How to forgive and forget?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by kulay, Mar 25, 2009.

  1. kulay

    kulay Guest

    Why is forgetting so difficult? At times, I feel like i'm so sure of everything in my life... and i'm in charge... then a thought and wham! back to my hurting again... sleep used to be a refuge, an ally... then like a creeping traitor, my dreams will start to haunt me... follow me even in waking hours. I hate myself... hate it when i caught me talking to me... hate me for the needing when I know that my needs will come back unfulfilled.

    We're doing fine, even happy sometimes. But the thoughts of betrayal always betray moments of almost-contentment, then i'll start hurting again.

    I can not forgive... I can not forget... I can't help myself... how can I go on when I can't help but feel like I died a thousand deaths?
  2. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter


    Sorry you feel this way.

    I could you tell us why you can not forget it, what is stopping you from letting it go?
  3. kulay

    kulay Guest

    Getting even.
  4. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    gettin even means you are hurting the other in a way that you are hurt right now..
  5. kulay

    kulay Guest

    Yes. I so very much wish I can twist an arm or hammer a leg... it's nothing compared to the pains she inflicted in me. I've lost so much because of the betrayal... a family that's almost mine and the trust i have for so many people I loved dearly. When I'm hurting, no asked if i'm okay and i can't help but be reminded of all the times i was there when they needed me. I loved and felt like I gave my all and still, it's not enough. I have to be betrayed by the person I loved most and the person who pretended to be my friend.
  6. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    Why do you stay..
    Why dont you find friends who treat you like you deserve?

    i know that is easy for me to say
    but why do you stay in the situation
    or do you wanna get out
  7. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Seeking revenge is a petty emotion; it's pride attempting to heal a betrayal. The best way to get even is to move on. And it doesn't seem that way, but empirical evidence in my life shows that ignoring people and moving on has been less detrimental to my standard of living.

    Sorry to hear you're having a tough time.
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey....relationships can be hard. and this sounds very painful.

    revenge, however, is a negative energy force that hurts only YOU. you destroy your soul from the inside out - when you seek revenge.

    when people do evil - it will return. sometimes bad things happen but it was not because someone CHOSE to do evil- for evil's sake. sometimes it is just fate.

    seeking revenge harms your psyche. instead you could try to live a better life, improve on your circumstance, perhaps you'll even meet someone and fall in love.
    life can change in an instant. don't let someone suck your positive energy away. . . . embrace your positivity and let your negativity die away with the failed relationship.

    not saying 'pat' phrases here. . . i have lived through this more than once -
    keep your heart open. xx
    pm if you want to talk . . . ((hugs)))
  9. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Brush it off your shoulder.