How to start?

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Leocorde, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. Leocorde

    Leocorde Member

    So I found this forum on a search, looking for some wisdome, inspiration, or support. I'm curious how any of you start/started out here. I mean, I'd really like an opinion or someone to lend an ear and maybe respond with some advice, but I don't want to just start blabbing about myself and my own problems like I'm the only one who needs help.

    Obviously that's why a lot of us are probably here; we're having trouble going on in our lives and we need some help. Still, I don't quite know what to say. I'd want to describe what's going on and see what people say, but I hesitate to make myself the center of attention.

    Not only that, I'm not sure how much I can contribute here. I'm not exactly in a position to give someone the right words since I'm on the wrong end of the spectrum myself. I'd hate for everyone to think I came here just to pour out my soul and have someone save me.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello @Leocorde and welcome to the forum.
    It really depends, some are here to help others through their own experiences, others are here because they are in a crisis, others feel they can not talk to anybody about this IRL and others just need to feel less lonely by being here. I hope that answers your query.

    I am glad you chose to join, please feel free to share any of what you are going through with us, we are here to comfort one another and help life be less hectic and dramatic as it often is with mental illness.
     
  3. Leocorde

    Leocorde Member

    I appreciate that. I sucked it up and posted something like an intellectual question before I start dumping myself all over the place. It's good to have a place to talk, just have to wait and see if anyone has any advice. Thanks for your response. :)
     
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome Leocorde. Am glad you are here, but sorry you need the site. I actually am sorry anyone needs the site. It would be so wonderful if that were the case. I came here about 2 years ago after my fourth job layoff. It has been an extraordinary experience. There are some really amazing people here.

    And don't worry about feeling obligated to support anyone here. Right now you need support and time to heal. I hope you will tell us what is going on in your life. You are likely to find that others have been through very similar experiences and can offer suggestions that will be helpful to you.
     
  5. Leocorde

    Leocorde Member

    It's a very strange thing. I started a thread about it under the "Help Me! Need to talk to someone" board titled "Arguing with myself" if you're curious.
     
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I just read that thread. It sounds like you are having a battle with logic. Logic has its place. It is a very useful thing. But humans cannot deny their emotions. We are emotional creatures. I actually think that emotions usually rule over logic. Even when we think we are being logical, emotions are playing a part. Please don't discount emotions in you decision making process. They are an integral part of what makes you you.
     
  7. Leocorde

    Leocorde Member

    My emotions are leaning to the wrong side, that's why I tried switching to rationalization. Problem is, I'm still leaning to the wrong side doing that. And the fact that both emotional and rational are leaning to that side only makes me believe more that I've come to the right decision. The only reason I haven't done anything yet is because the rational side believes more time is needed before coming to a conclusion so quickly.
     
    sahel likes this.
  8. DadzTruk

    DadzTruk Member

    Leocorde,

    I think this forum is a great avenue for all of us regardless of where we ae emotionally or rationally in our lives at the moment. It’s good for getting advice. I personally prefer advice based on experience even though I realize that isn’t possible in every scenario. It’s a good place to gain perspective on our own lives and it’s a good environment to help others work through their struggles.

    You said that your emotional and rational thoughts ae leaning to the “wrong” side. The fact that you recognize that as the “wrong” side, shows that your logic and rationale is actually telling you that it’s wrong. For every reason that your emotions tell you it’s right – even when they are masquerading as “rational” – your logic realizes it’s wrong. I’m not your judge - and you probably aren’t having feelings much different than I did a few years back, but making the “wrong” decision does not end the pain. It just transfers that to the ones who love you. I’ve told many people that over the last 6 years, but it’s 100% truth. Even people who think no one cares, loves them or will miss them are sadly mistaken. The family members and friends that experience a loss to suicide will never get over it. Suicide has never been the “right” answer to anyone’s situation.

    Please don’t let life so overwhelm you in the short term that you are willing to sacrifice the long term possibilities of your life. I know life can and will get better because I’m living proof of that. Go talk to a professional counselor and let them help you walk through whatever you are walking through right now. Just don’t give up. Life is always the “right” choice. Praying that your days will get better and brighter.
     
  9. letuswalk

    letuswalk New Member

    Hi Leocorde. I might not know the right words either, but one thought comes to mind, which I'll share with you: it's OK to be kind to yourself.

    The world needs more kindness! More understanding...through hearing stories and sharing stories. Like the kindness toward a plant freely given sun and rain but it fails to discern the logic of it all. Discernment is for another day when your head is screwed on straight! But every day we can decide for kindness.

    In any case, I'm concerned about you and am rooting for you.