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How to have a peaceful mind?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by morfea, Oct 14, 2009.

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  1. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    This question follows me all my life, in one form or another. A discussion with a friend of mine here got me thinking - Will I ever have it, in this life?
    So many questions in my mind and I feel I can't achieve the peaceful mind because I can't seem to find the answer. Just when I think I got it, another question pops up.
    Being a skeptic the question from a zen master Hakuin "Is that really so?" summarises it all for me, only I realize that if used excessively it could miss the point, I seem to ask that myself about everything and all the time.
    Why do I need to get the answer in order to have a peaceful mind? I suppose because when the train of thoughts and questions start its journey I know where it will end. And I don't like where it brings me, not so much because of me, I'd get off that station right away but there are others who are still my responsability and I can't leave them yet. I feel the answer would stop the train before that final station and thus stop me from getting off.
    There are other ways as well to achieve that peaceful mind, or so they tell me, beacuse chemistry just doesn't seem to work for me, never being my favourite anyway. Natural chemistry, well that's much better, but I really can't be drunk all the time, wouldn't look very nice at work or kids' PTA meetings.
    Awareness and focusing on the present moment, now there's something interesting, I tought when I first read about it, still do. Meditation too. Very nice but takes years of pratice, and I don't mind that, but those moments when I don't practice it or forget about it, the train starts again, and I haven't reached that point when awareness becomes an integral part of my everyday life, of me.
    Laughter, I especially like this way of calming the mind lately, but sometimes I feel I overdo it, become either cynical or silly, maybe it shouldn't bother me beacuse I don't have a problem with it myself, it's more that old question - OMG, what will the people think of me now? People around me are just not used to see me like that, never been talkative or jokeative.
    >Identifying what hidden assumptions you're clinging to is actually the hardest part of whole process.<
    Hopefully after 20 years or so of meditation I'll identify them. Yes, I'm cyinical, but there's even a worse one : "After a year of therapy my doctor said to me - Maybe life isn't for everyone." Who knows, is that really so?
  2. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    Familiar with the expression: "Silence is a sign of confirmation."? Not sure if this is correct in English.
    I wonder why nobody replied to my thread, it's been here 2 days now.
    You think it's true: >"Maybe life isn't for everyone"<?
    Nobody finds this interesting? Nobody ever wondered abt it?

    I almost led myself beleive there's some sort of trial period on this forum, first people have to get to know you and then they start replying (if it's true just let me know how long that period is:).

    I got many replies on my first post in Wellcome forum, but then 3 replies to my 2. thread, and none to this one.
    I also asked questions on other 2 threads several days ago and no replies.
    I know I'm too sensitive, even considered of quitting the forum, had to remind myself, as usual, that nothing is as bad as it seems to me at first, but I do wonder, why no replies?
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    In answer to your main question - "Maybe life isnt for everyone". Id like to mutate it a bit, and ask "Maybe the life we lead now isnt for everyone". I just think there are more ways to live than people realize and we try to mold ourselves into a straight jacket cause its easier. I think a lot of people are trying to live a life that isnt suitable for them. A lot of examples of this with careers, families, hanging around certain people...whatever. A lot of people just afraid to be what they want to be without the shackles of family, friends and society having a huge amount of input in that.

    I think there is a life to live for most people...just creating the right one for yourself is the trick.
  4. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    Wouldn't it be nice if there was a country just for people who feel they don't fit anywhere?
    just a thought from a lonely, tired person who can't seem to fit anywhere but on the net, sometimes not even there:confused:
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I think there are a lot of people who feel like they don't fit in but they don't say it. I use to try new things in my efforts to find a solution.

    A friend once told me to find my center. This is the place where I talk to myself. I can talk to myself about what I want (that I can realistically have) and with that conclusion, I take care of my needs within that framework. To thine own self be true.

    My goals are small, depression keeps me from doing much. I get discouraged but I do my best to do what I can do and not dredge myself through the agony of focusing on what I can't do.


    Sometimes a post will get down further on the list when there is a lot of activity and can be missed by others. When that happens, reply to it to bump it up to the top again.
  6. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    I have just only discovered that talking to myself doesn't mean that I'm crazy. Only problem is that there are days when I can hear only my complaining voice, the one that tells me nothing's worth living for, the other voice gets scared and hides I guess:) But I'm trying to make it less shy and speak its mind too.
    Not only that, I'm discovering how helpful it is to talk to my dog, those who don't have pets often think that's crazy too, but wth, as long as it helps I'm trying not to care what others think.

    btw,thanks for the tip Chargette:)
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