how to help my friend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Självmord, Jun 21, 2012.

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  1. Självmord

    Självmord Active Member

    My friend really needs help, she's tried to commit suicide before and I'm practically the only she confides in now, she takes anti depressants and talks to someone, but as soon as she stops taking them she goes back to wanting to die, I've been sitting for hours now trying to help her (and contacted her parents so they keep an eye on her right now) . But she still won't want to fight to live because she sees no reason - what else can I tell her but that she has to create her own reason - but she still doesn't want to and says it's always the same with the anti-depressants and I must say she's very unstable when she does not take them and that it'll take her forever to see their effect.
    What can I do to help her?
    And I know it's individual how long it takes before anti depressants help, but it has to in the end doesn't it?
  2. EisNayk

    EisNayk Well-Known Member

    not all people react the same to the drugs as well. for me it turns me into a very cruel sadistic individual. not a very good thing. most people it does tend to help but sometimes it helps to have someone to hold you and cry with you. she is hurting in a way you most likely will never understand when your feelings flow out of control it can manifest itself in physical pain. when your depression thickens you lose sense of feeling and pain and fears just go away which makes it easy for most to cut or cause self harm. the pain she feels is a mixture of your mind playing tricks on you and your body reacting with real pain as a nervous reflex.

    try spending more time with her try to find out her favorite things to do and encourage her to do them try to participate with her as well. I will also warn you that if you are her best friend do not ever abandon her the loss would likely be to much for her and she would kill herself. a lot of the time physical contact can really do wonders hugs and letting her cry while you hold her.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2012
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Medications can be tricky. I personally do not like the use of them for people, but I do realize that for each there is different situations and circumstance. As stated above, different people react differently to the drugs. For some, it is a life saver and helps them find a path to wellness. For others, they work negatively - though often that is just because the right drugs or the right mix or volume has not yet been found for them. It's unfortunately a lot of trial and error for each individual. That said, medications are usually just a band-aide and wellness comes from far greater things than drugs. Many depressive type conditions are the result of chemical deficiencies or imbalance, and the drugs often can compensate that. Sometimes they may need to be used forever, while other times they just help provide a stable situation from which other methods can take effect on their own. In most cases, it can take a long time for medications to start showing any positive results - especially if changes are being made with them to pinpoint just the right ones and mix.

    In your situation, if you are concerned greatly for your friend and you feel there is a danger, you have to decide at which point your confidence will need to be broken. If greater help is needed, then sometimes we unfortunately have to reach out... even if the person does not want that. It may make them hate you, but I would rather be hated by a living friend vs. being loved by one no longer living.

    Only you can decide if that is necessary or not. In the meantime, provide the moral support and encouragement. Have the understanding and empathy to help them through hard times.
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