I don't know why I'm getting them, I'm not actively suicidal atm. Today was actually a decent day. Felt ok. About as close to content as I'll ever feel. And I had the thought that I needed to shave, followed closely by the thought of slitting my throat with the razor. And once my OCD picked up on it I started getting anxious about it. I thought I was getting better so why do I keep having these thoughts? I don't really want to do it at this point. Suicide is a conscious decision right? There's no way the subconscious can "make" you suicide right? Or can it? I figured some people here might have some techniques that gets them away from that line of thinking.