how to do this without causing drama?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tia, Jan 20, 2012.

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  1. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    right now on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being death) i'm on 9....

    i'm stuck..yes i feel guilty about leaving family and friends...so i emailed one friend who moved to a different country..i had to email her before i do anything...now she's in a panic and asking me what i mean... i am not telling her exactly what i mean... i do not want the police or doctors called on me.. i dont want anyone to come here... i just want to clear this up and contact people who ive not seen or spoken to for a while so i dont leave them wondering "what happened to her" or "why didnt she contact me" so please i would like your opinions...is it best to email them or is it best not to contact them at all? which do you think would make them feel worse?
    ive thought seriously about this and have looked into it and i really do not want to cause any drama i want things to go as peaceful as possible


    thank you
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    If you write and tell them anything where they think you're going to hurt yourself, of course they will get upset. But if you don't tell them anything then they can't help. It's good that you are posting here, and I hope that you don't do anything to harm yourself.
     
  3. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    thanks, no i havent mentioned anything like this. they are just suspicious and i dont know what to say..i'm not asking them to help..they can't help me.. i don't know what to say...other than i love them...i want to apologize, too....but then they would know. i dont know.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You don't have to ask them for help, you can just tell them that you are feeling down and just need some support. I don't think that you should hurt yourself, I mean you don't know me but I do care. I think that everyone should have a chance to live.
     
  5. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    thanks for caring.. you are a good person. I tried, at least ...i'm just a burden these days..but i'm not scared... i'm at peace

    blessings
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sure you aren't a burden, I think sometimes we feel that way because of being fed up with life. I just hope that you'll think about things a bit longer before you make a decision.
     
  7. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you are at peace Tia :hug: I don't think your a burden.

    Trevor,
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't want to sound like I'm pushy or anything, I just feel really bad that you are feeling the way you do. I can't force you to do anything--no one can--but I hope that you make the right decision.
     
  9. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry.. I don't want to make anyone feel bad, at all

    you're right, no one can force me to do anything - apart from my psychiatrist who wants me in hospital and i can't go back there
    i cant take the pain anymore , the physical pain and the emotional pain, its been like this for 13 years non stop, one bad thing after the other, it slowly killed me and my soul now im drugged up on meds which the psychiatrists warn me to take, ive no feelings at all, apart from the deep dark depression..and more pain. my family dont care nor know half of it... all ive even known is abuse. i was an accident you see , right from the very beginning. every type of ab*** possible, continuing into adulthood. ive lost those who ive ever loved, and the ones left behind i am losing, as we speak. i cant stay here and watch that, id rather go first..because i know, either way, its just going to kill me. i cant watch it. my daughter is on the other side and i want to be with her. i used to be scared of death bt i believe in the afterlife through countless mediums (which is another long story) but quite simply, i cant face this anymore. i ahve death threats from the man who r**** me years ago...i never told anyone..not a soul... ive tried prayer, meds, counselling, therapy (every kind) and nothing.. im just one of them who is 'doomed' for life.. its made me miserable. the true me died a long time ago. something has walked into my body (it feels) and it has replaced me. my true self died and i just want to finish it.. i wanted to live and i had hope .. im just alone and this world feels like a lonely cold place. i cant see hope, my body is killing me .. i have an illness they cant diagnose properly. all of it...i just want out of here
     
  10. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I never want to go to a P-Hospital because I've heard lots of bad stories. I have family who want's me in one almost all the time... They want to lock me away as it would seem... Your not making anyone feel bad :hug: I'm very caring and I care about you even though your going through a difficult time which is understandable. No one can tell you to do anything... I also understand why you just want to be out of here...

    Trevor,
     
  11. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    thanks for understanding..it really means alot

    dont be afraid of them , i mean , they're not all that bad. i was in over 10 years ago but ive heard they have improved. good luck to you Trevor
    taake care of yourself
     
  12. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    Your welcome :hug: I'm here if you need someone to talk to. P-Hospitals haven't changed at all from what I've heard and read about. I guess the only thing they changed is the restraints policy. Which has been changed drastically over the years. Restraints are no longer a method used unless your physically a danger to yourself or others. They also have strict rules to protect you while your in restrains. You can only be in them for 8 hours during every 24 hour period... If you get placed in them they have to check up on you every 15 minutes. However, they rarely do that because my friends who've been there had bad staff's who just abandoned them. Not a place I want to go to anytime soon, I just don't want to get locked up not my form of professional help. Thanks I'll try to take care of myself ;-). If you need someone to talk to let me know by pm.

    Trevor,
     
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sorry, I didn't mean that you were making me feel bad, I meant that I feel bad about you wanting to end your life. It sounds like you've gone through some awful stuff and that's horrible, but you can't let people take all of your happiness away from you. If that guy is threatening you then you should let someone know. No one should be treated like that.
     
  14. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    Agreed with Christy you shouldn't have to be treated that way. I'm sure you'll make the right decision when the time comes. It takes a lot to make me feel bad, I'm just very sympathetic and care about everyone. I don't think anyone should suffer but that's how the world operates... Feel free to contact me at any time :hug:

    Trevor,
     
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