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How to stop pushing people away?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Apr 13, 2015.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I have abandonment issues stemming from childhood that I haven't really been able to overcome. It seems that when someone does leave my life, I always blame myself, as not being good enough, unworthy or worthless, even if the reasons have nothing to do with me. When I perceive that someone is getting bored with me, or might leave my life, it seems that I push them away instead of drawing them closer. I know people get fed up with this behavior and sometimes leave because of that. How do I show people that I care? How do I get over the fear that everyone will leave me? I know it's not logical, so how do I start to believe that I deserve people in my life and that I won't end up completely alone?
  2. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    As you point out yourself it's somehow unlogical.

    And I think at least you're smart enough to realize what is the problem which is probably the first huge step out of two to make things better.
    So as they said : Calm down and Carry on (my wayward son)" ^_-

    My best advise would be to not think TOO much.
    People need love and need to feel that they are important for someone just you need this.
    So don't be afraid or ashamed to show your love they need it and it will be easier too.
    If you want to call someone take your phone, If you want to see someone walk and go, if you want to tell someone something just speak. It's as easy as that !

    Of course sometimes you won't have an answer to your kindness and your feelings (I don't talk about romance ... it's feeling in a wide perspective) but it happens to everyone but don't blame yourself at least you would have act the proper way, don't be scared to fail before trying you might miss a lot of things and even getting rejected might be a good thing as you get to know exactly what people are important in your life ! This is a GOOD thing !

    So to summ it up I would say :

    Each time you wonder and you know you do, don't pretend you can't do anything, hiding behind the "I am someone who is shy and afraid"
    You are the personn who decides who you want to be !

    So don't be scared and give it a try with an honest heart and whatever happens think :
    "But I'll always live for tomorrow. I'll look back on myself and say I did it for love."

    You will be great if you want to :3
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2015
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thank you for the helpful advice :)
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