how to fight cruel egotistic parents?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by sunshinesblack, May 31, 2011.

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  1. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    so guess it runs in the family have another cousin just like me but older that is homebound cause hes parents could not fantom him existing unless he does anything other than great stuff, hes was not ment to have a ordinary job or life, he had to be extraordinary and was for a while till he lost it

    Youd think they have high standards and stuff and they do but for some reason it only applies to the kid, im not going to list all the dumb low things they do and the precarious conditions i was raised in but it makes me crazy angry the things they expect from me and the situations they put me in cause they r so alienated of their reality and the economic and social limitations we r in
    basically i was meant to be successfull artist and nothing less, regardless, of the local art mob, economic issues, health issues and social isolation

    Why r they doing this to me i dont know, cant tell if they r that cruel and psychotic or just mentally alienated am guessing a bit of bot
    and just dont know how to deal with it anymore, its so painful and have no one to talk to but them

    its like reality does not apply to me, i have to live in their fantasy bubble, if im ill its not real or worth careing about, guess only if im on my way in being a renownd artist or winning the lottery( though that is not snobbish enough) im worth their attention
    they make me gag , for real

    Just dont know how to deal with this anymore, my mom throws the few money we have an any shit possible but non of us are going to the dentist or doctor even though we all should, they r old and dont care and no one cares about me so its seam for me, they just pretend everything is ideal and fantasy, reality is not worthy of them, i want to kill them

    it triggered me today, i had a discussion with my mom and guess she just wanted to hurt me cause was talking about how hard it is to get a job here and she made it out it was the good thing to do to force me into art school, even though she knows it was torture for me and she knew what she was doing(most people r impressed to have such a fancy diploma but reality is its crap for me and it was for nothing since all jobs i ever got was on different field than my diploma, i already had art highschool to show im interested in the field) , i just cant live with this,
    i want to go in their room right now and shout at her and throw all the crap she buys out the window and funking kill her
    its like they love to torture with with they demented denial of me and reality its like im a puppet in they personal cathartic role play
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't know how oldyou are but when you hit 18 move away okay get a job do what you want and set boundaries up so they cannot hurt you or control you every again You do what you want then okay hugs
  3. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    not that simple at all, might have been if i was in a country like uk but am not
    im 24 but few jobs, left last one (and first attempt at job) cause i was getting harrased by old school mates and it made me suicidal
    my parents forced me in that art school crap and been with the same bullyes for all my life all isolated, never had any half decent human to talk to, people here r really spycho used to feel bad about myself like im stupid and stuff but the more i make scene of stuff the more i just want out of here and am embarrassed of the people i had to deal with,
    now wherever i try to get an entry job i find at least one person that knows me and gets people to harass me and i dont really know how to even act normal, never had a shot at normal guess no one is here

    id try a job in a different city but as i sayed im entry level and they dont pay enough to live on your own, maybe if id convince my parents to give me the same money they pay for me now and would have to live with roommates and not shure i could handle it, dont even know how to convince on employer im mentally stable enough nevemind having the required skills since univ was crap and outdated and i did not get a chance to talk to people that work in the fieald to get some tips
    Maybe it was easyer if i was not so alone but dunoo what to do now

    thanks for the reply thoguh
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    I know what that pressure feels like. Parents who have never achieved anything holding you to a higher standard, dumping all of their dreams and aspirations directly on to you in hopes that your success will validate their lives. ie, they did well in their minds if you end up doing well. That is the thought process. It's not fair to you. Not fair to anyone. It's hard enough achieving your own hopes and dreams let alone being burdened with fulfilling other's as well.

    As for moving out of the house and making a life for yourself away from them, just do what you can. Even if you're living with a couple roommates it'll be a better situation. That I can promise you. It might be a struggle, but it will be your struggle, with you in control.
  5. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    well it make me crazy angry cause they refuse to see they fail bad and embasasing
    and they forced me (also economic circumstance i guess) to go by their same perceptions and principals expecting different results but i had a worst start in life lifewise cause money was always an issue and now afcoures im a failure too and its all my fault
    and i have to live and pay for what they forced me in to or accept i was not ment to have a decent life and kill myself, and its triggering cause i feel tis what they should have done instead of haveing a kid
    Sometimes i fele they did it on purpose, like they deny society and everything thet does not fall in theyr ideal world, basically everything including me since im also part of reality and not a 100% comandable toy
    fele like they had to take it out on someone and i was most available, it makes just talking to them triggering, they talk to me like i deserve to be treated like the scum of the earth...yeat i have ot give back all the best, what kind of people r this , they make me so disgusted i dont even feel like eating and im ashamed of the way i let them treat and talk to me

    regarding the moving out am afraid tbh, i dotn trust myself, im scared for good reason of people, how do i know they wont live with my computer ? or take my stuff and kick me out? i left a job cause people made me suicidal there, but yeah sometimes i wonder what have i got to loose
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2011
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