How to Survive...???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Adib Tanjeem, Dec 25, 2015.

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  1. Adib Tanjeem

    Adib Tanjeem Member

    Hi good people, :)

    I'm Adib from Bangladesh. As I'm regular here, some members may know what brought me here. I, however, have concealed what is really bothering me as it is tough to both explain & understand. So i have been telling people that only constant muscle spasms brought me to this forum. But it's not the only thing that is killing me. The main problem that arises from my muscle spasms is my lack of concentration. It's not easy to understand as it seems right now. It's almost unbelievable that my thought process gets slow when i try to think consciously. It's not only because spasms break my concentration, it's something more even I don't understand. So, I experience memory loss & lack of intellect. I also get headaches when i forcefully try to make my brain functions normally. I sometimes hurt people even when I try not to. I can't hold something light in my hands for even a minute as my hands start to tingle. & most unbelievably, it's not merely muscle spasms what I'm experiencing. It has no diagnosis. it feels like one part of my body muscles got sore & my whole body is trying to stretch those muscles by controlling my other muscles. I know how tough it is to believe what I'm going through but I'm not telling lie at all. I'm only 20 but i know I won't be able to take it for 50-60 years. I don't want to die now as I still have dreams. But I'm not sure how to survive because no treatment is working. I have been struggling for more than 5 years & now I cant take this anymore. I don't think I'll keep myself alive for years with problems like these. I'm sorry if someone finds it disturbing but I just tried to say how I'm feeling. I, however, is sure I'm suffering much more than one can imagine.
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Adib, I am sure that there are others in here that can Identify with your problem, they talk about exploring the stars, when here we cannot fully understand out Planet and even less so the human Body and Mind! I also agree that there are some in here who may be disturbed by what you are revealing to us today, I am sure that most will not have a problem with it, we have learned to adjust to some of the things that we hear about and read in here. I am sorry that you are having to go through this, Thank you for sharing this with us, it helps to open our eyes to others problems and issues. I can understand your reluctance to endure that kind of torment and as much as I would not wish it on anybody, I can only say, I hope that you do not give up, I will ask that you Hold On! How long would I ask this of myself, I do not know, I cannot say, I cannot speak for others, some days I feel my own Pain and issues are unbearable, so I can hardly imagine what you are going through and dealing with. I will be among the First to admit to others, that my issues, feelings and pain, all of these pale in comparison to others in here. I can empathize with you and I understand your feelings. I ask you to connect with others in here, talk with them, see what they are doing and how they are dealing with it, not to compare but to understand where they are and how they cope, I have never felt the kind of pain that you describe and I hope that you can find some kind of relief from it! I wish you the best.
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  3. Adib Tanjeem

    Adib Tanjeem Member

    thanks for your empathy lee.. I'll be fighting till the last day of my life.. but it's a fight i can't win. that's why I'm gradually giving up.

    thank you again for your concern, anyway.. you gave me some inspiration to fight back.. :)
  4. tired eric

    tired eric Member

    I understand. I am at my final point as well.
  5. Adib Tanjeem

    Adib Tanjeem Member

    I'm sorry to hear that.. what is bothering you..??
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