How to get help in a Crisis?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by davidIce, May 5, 2015.

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  1. davidIce

    davidIce Member

    I read so much about trying to get help but am at a complete loss as to how to achieve this. I went to my GP for depression 5 years ago because I felt really bad that things were going out of control and I was very upset. From my perspective they treated me like depression was as illness and that if I were not depressed then I would somehow be able to solve my problems. Yes the antidepressants did make me feel better for a time - but the underlying problems remained and now after 5 years of trying stupid things and getting nowhere now I feeling I am in a terrible nightmare with no way out. There is a huge rift here - I agree some people can be helped by antidepressants and find a way forward in their lives. Sadly I do not think they recognize that others have severe problems that are going to be challenging to solve. This category of person is just passed from pillar to post and eventually their mental state collapses all together. I will give a sort of example. I had one proper friend in my life who develop schizophrenia in his 20s. Early on in the 'illness' he managed to get a job as a waiter at Little Chef (if you remember those). He stuck it out for 3 months and was just beginning to make friends their. But the work was 10 miles away and he only had a bicycle (there was no public transport) so he gave it up. After that he went from bad to worse - became obsessed with jumping out of windows from high places and 18 years later broke his neck. He was from a well to do background and they thought this job was of no importance. But actually it was the high point of his life and just maybe if he'd had more support at the time - perhaps his parents could have bought him a moped - just maybe the course of his life could have run a different course. I know I am losing touch with the real world - and suspect there is no way back - so am really thinking its time to end my suffering. I see getting help as people preventing the 'crisis' and stopping you harming yourself. But then they just leave you in the shit so almost certainly you end up in the same situation. There seems to be an obsession in making people do things for themselves - sadly it was quite evident that Edward (my friend) was the kind of person who was never really going to be able to cope with life - but that did not mean that with support there was not a meaningful role for him in the world.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you lost your friend and i agree with continue support in his life it would have made a difference. The job would have given him a purpose a way to connect to others.
    I also agree when someone is ill that sometimes they will need that support for life. I do hope you can reach out to your community for that help as it seems the medical professionals do not not understand totally what it is like to be so lost in ones mind. The community care people who come in to see you every day help you with living that is a way to get out of darkness some talk to doctor about it ok see if that support could help you
  3. davidIce

    davidIce Member

    Having spent years and years trying to socialize but never making a connection with other people its really quite difficult for me think that next time its going to be different. I have said that I am on the autistic spectrum / Asperger's. I have learned a kind of sham of socializing where I can pass in a crowd - but still end up feeling like an outcast, I can make the right response - well most of the time - but I don't know why its the right response - and there is no feeling of being myself. If I relax and try and be myself then I hurt and confuse other people as my way of thinking seems so different to other peoples. It is very easy to fall in the trap that it is safe to tell the truth - I have made people burst into tears through being what other people would regard as insensitive. But thanks for responding and for you message of support - it means a lot to me.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, davidIce. I'm sorry you lost your friend. The right help and the support of family/friends, many people do much better and likely your friend would have. How sad that he didn't get that. I'm glad you were his friend though - you cared a lot and that shows in what you've told us.

    I just read the second post you made above. I believe you are an impressive person - you show so much courage in going out and socializing even if you aren't comfortable doing it. That takes a lot of personal courage!

    From what you said, you seem to have learned some good social skills and can get along, but you don't always understand the social "process." I wonder if you could find someone like a personal coach or life coach just to talk to about some of the situations that come up where you know what to do or say, but not "why." The person could maybe help you see patterns in communicating and relating and then role play different scenarios with you until they become a sort of habit. (I've also heard of autism spectrum people being taught how to decipher tone of voice and body language, too. A coach might be able to help with that, as well.)

    I see that you are in the UK. I googled and found the UK National Autism Society website. They have a "social groups" section that might be available and of interest to you. Their website says, " We also offer social support at many of our support centres, or you can browse below to see if we have a social group in your area." It might be worth seeing if there is a group near you. Here is the link:

    I hope you keep reaching out irl and to us here. Maybe if you have questions about social situations, you could put them in the Let It All Out section of the forum so others can give you feedback that might make communication/social situations clearer for you. Keep us posted. :)
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