How to piss people off

Discussion in 'The Gameroom' started by resistance, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Ask people what gender they are.

    Practice making fax and modem noises.

    Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

    If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    Speak only in a "robot" voice.

    Blow your nose when some one is eating.

    Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "eat away your food " !

    Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

    Name your dog "Dog."

    Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

    Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

    Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

    Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

    Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

    Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

    Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    Drum on every available surface.

    Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

    Set alarms for random times.

    Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.


    only type in lowercase.

    dont use any punctuation either

    Repeat everything someone says, as a question?

    Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

    Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

    Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

    Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

    Wear a LOT of cologne.

    Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

    Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

    Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

    Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

    Never make eye contact.

    Never break eye contact.

    Make appointments for the 31st of September.

    :D I have to admit I do use the "Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."", a lot. :shy: Not a dozen times though :rolleyes:
    person likes this.
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    when in america i wore a LOT of perfume :laugh:

    i am good at pissing people off:

    e.g. when my mum is angry i say 'oooh menopause' or 'ooh looks who's angry', that normally winds her up more
    i also stick my finger in my mum's ear, which she hates!
    i like annoying certain people by constantly poking them in the back :rolleyes:
    and singing one line of a song outloud over and over and over normally does the trick too

    i'm a lovely girl really :angel: honest :unsure:
  3. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I love these. I like the one about poems. My poems rarely rhyme and it irritates the hell out of me when poems always rhyme. When my poems rhyme they suck. You would think people would consider things like illiteration, near rhyme, and what not. :sad:

    But my husband is always trying to make me mad and it's not funny. He's an expert at it. He knows exactly what irritates me and does it incessantly.:mad:

  4. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I forget this isn't a daily occurance for most people! :laugh:
  5. i growl at people who stare at me, that usually provokes a loud 'huhhhhhh?' which is even more annoying :rolleyes:
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Ask girls their age and/or weight. :laugh:
    I'm just a naturally curious person, sorry. :biggrin:

    Also I repeat what others say, repeat a certain phrase or word from a tv show
    and try to use it in context whenever I can.
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Talk like a baby voice typa thing :rolleyes: :tongue:
  8. _nu

    _nu Well-Known Member

  9. Dragon's Eye

    Dragon's Eye Well-Known Member

    I usually piss people off just by walkin past them without even sayin anythin.:blink:
  10. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I usually piss people off (intentionally) by being very very sarcastic :biggrin:
  11. Dragon's Eye

    Dragon's Eye Well-Known Member

    Btw I don't even like to pissing people off intentionally, because I know it is extremely annoying
  12. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I only like to piss off people who (imo) deserve and need to be pissed off. I used to work in a factory - a well known manufacturer of plastic storage containers and household things - and the managers treated the production workers like crap. So I'd talk to the managers and deliberately use BIG words that I knew they weren't familiar with, just to see that stupid look on their mean ol' faces. Or when they made signs with misspelled words or bad grammar I'd always point it out to them. Or memos with the same faults would get red circles and I'd send the corrected copy back to them - ooohh they didn't like that!:rolleyes: :wink:

    Then just before they shut down the entire plant in my town, throwing 1,200 people out of work:mad: :mad: I wrote a satire on our little safety newsletter (of which I was part of the staff) and made fun of them mercilessly... and spared no blow, no matter how low!:rolleyes: hee hee!!

    They threatened me with "discipline" so I threatened them with state-wide publication of said satirical newsletter... and they never said another word about it, stupid mean sob's!!:laugh:

    least (likely to let myself be walked on!)
  13. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    simply existing
  14. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :rofl: that made me laugh
  15. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    I piss people off by going "guess what?" "what?" "guess!" "i don't know" then you say the answer and repeat the guess what game over and over
  16. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You are a bit sly eh? :tongue: :tongue:
  17. Jess

    Jess Guest

    I don't need this to tell me how to piss people off.

    It comes NATURALLY

    plus, I'm as sarcastic as they come...

    and slightly gutter-minded :rolleyes:

    speak without thinking.. and I piss people off.. you know what they say.. The truth hurts


    I'm an Asshole - Dennis Leary

    "I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane, while people behind me are going insane"
    "I park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces"

    " I walk around in the summer time saying 'how about this heat?'"

    No offense intended to anyone...
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2006
  18. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Jess! :blink: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
  19. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I manage to piss people off my being me :blink: :eek:hmy: :sad: :unsure:
  20. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :eek:hmy: not true.. you's a sweetie :) :hug: