When I got out of bed after crying, my mom kept Harassing me (my last topic was about how my mom constantly harasses me hardcore) and then said "OK, Just go away and don't talk to me," as always, right after I was crying in bed about how alone I am.

    I finally post stuff on Facebook, cool quotes from video games (The world ends with you. If you want to enjoy life, expand your world.) and anime (Pancakes are too sweet, for the bitter pain in my heart.) and NO ONE liked it. The Space Dandy one a few weeks ago was finally liked by Nikki, the girl that just used me, but she's blocked now.

    I'm so alone.
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