how to help someone when you are down yourself?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by the masked depressant, May 10, 2011.

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  1. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    someone asked me the question yesterday, how cqan you give advice to people who are down, if you are down yourself?

    i didon't have an anser, and i'd thought i'd ask you all.
    how do you all give so good advice to other members, when deep inside you are hurting?
  2. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    No clue. I try to only reply to people asking for help if there is a specific thing they're asking that I think I can give some sort of advice on. But then again, sometimes I mistake their meaning and say the wrong things anyway. It's really hard for me to respond to a lot of the cries for help here because, in a lot of ways, I agree with whatever the person has said and I want to say, "you're right, there's no hope". That seems like the wrong thing to say so I don't say anything. :unsure:

    I guess the best thing to do would be to avoid writing anything that will make someone feel worse than they did before they read your reply, as best you can. Do no harm, etc.
  3. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    That's why I'm absolutely terrible at giving advice. I always feel like a hypocrite because I can never take my own advice but then again, different things work for different people and just because I can't really take my own advice doesn't mean that somebody else won't find it useful. Also, sometimes just helping people in turn makes me feel a little bit better as well. Hmm...maybe that could be my true calling.
  4. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    that's me as well, tyler.

    i often agree with a lot of the stuff said here, but again.. you kind of have to stop, think of what you're gonna say- and then write it. that's what i do

    i try and be nice to all the members, and honest- i think it's important
  5. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    For me I tell people what I think I would like to hear when I'm down. The people that go through what you go through are the absolute best support because they know firsthand how you feel and can pass on what helps them to feel better.
  6. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Same here. I know how they are feeling, so I say what would make me feel better. Mainly people just need to know that someone is there and listening, someone who actually cares about you and what you're saying. Even if it's a stranger on the internet.

    It's all completely hypocritical of course, but that doesn't matter to the other person. For some reason, the fact that you may not take your own advice is irrelevant. It's just important that you care enough to try to help.

  7. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    its a form of therapy...we can all relate our own experiences ideas, whether we follow our own advice or not is not important as we would all be full of the joys of spring if we did that.

    i can detach very quickly and suddenly, and disassociate from my own reality and feeling of it can make it easier to distance yourself and think outside the box so to speak. if that makes sense.
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Yep, sums it up for me to.
  9. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member


    And yeah...I basically tell them what I'd want to hear. And even though I'm down, I know that I would want support, and so I want to give it out to others in the off-chance that it makes them feel better or it helps them in some way.
  10. MLKane

    MLKane Well-Known Member

    Basically I take what I feel, and push off from that. I say what I'd want to hear, I'd try and turn all the brains that have been useless to me and try and make them useful to someone else. In the end it makes me feel worse, especially when it's someone I know and am comforting irl. But if I didn't do it, then I'd hate myself anyway, so in a lose-lose situation you pick the one which helps the most people right? Sometimes I'm literally on the edge, thats when I cut off and give up, but right up until then I keep trying. That's just how I decided I'd live my life, and I'll stick to that until it kills me.
  11. Push

    Push Well-Known Member

    For me it's because I care about other people so much more than I care about myself so that helps me try to help them. I hate to see people hurting and I think it might help someone else just to know that we have felt the same way and gotten through it.
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