How to talk to someone?

ShyGuy

Well-Known Member
#1
I met someone that lives really close to me and we talk to eachother online. Sometimes he doesn't reply for awhile though. He's back to talking to me but I'm not good at talking to him.

He likes modern indie games like Bendy and the Ink Machine and all these gothic indie things and making his own music, but I've never played Bendy and the Ink Machine. I'm just into Nintendo games and oldschool games.

He likes anime and said he has a crush on certain types of girls though. He said he has a crush on a certain anime character and I asked him why and he didn't reply for like a month. but I sent him another e-mail this week and he said hi back and stuff but I'm not sure what to talk about with him.

I've never been good at talking to people. (Which makes me miss my two best friends that I lost recently too.. I wish I could be friends with those two friends I lost.. I've been depressed ever since I lost them and I haven't been able to make close friends like that again.)
 

Organicmaplesyurp

Some Chargie
SF Supporter
#2
Hey there,

I'm sorry you lost you friends. Do you know why that is?

I used to have social anxiety a lot worse than I do now. Honestly, the key to getting over that fear is realizing these few things:

  • You are not bothering them. If someone is your friend, they want you to talk to them!
  • People are not above you. Everyone has fears, hopes, and desires. Most of them stem from the same fears. Even people who try to pretend that they are above you, aren't. We'll all just humans, wandering around, trying to figure life out.
  • We all have awkward moments. They don't define you as a person, it's just a little occurrence that no one thinks about later.
  • No one cares about something you think you shouldn't have said. They aren't even think about it, they are worried about their own stuff.
  • It's okay to be you, no matter how you are.
  • People really aren't that intimidating. Yes, really. They're just like you.
If you can apply these things, you will feel a lot freer.

Now onto how to talk. :)

You haven't played the games they have. That's a great conversation starter. You're both into gaming, so ask them more about it.

You could talk about anime.

I found that a good trick to talking to people is elaborating on your sentences, and holding off on too many questions. (Come up with some questions and tuck them aside in your head. It keeps the conversation going longer!) For example, if they ask how your day was, don't just say, "good, you?" Say, "it was blah blah blah. I went and did blah blah blah." Let them reply for a while, then ask how their day was.

Or if you're stating the conversation, and ask "how was your day?" If they say "good, you?" Ask them what they did. If they say "nothin' much," Maybe even throw in some jokes. That's how you keep a convo going.

This is a person you've not met in person before, correct? If you decide to meet up, make sure people know where you're going, and who you're with, and met in public. After a bit of chatting, tell them that you know that they are not far away, and you would like to meet up. Suggest a public place so they feel more comfortable too.
 
#4
I agree with May71, it sounds creepy, but sometimes you need to understand what other people like so you can start conversations about them. Have you tried playing those games or watching that anime and seeing if you like it at all? Even if you don't, then just having watched it can help you to talk about it, and people love talking about stuff they like, so starting a conversation about a topic he really likes should hopefully get him out of his shell?
 

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