• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

How To Trusr My Therapist?

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#1
A little background: I've been going to therapy since October 30th, following my suicide attempt in September (2019).

1. I feel like part of why I don't trust her is what I mentioned in my last post (for those who haven't read my last post, I am scared of her because she's a little TOO nice, and hasn't reacted to things I've done wrong, so I'm just waiting for her to punish me some horrible way, though I'm working on telling myself that she's a therapist, and it's not a therapists job to punish people, so I'm safe.).
2. My other reason is therapists as a whole in my experience tend to be very bad at keeping my trust.
My first therapist, she broke my trust by threatening to report my mother. Than my second therapist broke my trust by 1. Asking me upfront first one on one visit if my mother was abusive (WTF?) And than I mentioned suicidal thoughts (no plan, just thoughts) and she tried to have me hospitalized. SO NOW with my current therapist, I won't tell her anything remotely negative my mother does, (even though it's making my S.I and guilt really bad) and I won't talk to her about suicidal thoughts. Which is bad because idk how long I can handle them without help. It's getting lot key obsessive.


So, my question is, how do I learn to trust my therapist?
 
Last edited:
#2
I feel like part of why I don't trust her is what I mentioned in my last post (for those who haven't read my last post, I am scared of her because she's a little TOO nice, and hasn't reacted to things I've done wrong, so I'm just waiting for her to punish me some horrible way, though I'm working on telling myself that she's a therapist, and it's not a therapists job to punish people, so I'm safe.).
You could try telling her that her being nice frightens you, and that you are expecting punishment.

My first therapist, she broke my trust by threatening to report my mother. Than my second therapist broke my trust by 1. Asking me upfront first one on one visit if my mother was abusive (WTF?)
Some of the things you've said about expecting to be punished, or inspiring angry feelings for minor issues, makes it sound like you're from an abusive household. These really aren't the sort of things that someone who has had a healthy upbringing would think or say. It's not really surprising to me that your therapist asked if you were from an abusive home.

You might want to try asking your therapist what the limits of confidentiality are in therapy. That might help you develop trust that the therapist won't report things that you don't want reported.

I really think you are from an abusive home though, it's just that you haven't realized it yet.

Hugs
 
#3
I have the same issue LoL, I don´t like talking to my therapist, mostly because I don´t know how much can I say without her taking some sort of action.
Like the coment above said I think you could ask yours the limits of confidentiality, what would she/he be required by law to report, and in addicion you can ask He/she why they are so nice all the time, and say you are uncomfortable and maybe say you are afraid of her punishing you, and if she/he brings up your mother abusing you ask why he/she thinks that, idk your life, but maybe read up online about home abuse, to try to adentify if maybe your mom is abusing you in any way... I am not sure if this is good advice honestly, I am just trying to be helpfull
 

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#4
You could try telling her that her being nice frightens you, and that you are expecting punishment.


Some of the things you've said about expecting to be punished, or inspiring angry feelings for minor issues, makes it sound like you're from an abusive household. These really aren't the sort of things that someone who has had a healthy upbringing would think or say. It's not really surprising to me that your therapist asked if you were from an abusive home.

You might want to try asking your therapist what the limits of confidentiality are in therapy. That might help you develop trust that the therapist won't report things that you don't want reported.

I really think you are from an abusive home though, it's just that you haven't realized it yet.

Hugs
"You could try telling her that her being nice frightens you, and that you are expecting punishment"
I could, but I don't want to hurt her feelings if she is just naturally that nice.

"I really think you are from an abusive home though, it's just that you haven't realized it yet." Please don't make assumptions like that. No offense what so ever but that really rubs me the wrong way when people judge my mom.

"Some of the things you've said about expecting to be punished, or inspiring angry feelings for minor issues, makes it sound like you're from an abusive household. These really aren't the sort of things that someone who has had a healthy upbringing would think or say. It's not really surprising to me that your therapist asked if you were from an abusive home." I understand. That does make sense. But that doesn't mean you or my therapist should assume it is my mother who is the problem.. you're right, I'm not from a "healthy upbringing" but it was my dad's fault not my moms. Again, no offense here. I think you're sweet, but people judging my mom just ruffles my feathers for some reason.

Lastly, I like your idea of asking the limits of confidentiality! I just need to work up the nerve to do so
 

A Lost Cause

Well-Known Member
#5
I have the same issue LoL, I don´t like talking to my therapist, mostly because I don´t know how much can I say without her taking some sort of action.
Like the coment above said I think you could ask yours the limits of confidentiality, what would she/he be required by law to report, and in addicion you can ask He/she why they are so nice all the time, and say you are uncomfortable and maybe say you are afraid of her punishing you, and if she/he brings up your mother abusing you ask why he/she thinks that, idk your life, but maybe read up online about home abuse, to try to adentify if maybe your mom is abusing you in any way... I am not sure if this is good advice honestly, I am just trying to be helpfull
Sorry to her you have the same issue!
I like your advice a lot too! I should definitely ask about the limits of confidentiality.
And if I ever get the nerve to, I would like to express my fears of my therapist to her without offending her or making her sad.

Though as I told the person above, judging my mother is off limits, respectfully. ♡
Implying I should check and see if she's abusive is technically judging her in my book. But thank you for the concern! You seem sweet.
 
#6
"You could try telling her that her being nice frightens you, and that you are expecting punishment"
I could, but I don't want to hurt her feelings if she is just naturally that nice.
I don't think it would hurt her feelings. You'd really be complementing her by telling her how nice she is. Explaining that her being so nice is hard for you to deal with would just make it easier for her to do her job.
Lastly, I like your idea of asking the limits of confidentiality! I just need to work up the nerve to do so
Whether it's about her being nice or anything else, if you're having a hard time saying certain things to her, you could write them down, or send her an email. That might make it easier.
No offense what so ever but that really rubs me the wrong way when people judge my mom
Well, strictly speaking I didn't mention your mom, but I think I understand what you are saying.
 
#8
Sorry to her you have the same issue!
I like your advice a lot too! I should definitely ask about the limits of confidentiality.
And if I ever get the nerve to, I would like to express my fears of my therapist to her without offending her or making her sad.

Though as I told the person above, judging my mother is off limits, respectfully. ♡
Implying I should check and see if she's abusive is technically judging her in my book. But thank you for the concern! You seem sweet.
I wasnt trying to judge because I don´t think I can judge your mom, I don´t know you or her, that is why I sugested you look it up online, because you can judge it because you know her, I just wanted you to get informed on the subject, I don´t mean to piss you off, I am just trying to explain my thought process. :)
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$510.00
Goal
$255.00
Top