How to pull myself out of this numb state?

Discussion in 'I Need Some Practical Advice (New Forum)' started by Brittless, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Hello,

    Lately I've just been really... numb. Nothing phases me. Nothing penetrates my walls. Nothing in particular has happened to make me revert back to this state. Well I suppose one thing did. Something I was looking forward to didn't happen and I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever happen but I started to become numb before that.

    Life is very stale at the moment. What I mean is it's like there's no color, no feeling, no purpose. I don't want anyone to tell me what my purpose in life is. That is not what I am asking for. I am aware of the fact that we all find our own purpose in life.

    I just need some genuine advice from others on how to combat this numb feeling. How to start feeling the life I'm living in if that makes any sense at all. I know others must've dealt with this before.

    Earlier this year I thought I was getting better but for some reason it seems I'm reverting backwards and I have no idea why. I hate the void. I hate only feeling apathy. So please someone, any suggestions or advice would mean a lot to me. I am too scared to face the void again. I don't want to be there.
     
  2. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Take my hand, and lean on me. If you are having a bad day, IM me , we can chat. If I am not online, PM me and share with me what you are going through.

    Sounds like something, that didn't happen was very important to you. May I ask what was it?

    What are some of the things that used to make you feel "alive" and now don't?

    You mention, that have you been through this "void" before, what "pulled you out of it last time?"

    How long have you been feeling this way?

    I don't have anything tonight, let me think about it.

    Take Care
     
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  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Dragging yourself out of the void needs exactly that - dragging. I get this - you get into a horrible slump and getting out of bed seems like the most pointless thing in the world and everything feels empty and useless. Unfortunately that doesn't go away on its own and while talking can fill the emptiness a bit, it doesn't really "help". In this situation my experience is you have to force yourself up, and out, and DO something (anything). Make a plan, set a goal. No, you will not want to nor will you see the point nor will you feel 'good' about it - it is an exercise in understanding intellectually that even though you see no point and don't want to, it is the best thing to do for yourself and you deserve that effort.

    Get up - go outside - make a plan - set a goal. It is the only way out of the void that I know of, and sadly only you can do it. Good luck!
     
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  4. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Well-Known Member

    Hi Britt,

    Don't you have a trip coming up? Maybe you can pull yourself away from your current life by looking at pictures of where you will be going and things you can do there, maybe 'planning' it a bit; hopefully it can bring back the spark you had at least in relation to that.

    Try going somewhere different some days: a new park, browse a thrift store, a yard sale/farmers market, go watch a comedy movie alone.

    And whatever it was that you were hoping for, you may have to take it out and look at it, and either allow yourself more hope for it since may be possible in future, or look at/try to come up with a substitute if doesn't come about.
     
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  5. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    A lot of physical activity used to make me feel alive but now when I try to exercise it just frustrates me because I can't do it. Debates with people and friends which I just don't care about anymore, all art forms. Books. Life..

    I'm not sure what pulled me out of it last time, other than my symptoms were subdued for awhile so I felt I had more energy and was more alive. Now I'm back to constant pain & fatigue.

    A month or two. I've been straddling the void but feel like I keep getting pulled further in lately.

    Thanks for your reply
     
  6. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the time and reply. I'm not sure if you mean do more than what I am already doing? As I get up, go to school every week day, and go to work on the weekend. Rinse and repeat. When I get out I am far too exhausted to do much unfortunately, except hang with the bf or get online and do my piles of homework. If you mean go beyond that, like just get out and do something maybe that I'd feel good doing I think I could try that on a day that's more lax.

    I am going to Spain next year for 5 months and I've been kicking my ass into high gear to make it happen. The trouble is I want it, I know I want it. I wouldn't let it go. I just don't feel it. Like the excitement I'm supposed to feel and such. My bf says a lot of my energy is focused on the pain I feel and the symptoms I experience rather than feeling other things. I think I could agree with him there. I think if there were a way to at least subdue the pain maybe I could feel ..er emotions more but I don't know.

    Sorry, rambled on for awhile. Thanks for trying to work through this problem with me.

    -Brittany
     
  7. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Thanks Alexi. The pictures is a great idea. I just looked them up and it did move me a slight inch towards excited. Well at the least interested, but any positive emotion is good for me. Even if it's small.

    I think that going somewhere different could be a good idea potentially and ties into what I was saying to Freya. That I could do something else on days that are more lax. I mean it can't hurt to try right, I'm already at the void, I hope there isn't a deeper bottom than that.

    Agreed. Appreciate your time.

    -Brittany
     
  8. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    This may sound eccentric, but when I was doing really badly...mostly very apathetic, I would go to a nearby spa. I live in the mountains, and in the off-seasons, the touristy type spas offer cheap monthly memberships to locals, like the amount you'd pay for a gym. Just being in the saunas and hot tubs relaxed me and made me feel good. Just a suggestion. Also, going to used books stores helped me too, I started to get interested in the books and the subjects. I hope you feel better Brittany xx
     
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  9. Brittless

    Brittless Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the reply. A sauna doesn't sound half bad especially since its relaxing which will help with pain. :)
     
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  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Part of how we feel is related to emotions and personal experiences. Another part is just physical, and the two parts are interconnected.

    Can you tell me more about your illness? There are some practical dietary and other recommendations that I might make, but I don't want to say anything without knowing a little more background.

    Working and going to school at the same time seems like it must be very draining. The level of stress that you are putting yourself under may be one of the causes for the way you feel.

    You might want to look into vocational rehabilitation services, or disability benefits, to try to ease the burden that you placed on yourself.