How to not take relationships too seriously

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by anoriginalthought, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. anoriginalthought

    anoriginalthought Active Member

  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I guess its dependent on what you mean by "too seriously" - if you mean too seriously for your time of life or too seriously for the other person... in either case the truth is "I don't know". Not sure why I am even answering this thread as I have literally no advice; I am horrible at listening to the logical part of my brain instead of the emotional part.

    All I can really suggest (from a totally hypocritical stand point) is that the you assess relationships early on and make a logical reason driven call about how much of yourself (and which parts) you are going to invest in the relationship. And then stick to it. (No advice on how to actually pull that off... all in all a useless answer - sorry!)
  3. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    I may not be the best person to be giving advice here seeing as I have every little in the way of experience with anything relationship oriented, but not caring is one of my specialties so maybe my advice will help.

    My best bit of advice is to focus on the things you want to do, or things you want/need to accomplish. By focusing on yourself first it's much easier to keep your focus away from relationships in general, this is really useful if you're single and lonely. I know because I've been single for over a year now (again) but I'm not lonely at all this time. In fact I think I'm happier now being single than I've ever been in a relationship. Being single has a lot of benefits, and being in a relationship won't instantly make you happy (You may get some momentary happiness at first, but it will fade and your unhappiness will come back. If you think a relationship will make you happy, it won't. You gotta look inside yourself if you wanna be happy, and love who you are.)

    Also, most relationships fail in the end anyways, so it's good to keep in mind that the odds are against any given relationship. So, if you're going into a relationship, or just crushing on someone, just keep in mind that you're probably not meeting your soul mate or anything. Another thing I always tell myself is that love is not an essential thing in life. It is more than possible to be alone forever and still be happy. I honestly think it's best to learn to be single and happy before you even try to find a relationship. I mean, you gotta love yourself before you can extend that love to another, or before you can receive love from someone else.

    So basically my advice boils down to this, focus on yourself. Be happy about who you are, or make yourself into someone you can be happy about. I don't know why you would want a relationship, but if it's to fill some kind of void you feel, look within yourself to fill that void.
  4. whoamiboo

    whoamiboo Active Member

    I have been in a relationship with my partner for 16 years. She is the most wonderful individual I have ever met in my life. She is just not the love of my life she is also my soulmate through and through !!!!

    You asked if you are taking your relationship to serious.. What are some of the factor to this thought? I think a relationship is a serious matter you have to give and receive many days. It's not easy but you can make the best of it if you put your heart and soul into it. I know I take my relationship very serious. If it wasn't for her in my life I don't know where I would be. Honestly, I probably would have committed suicide by now. I live every day of my life for me and her. It's a give and take situation. Don't get me wrong there are days I just want out of this world but I know it is not the answer.

    Try to search in your heart for answers to your thoughts. If you don't find them keep trying. I am sorry I don't know your circumstances but keep talking maybe someone will help you figure them out! Good luck to you with your thoughts and your relationship!!!