How to low my expectation?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by trinisty, Mar 7, 2015.

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  1. trinisty

    trinisty Well-Known Member

    Hi, I've been struggling for a past few days because I remembered something that I shouldn't.

    I have a bad habit, I have stupidly high expectation, and often those expectations ruin my life within seconds. Optimism is great, but being a too optimist person is probably the worst thing ever. It's like every seconds of my life never fits my expectation, and it's making me feel bad about myself. I kinda lost trust for myself, because I really don't want to listen to my inner voice again, I don't want to expect... anything from anyone. High expectation is like a deadly drug for me... it is making happy at a short period of time, but for a long period of time, it's going to kill me.

    I don't have a perfect life, and I realize that, but it seems my optimism doesn't want to do that. I always imagine perfect scenarios in my head and of course... it will never happen. At the moment I realized that, my heart felt horrible. I don't wanna die, I still wanna live in this world.

    Thank you. Have a great day!
  2. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    Hello Trinisty !

    I am very touched to hear that you feel sad and especialy that you feel bad about your expectation.

    I wonder.
    WHenyouread that what youwant to say is : don't low your expectation but rise your way to see what you get.
    Is it that easy ?
    Probably not so I won't be able to give you any answer.

    Expectations area really tricky especially if there are other human involved.
    Sadly we often learn the high way how much people we can trust are a rare thing.
    But it exists.
    Maybe you don't have to low your exepctations but chose them more severly.

    But optimism reaches its goal more often than pessimism.

    But we also have to learn to let go the thing that went wwrong for they probably weren't good for us. Which is why it didn't happen.

    Take care of you !
  3. trinisty

    trinisty Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying!

    I met my psychiatrist today and I feel better now. I still have this mixed emotion about optimism and pessimism... it's like I don't have a trust to try again. Maybe time will soon ease down my pain, but hopefully my expectation isn't going to kick up and waiting to destroy me once again.

    Love you.
  4. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    You know who lowers their expectations? failures. Such a harsh sentiment, but, only you get to decide what goals you reach. You're also the only one who can decide what those goals are.

    You want to know what I've learned? I don't give two f's about what other people feel "success" is. Only I can decide that. Now replace "I" with "you"

    I think we tend to misunderstand optimism. It's not feeling like something good "can" happen. It means we know what we want. It's a primary idea, not a step. You feel optimistic? Ask your self what it is that feels good.

    A nice car makes me feel optimistic. Will that get me one? No. But, I know it's what I want. It's my mind telling me what I need to work towards. From there, it's baby steps. It's the daily choice to move closer to that goal. How do I get that nice car? I save money, how do I do that? I manage my money. How do I get it? I go to work.

    The feeling of optimism is just my mind reminding me that, through all the grind. It will pay off. It's how you know where your life is meant to head. Keep your expectations up, who the hell said you don't deserve the best? Does that person have it? Or are they just hoping you won't get something they gave up on?
  5. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    I don't think that's the real official definition of optimism but that is certainly is a nice perspective to read just the same.
  6. SilentLegend

    SilentLegend Member

    I'm dealing with this too, and what I am doing is I am trying to be thankful for the simplest things, that will lower all expectations.
    If you are thankful for the smallest things then it doesn't matter anymore what happens.
    Then everything becomes a gift.
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