how to make it a little easier for mom

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by picamon46, Jun 3, 2011.

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  1. picamon46

    picamon46 Member

    i have my when where why and how all set, how do i make it easier for my mom, i want her to enjoy her life, i don't want to be a bother to her anymore
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Sorry man, not gonna happen. A mother tends to respond with shock and horror when her child kills himself or herself. This is often followed by guilt, a chronic thought of "If only I...[did X] wouldn't have happened" The effects are commonly as permanent as the suicide, and no amount of time heals the wounds left behind. Your mother will feel a very wide range of painful emotions, and will wrestle nonstop with the question of "Why?" She will find little comfort anywhere, as suicide is not something most people are comfortable talking about.

    There's very little comfort in the way of a mother coping with her child's suicide. One mother who lost her son to suicide said, "I feel like a confused animal. I keep looking for my baby."

    Could you tell us what's going on?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 3, 2011
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    There is nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING you could do that would make it easier on her.
    My son is everything and (God forbid) if anything happened to him, or worse, he took his own life, I would never ever recover.
    Believe you me, she would much rather you be the biggest pain in the arse and bother her to death, than that you weren't there.
  4. xxLostHopexx

    xxLostHopexx Member

    Trust me when I say this , your Mum will be devastated

    she WILL blame herself , no matter how many times or how many people tell her it wasnt her fault , she will believe with all her heart it was her fault and that there was something she could have done or said

    It WILL eat away at her , making her question every little decision she ever made in raising you

    She will miss you every second of every day , and nothing will ever fill that aching empty gap where you should be in her heart

    I know that she would rather you talk to her now , tell her how you feel and ask for her help than have to live a life without you
  5. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel- I'm tired of being a bother to my mom as well.
    I certainly have other reasons too.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    all of the above advice is spot on..

    this from Terry says it all..Believe you me, she would much rather you be the biggest pain in the arse and bother her to death, than that you weren't there.

    your mother will never get over your loss..especially to suicide that leaves so many questions and a roller coaster of emotions which never cease

    there isn't anything you can do to make it easier for her if you take your life..
    no note will suffice
    the way you do it won't make a difference
    time will never heal her
    her world will end when yours does.
    you are a part of your Mothers soul...she gave birth to you and she is not supposed to bury you
    Mothers feel they are supposed to protect their children and if they can't they are left to live with the guilt and loss forever
    she will never, ever 'enjoy' life again

    How do I know this for sure?
    My son took his life!

    please talk to your Mum and let her help you.
    find a doctor or get yourself to ER as soon as possible..
    you don't have to die -there are other choices

    keep reaching out and talking to us.
    we understand that hopeless feeling and want to help
  7. kuriheartsyou

    kuriheartsyou Member

    I'd like to see this plan of yours, but I honestly doubt it would work unless your mother is a stoned degenerate that's neglected you since the beginning of time.

    I could only imagine how I would feel if my child killed himself, and trust me "One less mouth to feed" did NOT come to mind. Your mother could very likely drive herself insane with grief.
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    spot on!!!

    How you doing picamon46??
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Talk to us okay talk to someone and get some help to make you feel better
    As said it would be my death sentence if my child did that and i know as she has almost accomplished it.
    note i would rather her here with me being a total pain then to not see her face again

    There is help hun there is reach out okay call your doctor talk to a teacher talk to your mother who will do everything in her power to help you

    hugs to you
  10. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    please please please listen to everyone I would of given the same advice hell I saw what it does to your mother I almost succeded it is something that changes someones every essance I lost my partner to suicide and I will never get over it a part of my soul and heart have been torn out and they will never return I keep thinking what if I was with her what if I did this what if I did that I keep wishing I had a tardis or something so I can go back and stop her and this is only half of how her mother feels a mother will do anything to protect its own anything at all she would stand infront of a man with a gun and take the bullet for you if she has to, do you understand she will never ever let anything hurt you if she can.
  11. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    I am a father, thats why im still here, simple really.
    I have no thoughts on suicide anymore but the very thought of one of my children wanting to leave me and this world fills me with anguish.
    I would feel a failure, to them and myself.
    Its easy to find reasons not to go on, but its not easy to justify them to others.
    The reason?..............................LOVE.......................This is the most powerful emotion that exists, you can't turn it on and off like a tap. Your Mum loves you and its clear you do her............or you would not be posting this.
    Talk to your Mum, let it out and get hug too, hugs are the best thing ever, free, warm and safe.
    Don't leave your mum in a living bereavement.............for the rest of her life.
    This isn't about guilt trips its about Love.
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