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How to stop someone from drinking themselves to death?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Evo_L, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately my father is a really heavy drinker. He began about two or three years ago, but now he's reached a pitiful state in his heavy drinking. He drinks at least two bottles of red wine a day. He's 55 years old and has a heart problem.

    The drinking has really taken it's toll on him, he's much less sharper than he used to be, his face is really red and blotchy. He really can't handle his drink either, he becomes drunk after about two glasses, if he's in company with anyone else he always ends up upsetting someone or getting into a heated arguement. In the last few years he's aged by about 10 years, before he used to look healthy but now he looks really past it.

    My brother who is also an alcoholic pretty much drove him to drink by constantly persuding him to buy drink for the household, my parents are really naieve and neglectful, they completely failed to spot my brother was becoming an alcohollic.

    Whenever I challenge him about the drink he becomes really defensive, he gets really angry, other times he says 'I'll definately stop next week because I've got something important on at work' , but he never does. Last night he drank four bottles of red wine and he's just walked out the door to get some more.

    I did a form of medicine at university and I know for a fact that a man in his condition isn't going to last very long drinking like this, if his heart doesn't give in his liver is.

    Over the last two years there's been no grace period from his intake of alcohol and it's really having a negative impact on his health, he really is going to die from it.

    I'm going to have to contact an agency and give him some paperwork on the matter, maybe reading some leaflets would help re-enforce my concerns for him.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    There is no way that you can force him to stop, unfortunately it has to come from him, although you can, of course, support him.

    Finding literature might be a good idea, but don't be surprised if he reacts badly to it. He probably reacts defensively because he knows you are right and is scared, and he may react the same about literature.

    You could also look into your local AA and find out about that.

    That would provide him with info, and make it as easy as possible for him to fight, but he won't fight it, unless he wants to.

    You could also let him know that you are open to going to the doctors and supporting him there. If he goes to the doctors the doctor can open a world of support for him, and also point him towards help. It sounds like your dad could do with detox, and your doc would be able to advise about that too.

    Essentially it comes down to you dad, but it can be a really hard thing to admit that you have a problem, and he is probably very scared of doing that. Just let him know that you care and are there to help. That's pretty much all you can do for him.

    Also, make sure that you get some help and support for yourself.

    Hang in there and take care
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds just like my uncle. He ended up in hospital recently with alcohol induced paralysis.
    Like your dad he is systematically destroying himself with the booze and I'm afraid there is nothing anyone can do. Until he himself wants to change things or get better (and face the fact that he is an alcoholic) there is little to nothing anyone can do. It's a sad thing to have to live with.
    However, there is support for you is you want it Al-anon gives support to relatives of alcoholics, give em a ring.
  4. Lucie

    Lucie Well-Known Member

    Tell him how you feel bout his drinking, how it upsets everyone, tell him how he looks like shit - people often don't realise they are starting to look ill until it's pointed out to them, it can really open their eyes to the problem. Ask him "do you want to die? cus you will if you carry on". If he carries on drinking it's obvious he doesn't care, there is nothing u can do.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    This is a very difficult situation. As the others have said, it ultimately comes down to the choices your dad makes. If you have a good support system you could try a family intervention, but even with that you dad has to be willing to take the chance to get help. I am sure he knows the ramifications of drinking. I am not sure the literature will do him any good. What might though is knowing that you care enough to find and present him with it. Has he admitted to having a problem, or does he deny the problem exists? Many alcoholics really believe they are fine. They have no problem with alcohol whatsoever and they can stop whenever they choose. Except the never choose to. :( AA is a good choice for information. If your dad won't go, maybe you can go to the groups available for such as al-a-teen. It will teach you about enabling and how to deal withmany situations. It also provides support for you. Don't give up. :hug:
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