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How To Open Up About Suicidal Thoughts

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#1
Okay, so..I was originally planning to not open up to my T about my suicidal thoughts at all, because I'm terrified of hospitalization. But, my mother wants to have a session with my T before I start school to ask her if she thinks I'm safe, or if I might attempt suicide again.

So if she finds out I haven't talked to my T about this, she'll be very upset...

So I've decided I'm going to talk to my T in the morning about these thoughts!
But. I really don't know how? Like what do I say so she knows enough to help, but not so much she punishes me with hospitalization?

"Hey (we'll call her M) I plan to die, one, because life is hell and I regret not dying the first time I tried, and two, because I have a paralyzing fear of losing control of the way I die if that makes any sense whatsoever :)"

I don't think that would work lol.

I just need like, some way to safely express these feelings.

Any tips?
 

EmB

Absolute Peach!
#3
Approach it by saying that you often get strong impulses. You've never acted on them, but you get a strong impulse to do so, and want to know how to reduce that impulse.

Please don't end your life - I don't have much advice to give, but I do know that the world needs you. This post helped me for a little while, it helped me feel like I wasnt the only one. It took me a long time, but I found out I had a life to live and so do you. Hang in there.

Sending hugs

Em
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
Hospitalization wouldn't be a punishment, but I understand why you would view it that way. I hope you don't need it - that you will accept help and try to get better.

Does your therapist know you have attempted? If not, I would start there. If so, I would start with the situation. Tell the therapist why your mom would want to talk to them. They *should* ask follow up questions about what you are thinking and if you are planning anything.

You might want to write something down ahead of time to give to them. I know for me it helps me better to organize my thoughts and really plan what I want to say, and if I give my therapist a note it removes the option to chicken out and only say half of the truth.
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#5
Based on my personal experiences, therapists are only going to do something like that if they think that you're an active danger to yourself or others. I would recommend saying that you aren't planning on making a future attempt if you want to avoid being committed. You can talk about how you feel and why you want to make an attempt, but try not to give off the impression that if they don't hospitalize you then you'll be dead before the next appointment, you know? There's a difference between idealizing something and getting prepared to actually do something. It might also be helpful to explain to them why you feel that being hospitalized would not help you. Wishing you all the best.
 

iwihbn

Don't the sun look angry at me?
#6
Okay, so..I was originally planning to not open up to my T about my suicidal thoughts at all, because I'm terrified of hospitalization. But, my mother wants to have a session with my T before I start school to ask her if she thinks I'm safe, or if I might attempt suicide again.

So if she finds out I haven't talked to my T about this, she'll be very upset...

So I've decided I'm going to talk to my T in the morning about these thoughts!
But. I really don't know how? Like what do I say so she knows enough to help, but not so much she punishes me with hospitalization?

"Hey (we'll call her M) I plan to die, one, because life is hell and I regret not dying the first time I tried, and two, because I have a paralyzing fear of losing control of the way I die if that makes any sense whatsoever :)"

I don't think that would work lol.

I just need like, some way to safely express these feelings.

Any tips?
First off, that's really good to hear! Its good you're going to open up to the T. Under HIPAA, however, she cannot tell your mother anything about the details of your therapy. AFAIK, this law is also present in most areas based on English Law.
I would be frank. Talk about thinking of suicide, but continue to speak about why you feel that way, because that way, she can understand. The more details you are comfortable with sharing, the higher the chance of successful help. It's almost like writing an essay, in a sense. Take each thought you have, and build on it, so instead of saying 'life is hell,' you could expand on why life is hell
So long as you are not at short-term active risk to yourself, she probably will not attempt to pursue hospitalization, as that really is a 'last resort' for most mandatory reporters.
I really hope this helps! :D
 

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