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How to gain a cats trust?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Mysticrose, Mar 1, 2018.

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  1. Mysticrose

    Mysticrose Well-Known Member

    I adopted a cat in January. She will run away from me if I get too close to her, she doesn't mind sitting at a distance from me sometimes and will sometimes sleep. She will come close to me if I keep giving her enough treats. I feel like I'll never fully gain her trust it's been about two months now, and I feel like I lost any progress I made with her from being in the hospital. She probably thinks I'll abandon her again.
  2. Gonz

    Gonz Well-Known Member

    Wait until it’s really cold. Lay an electric blanket on the floor for the cat to nap on (leave it on the lowest setting and keep an eye on her, if she claws at it at all you’ll have to take it away). Do this for a week or two. Then start sitting with the blanket in your lap.

    This worked, but I’ve only ever tried it with one cat so ymmv.
    Sunday16 likes this.
  3. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Seeker

    2 months is not a long time for a cat. Many of them are quite solitary creatures and enjoy being on their own a lot. You will just have to be patient and give it time and space, it will start coming to you. It's not unheard of to take 2 years for a cat to become adapted to it's surroundings and attached to it's owner. The electric blanket advice could work, and giving treats. The most important thing is to not try to force the situation in any way, the cat needs to come to you willingly.
    SBV24 likes this.
  4. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    My mother recently got a cat and she was the same way. She was stuck in a small room all day before my mother got her and didn't have much interaction with anyone at her old house. So for about three days she wouldn't eat anything then my mother took her to the vet and the vet gave her a shot. She started eating after that and now she plays all the time. But I am supposed to move in with my mother in a few months and she is still shy around other people besides my mother. I tried to play with her a few weeks ago but she didn't like it. So I would go to a vet if I were you if you can afford it. There are also suggestions online.
    Mysticrose likes this.
  5. nobodyknows71

    nobodyknows71 Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I have two rescue cats for the last six years. One took to us no problem, she’ll come and curl up on your chest and sleep for hours and she plays like she’s still a kitten. She was eighteen months old, her sister was three and still doesn’t come and sit with us. She’ll sit next me but not on my lap.
    I think it depends on where they come from. My two came from a house where they were never let outside or picked up, so neither of my cats let us pick them up, and there was about thirty cats in this house. I think my oldest cat has bad memories from there. She has anxiety issues and gets cystitis pretty regularly.
    She’ll let you stroke her and she’ll sit next to you which is great. And that’s the reward you get from having her but that has taken a long time. She hid behind the sofa for at least a month, only coming out to pee and eat.

    Cats are independent and it will take time, you just need to persevere.

    Good luck
  6. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I just vote on keep feeding it treats. Cats are whores, they just want food.
    AsphyxiateOnWords likes this.
  7. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    There is a pheromone spray. It's used to soothe them. How do you give her the treats? Try tuna. I started that way. I put the pot every time a little closer.
  8. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    U also might try getting on the floor and see if it will be curious and come near u. Let it sniff u etc without pushing it too much. This really helps a lot with bunnies. Being on their level since it isn't wanting to jump up where u are at yet seems to help a lot. Just try laying on the floor for a while and it will probably approach u sooner. And of course the treats and time. It will come around.
  9. drinty

    drinty I'd rather be a Cat.

    It may depend on the breed of cat she is. I have a half brisish blue half moggy cross and he doesn't like to be picked up. He will sleep at the end of the bed but only in the day, at night he will sleep downstairs in the dog bed, he likes to be in another room from everyone else, he will rub himself on your legs to be stroked but only if you're on the loo hehe. I was told Animals don't actually need physical contact to feel love, sitting near them is enough :) I used to think my cat detested me, he is nearly 4now and is getting friendlier every year, but he still won't let you cuddle him. Boo hehe.
  10. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If was never in captivity- was feral as kitten and then "captured"- getting close is as much as may ever get. More will be a process of years not weeks or months in my experience. Even domesticated cats turn "wild" if not handled as kittens/ socialized at very young age.

    While I am sure it would be nice to have the type of cat that likes to cuddle and purr, there is something to be said for a cat this slow to warm up to you and is a "project" that actually takes time and effort so you feel like it is "you" that earned the trust - because it will be you that earns it slowly over time. I think the satisfaction of getting something that is basically wild to come to accept you is as nice and heart warming as a cat that happily walks up to just anybody that cares to scratch its ears or feed it. You will know it likes you as well as the scratch or treats then. Good luck and just be patient, try most anything, but ultimately patience and persistence will be the winner. :)
    Alwayswrong likes this.
  11. HumanExMachina

    HumanExMachina Pizza Spaceman Forum Pro SF Artist SF Supporter

    Speaking as a crazy cat guy, I can tell you how to make any frightened little kitten, or grown cat, love you. No, not with treats, although that helps, later. What you need to do is get down on the floor in front of wherever he or she is hiding, and wave one of those stick-string cat toys around. The ones that have a mouse or something fluffy attached to the end. Roll that thing around on the floor for awhile and your scaredy cat will overcome her fear and eventually start chasing it around. Because the cat brain can't help it, it's transfixed by it, just like the human monkey brain is transfixed by car chases and explosions.
    SBV24 and Alwayswrong like this.
  12. Paisley

    Paisley * * * SF Artist SF Supporter

    Blinking slowly at them shows that you're not a threat. If they do it back, it means they feel safe enough around you to close their eyes for a few seconds without feeling like you're going to attack them. If it doesn't reciprocate right away, that's fine, just keep doing it every so often. Like other people have said already, it's definitely a slow process no matter which way you go about it.
    Sunday16 likes this.
  13. Lady Wolfshead

    Lady Wolfshead Trying to re-dream my dreams

    I have two Ragdoll cats and neither of them is a lap-sitter but they will sit beside me and let me pet them, and purr. Not every cat will sit on your lap and it doesn't mean they don't love you. I agree get on the floor with her. Let her sniff you a lot, play with her. When you reach out to pet her, bring your hand up to her chin or to her cheek, not straight at the top of her head which can seem threatening. Most cats can't resist a chin scratch. Definitely if she narrows her eyes at you, it's a sign of trust.
    SBV24 and HumanExMachina like this.
  14. HumanExMachina

    HumanExMachina Pizza Spaceman Forum Pro SF Artist SF Supporter

    Yes, this is true cat lore. And also, even if your cat doesn't immediately become a lap cat, it doesn't mean that she won't eventually. My current little guy took a full year to become a lap cat. Now he gets royally pissed off if he can't be purring in my lap at all hours of the day. You just have to be consistent in how you treat them. If you're always loving, always gentle, always playful, they'll come around.
  15. Egg119

    Egg119 SF Supporter

    It took one of my rescue cats about a year before she'd let me touch her even at arms length, but she was fine with my partner almost from the start. We came to the conclusion she didn't like men for some reason. Eventually she'd come and sit on my lap and let me fuss her, but if I made any sudden movements she'd run off. Jackson Galaxy is a cat behaviourist, I find him slightly annoying, but he has some good ideas. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCheL-cUqfzUB8dfM_rFOfDQ
  16. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Have owned several cats in the past along with raising barn cats/fostering. Currently am on owner of an early generation Bengal, wild as they can come she is not a lap cat she will come on her own terms. She is wild if she wants to be and another one is an American Bobtail, sweet as a pie.

    Each cat has their own personality. Do not try to approach the cat. Be patient. Really. Allow the cat to observe your daily rountine without approaching it. It actually watches/studies you when you are asleep.When it decides you are not a threat and will not approach it repeatly it will start to be more visble take it very slow. Set its food down leave it toys to play with by itself and set up cardboard boxes as a hideaway zones in different room so it can observe you and feel safe at the same time.

    Cats are creatures of habit. They will appericate you setting out fresh water, cleaning out their litter boxes, its food bowl having food in it and know your schedule. Just time and patience is the key here.

    Good luck with the cat
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