I've read a lot of other threads talking about help and so on, but how does one actually go about getting the help? I don't know who to go to, to actually get the help. I've been classified as 'depressed' since grade 6, and its only gotten worse. In late grade 8 I was getting 'help' and diagnosed as sever depression, and suicidal tendencies. And still, its only continued getting worse. Two nights ago I considered killing myself again, (I already tried once, luckily my throat closed up and I just ended up vomiting for hours. My parents didn't notice, they were out, and still don't know.) I don't really want to die, because I know it would . . . displease others. I know things won't last long at this pace, but at the same time, I don't want help, I just need it. There's only one person who really knows about any of this, and even so, I haven't told either of them about recent thoughts, in fear they'll get worried, or... really, I'm not sure why I won't tell her. My parents have no clue, I s'pose I hide it well, and I blame my random/strange, unpredictable sleep patterns on growth, and my eating, I'm not sure, they just think I don't eat a lot. The only times I really see them is for meals anyways. Neither, do I plan on telling them. Both my sisters are doing very well (in university and so on), and always have been. They were my mothers children, and now after the divorce, my father is taking care of me. I, realistically, have a great life. As far as everything goes, I should be one of the happiest children out there, but I'm not, which disturbs me even further. So, I feel as though my sisters would look down on me, and what not if they found out. I don't think they'd handle it well. I tried going to my doctor before, who said she didn't think there was a problem. But then again, my doctor is useless, I didn't expect much more. I did, however, convince her to give me a therapists information. I tried going to him, and never told my father what it was for. I think he just thought it was school problems, for it was about this time I was losing a lot of my friends over my drug addiction, which he also has no clue about. The therapist didn't make me feel any better, in fact, a lot of the time he made me feel like an idiot. I stopped going to him shortly after I began, and I saw a few others, but none seriously because I didn't find any of it helped. I've tried taking my friends prescriptions, but that only worked for a short time, thanks to the ... substances - Prozac is now useless. Clearly, in some fashion or another, I need help in some way. Any ideas on how would be greatly appreciated.